Dear Man/Dear Woman: A Noteworthy Conversation … April 2nd, 2016

 Jonathots Daily Blog

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Dear Woman: Why aren’t you dressed?

Dear Man: I am dressed.

Dear Woman: I mean dressed for church.

Dear Man: Because I’m not going.

Dear Woman: Why?

Dear Man: Because I don’t want to.

Dear Woman: I wish you had told me. I could be snoozin’.

Dear Man: You should go.

Dear Woman: Why should I go?

Dear Man: Because it’s your place.

Dear Woman: I don’t even know what that means.

Dear Man: It means I think that church is for men and against women. Sometimes I just get tired of it.

Dear Woman: I don’t think that. I believe God loves all of us.

Dear Man: God’s not the problem. And Jesus is a great salesman for the cause. It’s the book that bothers me.

Dear Woman: The Bible?

Dear Man: Exactly. The book is not kind to women. It’s filled with innuendo, it’s often condescending and it promotes…well, it promotes what I call “the nasty nonsense.”

Dear Woman: You really must tell me what that means.

Dear Man: Okay. Here it is. God creates man so man serves God. God creates woman to be ruled over by man. Woman, a secondary creation, has the responsibility to tend to the kids. And the kids…well, they’re supposed to remain quiet.

Dear Woman: I don’t believe that.

Dear Man: I don’t believe it, either. But the book is used by people who are stuck in an ancient time zone, promoting the inferiority of women and the predominance of men.

Dear Woman: Not the whole Bible.

Dear Man: I get that. But saying that the Bible does not place woman in a subjected position is similar to insisting that “Gone With the Wind” is not about slavery because Scarlett O’Hara dresses nicely.

Dear Woman: So you throw the whole thing out because of “the nasty nonsense?”

Dear Man: No, but I just get tired of it. Even at our church–we have a female pastor. But the other ministers in town don’t respect her. There are men in the congregation who don’t consider her to be the shepherd of the flock. It’s because they have these verses in the Bible that make them feel superior to a woman who actually has much more understanding than they do.

Dear Woman: So how does it help for you to stay away from church?

Dear Man: I just get tired of pretending. I get tired of being hypocritical. They read verses I don’t believe in and don’t agree with. And I’m supposed to “amen” and keep quiet because women “are to be silent in the church.”

Dear Woman: Our church doesn’t believe that.

Dear Man: But our church doesn’t fight that, deny that and stand against it.

Dear Woman: So let me play devil’s advocate. What do you think those verses mean, that talk about a woman’s position in relation to a man?

Dear Man: I think they were written by inspired men who had not yet freed themselves of all their lack of inspiration.

Dear Woman: So they just threw it in?

Dear Man: Yeah, basically.

Dear Woman: So let’s make a deal. Since you know I don’t feel that way, why don’t we go to church together and be the contradiction?

Dear Man: Okay. If you’ll let me take you out to brunch afterwards.

 

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God for Dummies … March 21, 2012

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There are some people who read the Bible who have never read anything else. There are those individuals who read the Bible mainly to find contradictions and pieces of nastiness to confirm their own lack of belief. There are some who peruse the volume for moments of comfort and reassurance. And there are a handful who use it as a way to express their supremacy over assumed less fortunate infidels.

May I make something clear? The Bible is not a book about God. Matter of fact, it may be one of the most inefficient places to actually find God–unless you bring a heart that really wants to dig up the truth. The Bible is a six thousand-year journey, chronicling what men and women have thought about God in their present moment, commencing with Job, warts and all, and ending with John on the Isle of Patmos, having a funky vision.

So please do not think you can hand a Bible over to someone and assume you have done a magnificent job of leading him or her to God. If you will allow me, let me present God for Dummies.

The first thing I would suggest to anyone who wants to read the Bible and truly understand it, is that every time you come across the word “God” or “Jehovah“ or capital H for He, just insert the word “Love.” If after doing this, you discover that the passage doesn’t make sense–that love not could actually have performed the deed–then you have uncovered a juncture of time when people were evolving towards understanding instead of dwelling there.

For instance, “For Love so loved the world that Love gave His only begotten son.” You see? That makes sense.

It all makes sense as long as we have an updated definition of love. Love has three parts:

1. Committment. I am here and I’m not leaving, even if you have an ugly day.

2. Affection. I feel a connection with you and it has tenderized my heart to reach out and love you; and all my love does come with a hug.

3. And finally, honesty. If I see you doing something that is hurting you or destroying you, I will step in and try to help you get away from this piece of insanity. You see, if you don’t add honesty in, it’s not really love.

So I believe that God is committed to me. “Nothing can separate me from the love of Love (God).”

And I believe that He has great affection for me. “And Love (God) looked on what Love (He) had created in man and woman and said that it was good.”

But I also believe that God comes along and challenges me when I’m doing something stupid that is going to destroy my human experience. “And Love (God) chastises those Love (He) loves.”

So likewise, when you run across people who try to make God ignorant because He hates knowledge, or bigoted because He favors Jews over Gentiles, or mean because Sodom and Gomorrah had too many “queens,” or strict because the Ten Commandments weren’t suggestions after all, or vengeful–returning on a big, white pony to judge the quick and the dead and cast “‘dem bad boys into outer darkness” … you might just want to stop and realize that if He possessed any of those particular attributes, we all would literally be in a helluva lot of trouble.

Yes, in our understanding of God for Dummies, we must recognize that if a Supreme Being is picky at all, our chance for any kind of acceptance is dim. And honestly, do you really want to go and spend eternity with someone who kills little children, destroys whole races of people and thinks that certain clumps of humanity are abominations to Him and on top of that–doesn’t like shell-fish?

Sounds like a drag to me.

So as much as the fundamentalists would object to the fact that God is just love, I present to you that if He’s any other derivation, He is completely beyond our grasp or embrace. And therefore–what is the point?

Because if you think you’re reading the Bible and finding God, you are similar to someone who has completed Gone with the Wind and thinks they understand the Civil War, or someone who finished the Wizard of Oz and believes he is prepared to predict tornadoes.

God for Dummies is simple. When you see His name, insert “Love” in its place. If the conclusion of what is stated about Him in that particular passage doesn’t fall under the categories of commitment, affection or honesty, then let’s be candid–the writer just had a bad day.

Is it too child-like? Absolutely. I have never seen the process of complication transform any situation to a better status. Feel free to continue to read the Bible as long as you substitute the word “Love” every time you see “God.” It is not difficult to do and it will probably cause you to understand that certain verses, although important to the transition of discovery, have become obsolete–to be replaced by others that followed later with more understanding. Is the Bible divinely inspired? Count on it–because love inspires us on to greater realization, even when we’re going through dumb phases.

God for Dummies–just put “Love” where “God” is. For after all, even atheists need love.

And remember, where it doesn’t fit into being committed, affectionate and honest … just smile and turn the page.

**************

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Sitting One

 I died today. 

I didn’t expect it to happen.  Then again, I did—well, not really.

No, I certainly didn’t expect it.

I’ve had moments of clarity in my life.  Amazingly enough, many of them were in the midst of a dream. For a brief second I would know the meaning of life or the missing treatment to cure cancer.  And then as quickly as it popped into my mind it was gone. I really don’t recollect dying.  Just this unbelievable sense of clear headedness—like walking into a room newly painted and knowing by the odor and brightness that the color on the wall is so splattering new that you should be careful not to touch it for fear of smearing the design. The greatest revelation of all? 

Twenty-five miles in the sky time ceases to exist.

The planet Pluto takes two hundred and forty-eight years to circle the sun. It doesn’t give a damn. 

The day of my death was the day I became free of the only burden I really ever had.  TIME.

Useless.

Time is fussy.  Time is worry. 

Time is fear.  Time is the culprit causing human-types to recoil from pending generosity. 

There just was never enough time. 

Time would not allow it.  Remember—“if time permits …”

Why if time permits?  Why not if I permit?  Why not if I dream?  Why not if I want?  Why does time get to dictate to me my passage? 

It was time that robbed me of my soulful nature.    It was time that convinced me that my selfishness was needed. 

I didn’t die. The clock in me died, leaving spirit to tick on.  

So why don’t we see the farce of time?  Why do we allow ourselves to fall under the power of the cruel despot?  Yes, time is a relentless master—very little wage for much demand.

I died today. 

Actually … a piece of time named after me was cast away.