Dear Man/Dear Woman: A Noteworthy Conversation … December 31st, 2016

 Jonathots Daily Blog

(3172)

Dear Man Dear Woman

Woman: Alluring. Yes, I think that’s what she said.

 

Man: What are you talking about?

 

Woman: I was listening to this girl on a talk show say that she felt it was very important to her, as a female, to be alluring.

 

Man: What’s wrong with that? Everyone wants to be attractive.

 

Woman: You see, it’s not the same word. She said “alluring.” You said “attractive.”

 

Man: Aren’t they the same thing?

 

Woman: Not at all. You can be attractive in your own mind’s eye without ever being appealing to anyone else. Alluring is when you visually seduce someone–to want you.

 

Man: That’s a stretch. I want to be considered handsome.

 

Woman: But you see, I need to be pretty. Handsome has a thousand definitions. But pretty has two or three representations.

 

Man: OK. I’ll bite. What are you getting at?

 

Woman: There are different words used to describe the attributes of a woman than those of a man. For instance, men are considered intelligent. But a woman is smart. Intelligence connotes that you’ve studied, worked on something and have used your ability to become well versed on a subject. Smart is more like a fluke. In other words, most women are not very intelligent–but this particular one–she’s smart.

 

Man: I think you’re just being over-sensitive.

 

Woman: How about this? A woman is strong but a man is brave. In other words, here’s a lady who by some miracle has great strength, but this man over here has used his moxy to do some outstanding deed.

 

Man: I suppose you have others?

 

Woman: Yeah. Women are faithful but men are loyal. In other words, is it even possible for a man to be faithful? Or can all a woman expect is a certain degree of loyalty? Let me give you another one. Women are hopeful. Men are positive. Hopeful, maybe. because we have less opportunity? Positive because the ball’s always in your court–it’s just a matter of you keeping the right mindset?

 

Man: Much as I hate to admit it, I do kind of understand what you’re saying. Can I do one? Men are virile. Women are sexy. In other words, as a man, I have a natural animal appeal, whereas a woman has to work really hard to make herself pleasing to the male of the species.

 

Woman: Even the terms “masculine” and “feminine.” Just by the feel of the words, we’re led to believe that masculine portrays great energy and feminine is a position of being more submissive.

 

Man: So what is your point?

 

Woman: My point is that the language works against us. It stacks the deck–making women believe that unless we are alluring we can’t be attractive. In other words, our self-esteem is wrapped up in whether a man has visions of having sex with us. If a woman said that about a man, we’d call her a slut. But men have no problem portraying that a woman needs to be ready to be a lover to be considered viable.

 

Man: Well, how would you change that?

 

Woman: I don’t know, but I think we made a giant step here. You’ve listened to my statements about it without becoming infuriated. That’s pretty special.

 

Man: I understand that. I comprehend the expectations that are placed on me as a male, and also those that are thrust on you as a female.

 

Woman: It’s just that our male-dominated society needs to realize that until things stop being thrust on women, the world will be a little akilter.

 

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Dear Man/Dear Woman: A Noteworthy Conversation … April 9th, 2016

 Jonathots Daily Blog

(2899)

Dear Man Dear Woman

 

Dear Man: So what did they tell you?

Dear Woman: They told me that women are beautiful, but very emotional. What did they tell you?

Dear Man: I was told that men are handsome and strong.

Dear Woman: Well, since “beautiful” and “handsome” are literally in the eye of the beholder, that leaves emotional and strong.

Dear Man: That it does. And what do those two words mean?

Dear Woman: Well, emotional means having lots of feelings.

Dear Man: And for simplicity, strong means having lots of muscles.

Dear Woman: So I guess the thought is, when feelings are needed, women are handy and in everything else, men have the edge because they can lift the weights.

Dear Man: Here’s my question–can anybody achieve anything without emotion? Can the football team win the national championship without great feelings and energy to propel them?

Dear Woman: And can anything be accomplished as a human being without utilizing strength? For instance, can a woman actually go through the difficulty of puberty, struggles in the economy, birthing and raising children–without possessing tremendous physical fortitude?

Dear Man: Of course not. But we’re led to believe that I’m emotional and you are strong. So if you decide I’m overly emotional, you can just beat the crap out of me.

Dear Woman: Well, I personally wouldn’t do that…

Dear Man: I know that. But deep in the recesses of your primeval brain is the notion that you could take me down.

Dear Woman: And equally deep in your evolution is the information that you may only be able to get what you want by crying and expressing your feelings.

Dear Man: So what’s the truth?

Dear Woman: Well, that’s easy. None of us can live without emotion and strength. To be a human being, you must know how to tap your emotions, and be able to be strong in the hour of trial.

Dear Man: Exactly. So maybe the problem is the words we use.

Dear Woman: I’m listening.

Dear Man: What I mean is that emotion without purpose and direction is useless. If you add purpose it becomes passion.

Dear Woman: And strength without the willingness to include endurance is just macho energy because it doesn’t hang in there and last to the end. So what I’m saying is that an emotional and strong football team doesn’t win the game.

Dear Man: No, it’s a passionate team–one with great endurance–that lasts through the fourth quarter and takes the day.

Dear Woman: Do you realize, there’s no Bible for the boys and another for the girls. There’s no Constitution for the men and another one for women. In our higher forms of reasoning, we already understand that we need to be human beings and not just genders.

Dear Man: Well said. So maybe the best thing we can do is teach our children–and maybe ourselves–that women are not emotional and men strong, but instead, that human beings are learning to use their passion with endurance.

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Untotaled: Stepping 39 (March 23rd, 1967) The Gospel Brothers–Dreamy, Cute and Darling… November 8, 2014

 Jonathots Daily Blog

(2407)

(Transcript)

If you live in Central Ohio, the month of March is a beacon of hope–not just of the arrival of spring, but the burgeoning reality that summer cannot be far behind. It makes everyone want to shed their parkas, remove their long underwear and run naked through the streets, clapping their hands to some great Woody Guthrie folk tune. (Well, maybe not that far, since we tend to be a stoic, bashful Germanic sort.)

The month of March was also the time when we had our annual youth rally, held at the Ohio State Fair Grounds, featuring an array of speakers no one remembered, seminars when we passed notes to each other, and venues when the young people could express themselves through music, which had to be gospel.

Last year our group was the hit of the conference. The guys were slapping us on the back and the girls were swooning. We felt we were studs, ready to conquer the world.

But this year, when the poster arrived advertising the event, there was a new music group on the slot, from Boardman, Ohio (up with the rich folks) who obviously were named Dreamy, Cute and Darling–since that’s what all the girls said as they lingered, drooling over their picture.

I thought they were ugly and obviously could not sing, since visually they did not exude any tonal quality.

Jealous, I decided to bad-mouth them, and found that the only allies I had were the other members of my group, who were equally as intimidated by the “beauties.”

Making matters worse, when we arrived at the conference, the three little dweebs were nice. Their rich daddy had just purchased them a Shure Vocal Master System, fresh off the assembly line, which they proudly reported was the twenty-fifth unit available. Only a few famous rock groups were ahead of them numerically.

They were so expansive that they allowed us to use their new PA system, explaining how it worked and encouraging us during rehearsal.

This did not keep me from hating them, and as hate often does when it links with jealousy, it wipes our mind clean of any thought and talent, making us look completely incapable of achieving what we originally were easily able to accomplish.

In other words, we stumbled all over ourselves trying to be better than people who were already better than us because they were nicer.

Yet unwilling to relent from our jealousy, we tried to gossip about them, garnering no audience other than the Grumblers Four.

I learned a lot at that conference.

And although they wanted me to learn about King David and his mighty sling against Goliath, what I learned was that jealousy makes you look small, resentment robs you of your talent, and gossip gives you an ever-shrinking market.

I retain that to this day.

The brothers never went on to pursue a musical career and I have. I assume they did continue to be handsome, and I continued to be … well, determined.

 

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