Cracked 5 … April 10th, 2018



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Possible Reasons the Syrian Government is Killing Its Own People

A.  A unique approach to food shortages

 

B.  Chasing that record of six million Jews murdered by the Nazis

 

C.  “You always hurt the ones you love”

 

D.  SYRIA-OUSLY insane

 

E.  Expiration date coming up soon on poison gas cannisters

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G-Poppers … May 13th, 2016


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G-Pop wonders if his children comprehend the origin of evil.

After escaping the notion that we are plagued by demons from hell or caught up in a Luciferian revenge plot, we are left with the reality that evil is simply human beings gone amuck.

But is it all the lust of the flesh? The lust of the eyes? The truth is, most carnal sins do little to hurt anyone but the offending party.

G-Pop is curious if his children can recall an old-fashioned word which seems to have fallen out of favor: cunning.

Yes, it is a cunning spirit inside a conniving human heart which plans the offense, and even death, of other souls.

G-Pop’s not quite sure where it started–maybe it was thousands of years ago, when the human race lived in tribes and one tiny village thought it was clever to withhold the location of a good hunting ground from another nearby clump of people, so as to gain superiority.

In doing so, the selfish clan established a wicked premise: “We are better than you.”

Once that idea is invited into the minds of people, they will always be looking for ways to express their dominance, to the detriment of others.

For after all, in the 1950’s, in the southern part of our nation, no white family would discourage black people from singing Negro spirituals, clapping their hands, eating neck bones with collard greens or acting quiet and humble. Matter of fact, any Caucasian person would insist it was “just the black culture.”

They felt magnanimous by being aware of the preferences of their darker-shaded neighbors, allowing them to practice their desires.

It was cunning–a way of saying, “You’re not as good as me because you don’t do the same things I do. I pretend to bid you well, but reject your choices.”

This is why, in our present environment, politicians are able to convince us that Mexicans are rapists, all Muslims are potential terrorists, and billionaires are out to strangle the poor so they can fill their coffers.

We once believed that America was “the great melting pot.” It’s been replaced by the insistence that “we are the great grocery cart.”

We lay inside this country–separate, culturally bound, no longer searching for commonality, but instead, faking a reverence for each other’s cultural inclinations, while privately looking down on each other for having them.

It is a cunning spirit that gradually welcomes segregation and eventually invites violence.

Will G-Pop’s children become aware of this, or buy into the ridiculous notion that we’re actually involved in culture conflicts, which can be alleviated by more education and understanding of our differences?

Going back those many thousands of years, if the selfish tribe which found the excellent source of food had simply said to themselves, “This other tribe is also hungry and there’s plenty for everyone,” then how many wars, executions and genocides could have been avoided?

The source of evil is the cunning notion that if I can convince you that you’re not quite as good as me, I can relegate you to a position where I can move you anywhere I want.

Until we become the great melting pot again, we will struggle in alienation which ironically seems to be feeding tolerance, but actually is just a cunning way to starve people of equality.

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Dear Man/Dear Woman: A Noteworthy Conversation … January 9th, 2016


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Dear Man Dear Woman

 

Dear Man: Why didn’t you tell me you were sick? I had to find it out from Mike. Would it have killed you to share?

 

Dear Woman: Mike should have kept his mouth shut. It’s not a big deal. I just didn’t want to tell you and have you fuss over me.

 

Dear Man: Fuss? What do you mean by fuss? Here’s something you have to understand. Being concerned for someone else is not fuss. It’s called love.

 

Dear Woman: Yes, but you overdo it. You start feeling my head for a temperature. I especially hate it when you conjecture on what the problem might be or how I need to take care of myself better. You’re just too emotional.

 

Dear Man: I’m too emotional? Are you kidding? You remember the last time you had a cold? Eight o’clock at night–you asked me if I would go down to Porky Bob’s Barbecue and get you some ribs because they would “make you feel better.” If I remember correctly, you did this with a tilted head, seeking pity, and a tear in your eye.

 

Dear Woman: The sauce is tangy. It burns my throat in a way that makes it heal up. Anyway, that’s not emotional. That’s just expressing my feelings.

 

Dear Man: Let me stop right here. Apparently I have a lot to learn. What is the difference between expressing your feelings and being emotional? Because last week when you were watching the football game, screaming at the TV set because the referees were cheating, and then, when the team lost, you cursed and broke down in tears… Well, I guess what I want to ask is, was that expressing your feelings or being emotional?

 

Dear Woman: Yes, I did all that. But not because I saw a little bird with a broken wing on television and I started to dribble tears because it was so hurt, but cute.

 

Dear Man: So what I’m picking up from you is that if you’re emotional, it’s just a natural expression of feelings. But if I’m expressing my feelings on an issue or situation, it’s because I’m naturally over-emotional.

 

Dear Woman: It’s a known fact that women are more emotional than men.

 

Dear Man: Known by whom? Let me ask you some questions. Can you tell me five women who have ever gotten so emotional and angry that they declared war, went off and killed people?

 

Dear Woman: That’s called patriotism. That’s passion. A devotion to your country.

 

Dear Man: Well, I can see that you have an answer for everything. Are you trying to maintain that whatever I feel is emotional and silly, and whatever you feel is human and good? Because let me clue you in–we’re both human. As human beings, if we don’t have emotion, they classify it as mental illness. We both express those feelings at different times, in what some folks watching might call extreme ways. But if it’s real to us, it’s real.

 

Dear Woman: So you don’t think women are more emotional than men?

 

Dear Man: No, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you being emotional, whereas you portray that when I have concerns and feel happy or sad, it’s because I’m going through some “time of the month” or tirade against the male of the species.

 

Dear Woman: You realize, nobody agrees with you.

 

Dear Man: No, I realize that everybody agrees with me, but they’ve bought into the idea that women are more emotional and men are more controlled. Yet it’s difficult to find a female serial killer, a woman who commits genocide, or a chick who has started her own Ku Klux Klan.

 

Dear Woman: So what are you saying? Are you saying that men and women are equally emotional?

 

Dear Man: I am saying that without emotion we’re not human. Maybe men and women have different interests which ignite their emotions. But in the long run, every person emotes, or they die inside.

 

Dear Woman: I’m a little sick. I should have told you, but honestly, when I tell you, because I’m kind of a baby about it, and you’re willing to mother me, it makes me feel real stupid later on, though I enjoy the sympathy in the moment.

 

Dear Man: That was beautifully stated and I totally understand. Do you think we could do it that way the next time?

 

Dear Woman: If I remember.

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Jesonian: Before Abraham… July 27, 2014


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The words infuriated the crowd.

They were so incensed by the sentiment expressed that they picked up stones to hurl in his direction to silence the blasphemy.

It was just five words.

“Before Abraham was, I am.”

Yet even today, theologians miss the significance and impact of the statement. With one brief “tweet,” Jesus eliminated over two thousand years of religious struggle, spiritual depravity, social reclusiveness and abiding ignorance.

He claimed that his thoughts, his spirit and his being existed before Abraham, which means he was around before Buddha, Socrates, Confucius, a multitude of Caesars, Alexander the Great, Mohammed, Joseph Smith and a myriad of prophetic sorts and conquering kings who felt they possessed the magical key to human victory.

The power of the Jesonian lifestyle is that we do not claim Abraham as our father, but instead, honor the teachings of one who preceded Abraham. This enables us to love both our Jewish and Muslim brothers and sisters without favoritism.

For the teachings of Jesus–what we call the Jesonian–are very simple.

1. We are heart, soul, mind and strength.

2. In the matters of the heart, try to tell the truth. Any detours from honesty always end up back at the truth, with us exhausted and humiliated.

3. In the realm of spirituality, no one is better than anyone else. Love your neighbor as yourself. For after all, it’s very difficult to be angry with someone who takes just as good care of you as they do their own three square feet.

4. How about the mind? Because we are going to need to learn to do many things, it is necessary to establish the idea of going the second mile. Exceed expectation. Don’t be self-condemning, but also, be self-aware enough to know that there’s always more to learn and attain.

5. How about our body? Very simply, what a person sows, that shall he also reap. It is the wise human being who considers the consequence while becoming excited about the opportunity.

Can you imagine how much religious nonsense, superstition, self-destruction and genocide we could have avoided if we had caught Jesus before Abraham?

It is the power of the Gospel.

It’s not that we don’t love the people of other religions; it’s just that the Jesonian does not believe that we need an Abraham–or any other mediator–to reach God. 

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I’m Looking For… A Thoughtful Thinker February 2, 2013


Thinker

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Laying on the table in front of me are two pictures. One is a grainy black-and-white photograph of the decaying skeletal human remains discovered in Auschwitz at the end of World War II–evidence of the genocide perpetrated by Hitler and his henchmen, to eliminate Jews, homosexuals, gypsies and other folks deemed undesirable.

The other picture is a glorious color photo of the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, complete with Michelangelo’s rendition of God and man touching hands, creating an eternal link.

The two photos share very little in common–actually, only one definite similarity. Both of them were conceived in the brain of a human being. One, a dastardly mutilation of mercy and concern, often passed off as satanic intervention; the other, a glorious connection between the spirit of man and the Spirit of God, generating the miracle of creativity.

What’s the difference? After all, we are constantly talking about the power of knowledge without taking into consideration that there are two Garden of Eden varieties: the knowledge of good and the knowledge of evil.

It would be difficult to make a case that our generation is stupid. We may be the most educated race to ever walk the face of the earth. But the problem with thinking is that if it isn’t thoughtful, it can quickly become crude, self-involved and even dangerous, finding itself spewed from the darker regions.

Yes, to be a thinker is only good if you’re thoughtful. If the goal of receiving information and learning better ways is to use that tool of comprehension to enrich your own life and the lives of others, then the acquisition of knowledge transforms into wisdom. What is the turning point to change a mere human brain into an instrument of thoughtfulness?

1. I have what I need. Every nasty inclination occurs because we convince ourselves that we are cheated, short-changed or ignored. Somewhere along the line, in that glorious gray matter located in our cranium, we need to settle the score and understand that what we presently are working with is our treasure. It is when we begin to believe that we need more that we hatch plans to steal it from others.

2. I will use what I have. Even though laziness is a dangerous vice, when you team it with optimism, it becomes the breeding ground for the kind of thinking that makes us believe we deserve something without ever using our stockpile. One of the questions I ask myself monthly as I analyze my own progress is, “Am I using what I have instead of awaiting a shipment of supplies?” Nothing creates frustration any quicker than believing that opportunity is right around the corner rather than walking over and answering the door which is already being knocked upon.

3. I will daily invite God to come along on my journey. I am not going to be so ridiculous as to believe that He is in control of my life when He’s made it quite clear that He has granted me complete free will. I also will not be so stupid as to merely have a worship experience with Him in a religious sense without welcoming the wisdom of His spirit and the knowledge of the natural order into my decision-making process. Somewhere along the line, if you can stop being religious, you might actually get the chance to meet God. Likewise, if you’re an atheist, it’s going to be easier to garner information from nature–God’s workbench. I think it is impossible for human beings to be thoughtful until they stop needing more, but instead, use what they have and include God in their daily activities.

Without this, our brains become greedy, envious, lack-luster and we contend that we are the masters of our own fate, without having to give an account to anyone else of our deeds. I will go so far as to say that if Adolph Hitler had followed these three principles, it would have been impossible for him to lay a single filthy hand on any member of the Jewish community.

Too much thinking–not enough thoughtfulness.

My gift to you is to never use my brain without first connecting it to my more thoughtful nature. In so doing, I can tap the knowledge of good … and bypass the evil.

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Moratorium… December 18, 2012


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It worked with littering.

There was a time in our society when it was commonplace to dump your trash exactly where you were, even if it was on the street. It sounds bizarre today, but it’s true. Our country was becoming overridden with all sorts of teeming refuse. So what did we do?

We made it unpopular to litter.crying Indian

In like manner, there was a season in our history when being prejudiced against people with color in their skin was not only deemed normal, but rational. We mock that kind of bigotry in this day and age. But how did we change it? We made hating people of different color stupid.

Take the case of abortion. There are not nearly as many abortions as there were at one time. I attribute that drop in the number of terminated pregnancies to a very simple statement that was uttered about two decades ago. It was a slogan which stated that “abortion should be legal, but rare.”

We are a people of great intuition when we actually decide to call out our foolishness instead of hiding behind civil liberties, individual choices, state’s rights and fear of admitting our wrongs. Here are some easy statements:

  • Littering isn’t good because it makes a mess.
  • Bigotry is a negative force because it alienates people who could be productive.
  • Abortion needs to be guided in such a manner that human life is given the greatest respect possible.

Likewise, guns and violence need to be showcased for what they truly are and not what they are glamorized to be in order to generate the next blockbuster or promote an arcane freedom that is no longer useful to the common man.

I am declaring a moratorium.

For those of you who do not know what a moratorium is, it is a cease and desist order from my soul to the world around me, to proclaim that I will no longer indulge in a certain activity.

And what is that activity? Viewing, playing around with or musing over violence against human beings.

For instance, if we treated the car the same way as the gun, we would raise our children to believe that when they received their driver’s license, they should go out and drive as fast as they could, hit as many people as possible and dramatically crash into the side of a wall, leaping from the vehicle, giggling over surviving the ordeal.

After all, we don’t show guns being used to hunt deer. Nobody’s making a movie about the great fun one has at a target range. There are no documentaries presently being filmed about the various ways to clean a gun to make it look more presentable or work better. Every depiction of the gun in entertainment, news reports, warfare and even literature shows it as an implement to destroy, mutilate and murder human flesh.

Even within my own circle of friends and family, there are people who enjoy shows like Boardwalk Empire, Breaking Bad, True Blood, Dexter, CSI and other programming for which sole purpose is to show the decapitation, destruction and decimation of the human body. I know people who would insist they are peace-loving individuals who sit for hours with a video game, becoming mass murderers via a push of the button.

It’s time for a moratorium How would you enact that? I plan on fasting violence. I have no intentions of watching  shows that are geared to expelling blood from the body of human beings to kill them off for the purpose of entertainment. I am declaring it disgusting. I am tired of having our society littered with the belief that human beings are cattle which can be slaughtered and turned into hamburger Mine will be a three-step process:

  1.  Fast violence. Stop watching death and destruction.
  2. Cease to accept violence as legitimate entertainment, but rather, proclaim it to be what it is: genocide pornography.
  3. Confront those who continue to watch it and ask them for their motivation.

I challenge my own children to join me in this endeavor. We cannot sit around and pretend we are appalled by what happend in our country as our children were gunned down in their school, and then pop in video games and movies that duplicate the same insane butchery.

I am not connoting that limiting violence in entertainment will eliminate these heinous acts. I am just saying that as sane people, when it is in our power to address a portion of the problem simply by dispelling the barbarian actions and irresponsible presentation of bloodshed, that we have a duty to stop littering our own minds and cease to encourage others who are weaker in spirit and character, to be tempted by the visions.

Violence is wrong. If you’ve ever been in a room when somebody cut their finger while dicing onions and you saw the horror on their face over a simple one-inch nick, you will grasp exactly how unnatural it truly feels for blood to leave our bodies.

So how can you watch the foul play as blood is sprayed everywhere across the screen, and think you’re doing anything but promoting a piece of insanity which will certainly eventually have to be tempered–or will be duplicated by the weak-minded.

I am declaring a moratorium. Today is my birthday and I am taking the license as a human being of maturity and experience to declare that I, for one, am going to fast violence. You want a place to begin? There you go.

And I will tell you that if enough people do this, entertainment will change, society will shift and gun use will be legal, but rare.

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Since I Am Not… May 12, 2012


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No, I am not a Republican. I have many friends who are. Likewise, I am not a Democrat–although I am honored with an equal number of comrades from that camp. I just don’t believe that the discoveries we make as human beings can be limited to one single point of view.

I realized many years ago that as an earth creature, I, as Jesus said, am bestowed with heart, soul, mind and strength. Each one of the political parties, in some way, shape or form, tries to lessen the effects of one or more of those four attributes of the human experience. It is not malicious–it’s just the way the traditions, platforms, platitudes and practices of their particular organization has viewed things over the years.

Since I am a heart (emotions), soul (spiritual), mind (intelligence) and strength (a body), I have no difficulty understanding that this nation we live in has basically the same four parts. So I will tell you how I view my patriotism and you can see what you think about it. I am not trying to evangelize or even promote my ideas. It’s just that I do not see them at work in the political parties–they are too busy trying to maintain distinctions between each other, and therefore, alienation from each other.

The heart of America, to me, is our sense of good cheer and fair play. This is what sets us apart from the rest of the world, which often stumbles on humor and compassion instead of pursuing it. When the United States can’t laugh at itself and fails to have a merciful attitude towards those in need, we’re no different from any other country. The heart of America is our good cheer and fair play. We have comedy clubs so we can go and celebrate that experience. We have even learned to laugh to escape the excesses of pain. What is missing from the parties is a sense of humor about themselves and fair play towards each other. I will not participate. The heart of America is good cheer and fair play–and when we become overly cranky or selfish, we just suck.

The soul of America is our deep, abiding belief that “NoOne is better than anyone else.” Honestly, we have abandoned it many times in order to target specific groups out of prejudice. But we are the only country in the world that is a bastion for the idea that “NoOne is better than anyone else.” This is why I have made that statement my slogan for my touring in 2012. I am often bemused when I share it in front of audience members and the first response is silence, as the concept assimilates into their sensibilities, and they try to figure out if they actually believe it or not. There is no doubt that Hitler and his regime would still rule the world if he had actually believed that “NoOne is better than anyone else.” What brought him down was not a lack of power or technology, but rather, his incessant bigotry, which caused him to be paranoid towards those who worked around him, making him suspicious of their motives, and prompted him to commit genocide on an entire race of people. We should take heed. We are a nation of immigrants, Therefore, we cannot piously discuss how we’re going to close our borders to the rest of the world. Obviously, we cannot have a policy of allowing people to come into the country without some sort of procedure–but the answer to the question has to contain the initial agreement that “NoOne is better than anyone else.” It is our soul–and when we start competing with each other for supremacy, we lose any part of God that may have been with us at our founding.

The mind of this nation, in my opinion, is the Bill of Rights. How ingenious it was of those who ratified the Constitution to immediately realize that the main danger in interpreting the document would be to limit personal freedoms to gain corporate improvement. The Bill of Rights is a reminder that the United States is primarily a country that extols freedom above all else. Neither political party is willing to accept the Bill of Rights in its entirety. Each one of them wants to limit the power of the individual to make choices  for him or herself.

And finally, the strength of our country is our creativity. We don’t have a history of discussing ideas, but rather, with experimenting and implementing them, and letting them evolve until they become functioning parts of our system. When you take away creativity in medical research, you end up with miles and miles of red tape instead of possibilities for healing for those who are struggling with disease. When you take away creativity from government, we pass laws that are a mere shadow of what was actually needed to generate change. When you take away creativity from the arts, you become a nation which culls through the repertoire of previous eras to try to make the latest revival of something that’s already been done. And when you take creativity away from spirituality, you end up with a religion that clumsily interferes in people’s lives instead of enhancing them. We built this nation through creativity and we will destroy it if we begin to believe that we have enough.

So, as you can see, that’s why I am unable to become a Republican or a Democrat. Neither party will hold these four principles as sacrosanct, or even recognize their importance.

But it is why I love this country.

  • We have a heart of fair play and good cheer.
  • At our soul is the consecrated notion that “NoOne is better than anyone else.”
  • We have a mind that puts a Bill of Rights–freedom of the individual–before corporate greed or political avarice.
  • And we have a strength that is based on building a reputation through our creativity instead of force of might.

My contention is that if we return to these principles, we can also return to a sense of mission that gives us place in this world as “a city set on a hill for all to see.”

So let me know what you think. But please do not bore me with false claim that any of the political parties “hold these truths to be self-evident.” I learned a long time ago that you cannot establish a philosophy merely based upon how you disagree with your opponent. In a matter of seconds, I can give you three things that the Democrats have done that I agree with and three things the Republicans have done that I likewise concur over. I can also give you long lists where I oppose both of them.

America has a heart, a soul, a mind and a strength–just like me. Because after all, America is me.

  

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