Cracked 5 … August 21st, 2018

---

Jonathots Daily Blog

(3771)

Reasons Given for Not Attending Church

 

A. Too much gluten in the communion wafer

 

B. Don’t like heaven, nor favor hell

 

C. PEW-trification

 

D. Allergic to sermons

 

E. The choir is white–REALLY white.

 

 

The producers of jonathots would humbly request a yearly subscription donation for this wonderful, inspirational opportunity

 

Dudley … June 15th, 2017

 Jonathots Daily Blog

(3338)

DUDLEY

The producers of jonathots would humbly request a yearly subscription donation of $10 for this inspirational opportunity

Cracked 5 … September 6th, 2016

 Jonathots Daily Blog

(3056)

Things I Encountered On My Drive From Adrian to Howell, Michigan

A.  A convenience store advertising “Fresh Milk” (was fresh necessary??)

 

B.  A sign: “Watch Out For Buggies” (obviously a state-specific sport)

 

C.  Ypsilanti (I think the founder probably meant “Oopsilanti”)

 

D.  A township (which was neither a village nor a boat)

 

E.  A wolverine racing a spartan to get a buckeye

 

Jonathan’s Latest Book Release!

PoHymn: A Rustling in the Stagnant

Click here to get your copy now!

 

 

Cracked 5 … August 30th, 2016

 Jonathots Daily Blog

(3049)

Things That Are Easy to Forget to Pick Up at the Grocery Store

A. Tooth cream (the paste makes you gag)

 

B. Eucalyptus leaves soaked in Jakarta Vinegar, for the mustard poultice used on your gout

 

C. Organically nurtured snails

 

D. Gluten fortified Sugar Smacks with extra preservatives and double Yellow Dye 8

 

E. That “do-it-yourself tooth-filling kit” with raspberry-coated Novocaine pellets

 

Jonathan’s Latest Book Release!

PoHymn: A Rustling in the Stagnant

Click here to get your copy now!