Sit Down Comedy … January 17th, 2020

Jonathots Daily Blog

(4292)

Sit Down Comedy

There are many ways to win the immediate approval of an audience.

You can:

  • Compliment their city.
  • Tell them how beautiful they look.
  • Inform them you have two children, but parenting seems to “escape you.”
  • Say “God bless America.”
  • Make sure they know you support the troops.
  • Tell them how much you love your wife, and you know that she’s “the boss.”
  • And of course, you can always call them exceptional.

Or you can say “America is exceptional.”

Most of these methods work real well because they feed on a common misconception: We’re happier when someone panders to us. Actually, in the long run we’re happier when someone alerts us to our obvious flaws.

I, for one, have no problem saying that America is exceptional as long as we determine the definition of “exceptional.” At the heart of the word is another word, which is “except.”

Except means to leave something out, to delete or to rid yourself of it—making sure it is not attached to you in any way, shape or form.

Exceptional is when you live around “crazy” but insist on removing that temptation from your mission.

To be exceptional, you have to accept what needs to be excepted.

If you don’t, you just end up being mediocre.

I agree that America has flirted with being exceptional. There have been times when we have made a stand as a nation—against barbarism, fanaticism and bigotry.

Then again, there are times when we stood in line to imitate the insanity of the world around us.

But let us presume that we actually want to be exceptional.

Then we must realize that we can only have freedom of speech when those words do not attack the freedom of another.

We can worship—but we have no right whatsoever to hate people. We must decide that hating people, disincluding people and despising people has no religious profundity.

If we’re going to be exceptional, we have to state loud and clear that it’s okay to be a politician—except you can’t lie.

You can be a parent–except you can’t be a hypocrite.

You can be a man–except you can’t hurt women.

You can be a woman–except you can’t hate men.

You can be in business–except you can’t cheat your customers or fail to take care of your employees.

If we truly want to be an exceptional nation, we must accept what we have to except from our conduct.

You can be a leader, except you must not act like a master.

You can be intelligent, except you must use it and therefore prove it.

Let’s work on being exceptional.

Let’s find out what is causing this world to be so uncertain and filled with tribulation and use our good cheer to overcome that imbalance by being the exception, and therefore becoming exceptional.

Truly, may the exception prove the rule.

The B. S. M. G. Report


Jonathots Daily Blog

(4273)

As we depart this year

Let us leave behind some fear

2019 certainly weathered us with its conditions.

For we begin to believe that we are so susceptible to the climate of our times that it is beyond our control.

BAD

Too dry.

Yes, that was the problem this year.

In the pursuit of goals, or maybe even high ideals, we lost our humanity and became schoolmasters, instructing one another, incapable of maintaining a sense of humor about our own frailty.

Everything got really serious.

Even interactions we once took for granted—such as the give and take that happens between men and women in the attempt to discover romance and propagate our species—was isolated into tiny danger zones, so that eventually it just became safer not to talk to one another.

Our politicians are as dry as dust. One group hates poor people and the other despises the rich. Unfortunately, both parties believe themselves to be the messengers of truth.

We need to listen to the Earth.

We need to understand our place.

And once we find our place, rather than falling into a sand dune and suffocating, we need to uncover good cheer.

Good cheer is the by-product of a simple principle:

Since I am not the first person this has ever happened to, there apparently is a solution, or at least a reprieve, so while pursuing this, I will keep myself free from all despair.

We are presently too dry. It’s a bad thing.

SAD

Then again, there are times when we seem too wet.

Soppy, sappy and silly.

We’ve begun to believe that things that don’t matter at all have great significance and consecration. And of course, we continue to contend that human sexuality is tied into the divine workings of angels instead of the pleasurable grunting and groaning of humans who are doing their best impersonations of Brother Gorilla and Sister Chimpanzee.

We listen to elaborate stories that people share to draw tears to our eyes, so that we will favor them in a singing contest.

The liberals are worried about the children and poverty and the mistreatment of the persecuted masses while the conservatives shed many tears over the loss of values, family and morality.

I find myself constantly soaked with the false emotion of those who are either bitching their way through life or have fallen apart and don’t seem to be able to be put back together again.

MAD

A case can be made that our whole society has become too hot. With the ability to go from zero to sixty degrees of viral intensity over the smallest matters, it now seems that our worst enemy is our own tongue, which lashes out without ever considering that those we attack might just pull out an automatic weapon and blow our heads off.

I find that temper is fed by two evils:

1. Pride in oneself

2. Pride in one’s God.

When these two are put together, intolerance is the result, which can easily lead to terrorism.

We need to turn down the heat.

Neither you nor I are as good as we think we are, and neither you nor I can guarantee God’s will.

So relax.

Sometimes things need to play out—and when they do, if you have kept your mind from flaming, you might be glad you when you don’t burn up.

GLAD

I guess the old-time phrase was “chill out.” Is it still around?

The reason church people are able to tolerate Christianity is that it’s been a long time since they’ve read the Gospels.

Merely standing in front of a congregation of believers, reading the Sermon on the Mount and offering a cursory explanation would empty the sanctuary within a month.

We are way too concerned about having our opinions taken into consideration. The idea that our conjectures don’t matter would tear at the fabric of an egomaniacal need to be valuable.

So we should chill out—if we can remember what that means.

It was best stated by an itinerant preacher thousands of years ago, who gave a three-word philosophical insight for life on Earth:

Take no thought.

He then produced a list of things we don’t need to think about, which included most of our ego-driven demands.

He closed it out by saying, “Take no thought for tomorrow, for today has enough.”

The greatest thing that you and I can do to make 2020 a perfect vision is to stop thinking about so much.

The really important shit lights up, letting you know when it needs consideration.

Everything else is dim, dull and has been around since Methuselah—whoever in the hell he is.

The B. S. M. G. Report


Jonathots Daily Blog

(4246)

Refusing to ever rest

From seeking what is best

BAD

You are not worthy of great opportunity unless you’ve counted the cost and decided you know how to lose.

Someone will lose.

Unlike what your third-grade teacher told you, not all of us are winners.

I saw something bad yesterday. Three or four grown men—college football coaches—turned into whiny, bitchy babies because their teams lost, and the reporters asked them questions they did not want to answer.

I’m sorry, gentlemen. You don’t get to do that. The minute you start taking millions of dollars in salary for running a football team, you lose all privilege of being snotty. If you can’t give a civil answer, cancel the press conference. Please, do not teach the younger generation that it’s perfectly acceptable to be so disappointed that you pour your poison out on everyone around you.

Play to win. Lose and survive.

That’s how it works.

SAD

Great full.

I thought it was a little sad this year that Thanksgiving was not nearly as punctuated with true gratitude as I have seen in the past. Maybe it was just me—perhaps I was at the wrong places. Could I have watched the bogus television shows?

Yet the message I heard was, “It is great that we are full.

Anybody can smile when their belly is satisfied, their house is warm and they’re doing good on their job.

Maybe it’s true that none of us learn how to be grateful until one or more of our wishes is absent and we still have to press on.

Yes, I think that’s it.

Gratitude is always better expressed by the souls who offer their appreciation, and those around them wonder how they can be so happy with so little.

MAD

I heard it again.

Somebody told me they have “faith in their doctor.”

I know why they said this. Medicine portrays itself as a religion. Everything is white, pristine and there are all sorts of gadgets, tons of explanations, and enough pomp and circumstance to march the Pope into the Vatican thirty times.

I don’t know why we can’t just deal with the truth:

Doctors and nurses are fabulous, and also ignorant.

  • We’re still doing more cutting than curing.
  • We still prescribe more medication than offer solutions.
  • We are still wrong much too often.

For instance, medicine has killed tens of thousands of people through opiate addiction and the misapplication of painkillers.

Everyone knows there are more infections in a hospital than there are in your kid’s sandbox.

I’m not asking the medical field to be diminished, nor am I criticizing them.

I am demanding some needful humility.

In the 1790’s, when doctors were treating President George Washington for pneumonia and they bled him with leeches, they were certainly convinced they were giving him expert treatment, and probably discussed among themselves how this particular breed of leech was ground-breaking.

All the chatter did not change the matter. And the matter was, their treatment was counterproductive. They had to learn their way out of it.

I think it’s important to go to the doctor and get checked over as best you can—as long as you realize that part of what you’ll experience is somewhat experimental, making you a temporary guinea pig.

So oink-oink. And let us encourage these people of science to grow instead of crow.

GLAD

I believe I saw it on a YouTube.

It was a little boy, about nine. So maybe not so little, but still young.

He was asked a question in his classroom by a teacher.

“What do you want your life to be?”

They filmed a couple of students talking about money, happiness, marriage, cars and such.

Then they came to this young man. It was as if he was suddenly possessed by an angel from heaven. He explained, “Life doesn’t show up fixed. You gotta put it together.”

I laughed and broke out in tears all at the same time.

Do any of us really believe that?

Even though the boy’s words were eternal, can we realize how powerful this idea truly is?

It makes me glad there is one small member of the human race out there who has it right. Maybe he’ll infect us. Here’s what we need to learn:

Inhale life. Exhale good cheer.

Then repeat the process.

Sit Down Comedy … November 29th, 2019

Jonathots Daily Blog

(4243)

Sit Down Comedy

I thought I would sit down and talk to you dear hearts about the It’s Fits. There are three of them.

It is a trio of common phrases uttered to relieve pressure, take away criticism and often to become overly optimistic.

If we begin to believe that these “it’s” have any capacity whatsoever to bring solution, we will certainly find ourselves in fits.

1. “It’s not fair.”

Whining is never attractive. We are completely repulsed by the fussy, teary and defeated profiles of others.

“It’s not fair” is like twirling around in every direction and pointing a finger at all the culprits who have prevented you from receiving your best.

Could it be your children? Maybe it’s your wife plotting. Your husband is nothing but a barking dog. Your company is insensitive to the needs of its employees. Or there must not be a God, because if there were a God, He would never have allowed this atrocity to occur.

Because we’ve been convinced that nurturing one another is the way to say “I love you,” we have babied all the human “house plants” into environments where they cannot stand to actually live outdoors in the sun.

Endurance

This word is necessary for human life: Without endurance, we give up, begin to blame others and become erratically annoying.

The truth is, it may not be fair, but it is learnable. The Earth has its ways and if you study them, you can change your whiny to win.

2. “It’s needing more time.”

Failure arrives to inform us that our direction is not favorable, but instead of learning from the correction, we decide that if more time were given—using the same plan—things would most certainly improve.

Sometimes the Earth speaks.

That’s why we need this second phrase in our journey:

Common sense

In other words, if it didn’t work, it didn’t work. Pressing harder or selling more doesn’t change anything.

The Earth is good to us by telling us quickly when something is shitty.

3. “It’s not my fault.”

Everyone has been in a meeting where a failure is dissected—all participants slicing at one another to be guilt free, punctuating their summary by saying, “It’s not my fault.”

Actually, the more quickly you take responsibility for your part in the failure, the sooner the pain goes away and the healing begins.

It leads us to a third word:

Responsibility

An irresponsible person is unstable in all his or her ways. Ultimately, such a person can get nothing accomplished.

So I realize you want to nurture your husband, your wife, your children and your closest friends, but the best way to do this is to encourage their endurance instead of accepting their excuses.

It is to praise their common sense instead of standing watch while they continue to hit their heads against the walls.

And finally, it is to demand responsibility instead of allowing people to slither away like snakes in the grass to hide in their holes.

  • It’s not fair.
  • It’s needing more time.
  • It’s not my fault.

These are the “It’s Fits”—which keep each one of us from the endurance, common sense and responsibility that allow the second go-round to be drenched in good cheer and fueled by wisdom.

 

 


Subscribe to Jonathan’s Weekly Podcast


 

1 Thing You Can Do That Always Works–Any Day, Any Way and Any Time

Find a Way to Make Fun of Yourself

Yes—in a good-natured, good-hearted and jovial way, point out one of your flaws before it becomes completely evident to the entire room.

And if such a foible is not a foregone conclusion, then surprise people with something they didn’t know about you and demonstrate your fearlessness about being candid concerning your status.

For in a world of touting accomplishments, making promises and trying to one-up the competition, such a piece of farce and revelation will always give you the attention of the room.

I will tell you why.

There are three possible reactions to your self-deprecation and all of them are good. (Can you beat that?)

Reaction One After You Make Fun of Yourself

“That person is really funny—and on top of that, humble.”

It is difficult to fail if you can find the good cheer in life while maintaining your own humility.

Reaction Two After Making Fun of Yourself

“Don’t put yourself down like that. You must have trouble with self-esteem—because you look great!”

They may think they’re rebuking you, but actually, they’re praising you. Also, they’re saying the words out loud that you want them to think.

Final Reaction After You Make Fun of Yourself

“Look at how people are beaming, just because he made a joke on himself. I’m jealous. Maybe I should be more forthcoming.”

Yes, you will discover that poking fun at yourself will lead to a competition of other people to make fun of their weaknesses.

For after all, I don’t know who thought it was a good idea to “blow your own horn.”

But since there’s always a chance you might hit some sour notes, you might be wise to warn the audience that you don’t play all that well.

Donate ButtonThe producers of jonathots would humbly request a yearly donation for this inspirational opportunity

 

1 Thing You Can Do to Escape the Foolishness of Struggle

May the Force NOT Be with You

May you find a way to keep yourself out of situations where you feel forced to perform like a trick pony or forced to complete the inventory without any joy.

May you laugh at the idea of constantly being encompassed by an agenda, especially when finishing the task brings no sense of celebration.

May you wisely refrain from feeling forced to fight to defend yourself.

Realize that those who are supposedly out to get you usually end up getting themselves.

And certainly, stop feeling forced to pray, to fulfill some sort of pious quota with God, or forced to believe so those around you can confirm that you’re part of the faithful.

Since working is the lot of those in the human family, find a reason to do it with humor and joy instead of being forced to climb out of your bed and trudge to the mines.

And most of all:

Do not allow yourself to be forced into a grownup world that’s full of sneers, leers, tears and jeers.

My hope for you, each and every one, is:

MAY THE GOOD CHEER BE WITH YOU.

 

Donate ButtonThe producers of jonathots would humbly request a yearly donation for this inspirational opportunity

 

Sit Down Comedy … September 13th, 2019

Jonathots Daily Blog

(4166)

Sit Down Comedy

The government the forefathers envisioned–being of the people, for the people and by the people—has devolved into a puzzle of political pandering.

Perhaps the worst part of the scenario is that those people the government was supposed to serve have accepted the bastard that’s been birthed and deemed America.

This has primarily been brought about by the assertion that the more complicated a thing is, the greater the chance that it will succeed.

So imitating the worst parts of former kingdoms which had emperors, senators, dignitaries and conquering, we have accumulated a history of pursuing a dream which has gradually left us sleepless.

America has boiled down to three P’s

  1. Party

The political party you identify with, which means you concede to accept the universal platform

  1. Plans

How can we make it seem that we’re addressing the difficulties in our nation and the world around us, without ever explaining step-by-step, how it will be initiated day by day?

  1. Personality

We are obsessed with rooting for our candidate-tainted-with-scandal while condemning your candidate-tainted-with-scandal.

Our leaders should be selected on the following:

A. Could we work side-by-side with them on a job?

B.  Could we work for them if they were our boss?

C.  When problems arise, what demeanor do they take on?

There’s the word: demeanor

The Presidency, the Senate and the House of Representatives should be voted in based on the demeanor of the candidates who will need to mull great quandaries yet find ways to simplify them for immediate attention.

So what is meant by demeanor? It begins with one simple principle:

Don’t attack

If you feel the need to bring down your adversary in order to make yourself look strong, then you do not possess the demeanor to be part of the leadership of this great country. Therefore, the people with the correct demeanor also:

Refuse to retaliate

For such defensiveness is a sign of avoiding looking foolish instead of persevering with great ideals.

Case in point: Does anyone think we are doing good in the Middle East?

The argument presented is that “bad things will happen if we leave.” We should pose a question: Since we know what we’re doing is foul and we don’t know that leaving will make it worse, why do we continue to stubbornly pursue the inefficient?

We are led by people who first attack and then retaliate.

You should not vote for anyone based on their policies or their political party. Ask yourself if you could work with them, if you could work for them and if he or she carries a pleasant disposition, seeking ways to solve problems instead of losing perspective and exacerbating the situation.

A leader of the United States of America must possess the wisdom and wit to have good cheer.

It was not Thomas Jefferson, John Adams or George Washington that launched our country in the correct direction. What held everything together in the beginning was what we need now:

The congenial cleverness of Benjamin Franklin

Franklin never saw a problem where he didn’t create an invention. He couldn’t even stand to watch lightning without inviting it down to explain itself. This is what we need.

Our candidates are pugnacious.

It is exactly the opposite of what makes good leadership for democracy.

So when I watch the debates or I look at Washington, D. C., I ask myself, could I work side by side with this person? If he or she were promoted, could I enjoy them as my boss? And, are they looking for a simple answer to begin the journey to completion, while maintaining a sense of “all is well” with good cheer?

 

Donate Button

The producers of jonathots would humbly request a yearly subscription donation of $10 for this inspirational opportunity


Subscribe to Jonathan’s Weekly Podcast


 

%d bloggers like this: