Cracked 5 … June 22nd, 2019

Jonathots Daily Blog

(4084)

Problems that May Arise When Family Come to Visit

 

A.  Though demonic, the children can not be killed off like zombies.

 

B.  An empty toilet paper roll is not grounds for murder.

 

C.  Picky eaters don’t really ever pick.

 

D.  Lack of hot water removes your shower of blessings.

 

E.  Family never tip for services rendered but will gladly offer a poor review.

The producers of jonathots would humbly request a yearly subscription donation for this inspirational opportunity 

 

1 Thing That Makes for a Good Father

 

SLOW TO ANGER

This remedy could be misinterpreted.

Someone reading “slow to anger” may think that fatherhood is being kind and nice.

Being a good father has little to do with being nice. Being a good father demands you be precise.

Make clear to your children how life works

Give them their options, and then hold them to their decisions without adding the angry heat of you feeling betrayed.

To achieve this, a father must keep in mind three important procedures:

1. Don’t show up to discipline your children already pissed about something else.

2. Let them explain and trap them in their own inconsistencies.

3. Let the punishment fit the crime.

Taking away a phone is not the correct judgment for being a bully. Any child who’s a bully needs to understand what it feels like to be bullied.

Being grounded is not sufficient for refusing to do the chores. Having the garbage set on top of their bed if they don’t take it out is more apt.

If you have creative solutions to dealing with your children instead of feeling disappointed and therefore angry, your results will be much more enlightening and lasting.

The producers of jonathots would humbly request a yearly donation for this inspirational opportunity

 

Cracked 5 … June 15th, 2019

Jonathots Daily Blog

(4077)

Important Steps to Being a Good Father

A.  Don’t eat your children.

Cannibalism destroys their self-awareness.

 

B. Do wear pants to the dinner table.

The kids should enjoy their chicken instead of viewing your bird.

 

C.  Don’t murder their mother.

She smells better.

 

D.  Do pay the bills.

The little ones find it difficult to shower with Coca-Cola.

 

E.  Don’t make fun of the shape of their head.

Maybe they will grow into it.

The producers of jonathots would humbly request a yearly subscription donation for this inspirational opportunity