1 Thing You Can Do This Week (To Get Along Better With Others)

1 Thing You Can Do This Week (To Get Along Better With Others)

 

People don’t remember and when they do remember, they don’t remember well. They tend to recall victories in their lives or times when they looked extremely powerful, and they will have their own rendition of those tales.

There is a nasty movement of human hatred within the human race. With all the false esteem, life coaches and optimism, we have just decided that humans should be gods, and when they aren’t, we’re really pissed off.

Humans are not godly, they are not divine, they’re not even spiritual. They are carnal beings who are capable of emotion and being touched by the Spirit.

So if you want to get along with friends, relatives and even strangers, the one thing you can do this week is:

DON’T EXPECT PEOPLE TO REMEMBER

That goes for your birthday. How about an upcoming dinner invitation? A concert. A meeting. Your telephone number. Your favorite color. Or the fact that you’re allergic to shellfish.

Whenever these things come up, kindly and tenderly drop a hint about them so those around you can once again hear what they need to remember, and feel really smart that they do.

Get the chip off your shoulder and replace it with a brain that’s supposed to sit up there. It is unfair to expect people to take care of their own lives and still maintain a calendar of events concerning yours.

Nudge people in the right direction, mention things that are going to happen and give them the chance to recollect.

If you do, you will be a hero instead of someone who “unfriends” people on Facebook because they did not know about the upcoming anniversary of something or other.

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1 Thing You Can Do This Week (To Magnify Your Character)

1 Thing You Can Do This Week …

(To Magnify Your Character)

William Shakespeare contended that “all the world’s a stage and each one of us, merely players.”

So who are you?

In the world of theater, it is impossible to play too many characters without coming across anemic in the roles. Also, if you establish your character onstage and then drastically revise it, the audience doesn’t buy into your leap.

The one thing you should think about this week to magnify your character is:

Don’t let your problems give you stage directions

Unlike true theater, in everyday life we have a tendency to adjust to the settings, the surroundings, the spotlights, the poor audience reaction or the failure of others around us to remember their lines, and either attempt to revise our dialogue to fit the circumstance or freak out because our the revisions cause us to lose all credibility.

Here is this week’s question: who are you?

And don’t try to tell me that you are a multi-faceted individual with many different layers of being. That’s the best way to describe a liar. Who are you?

Once you find the answer to that, remaining faithful to the role, no matter how the play unfolds in front of you, is how you gain the reputation of being solid and trustworthy– well worth knowing by your peers.

An acquaintance recently asked me, “Who are you?”

I replied, “I am a character addicted to good cheer, so no matter what you hand me, I will do my best to give you back joy.”

The definition of immaturity is feeling the need to change the script simply because there’s been an unforeseen twist in the plot. But in doing so, we sully our character and make ourselves seem unreliable.

Who are you?

Answer that question–and then don’t let your problems or your mishaps give you stage directions.

 

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1 Thing You Can Do This Week (To Become Believable)

1 Thing You Can Do This Week …

To Become Believable

 

A proverb is a wise saying that gained status by being true most of the time. Like this:

“There’s a way that seems right to a human being, but the end of it is destruction.”

For instance:

“If you make a mistake, deny it, hide it and cover it up until people lose interest in it and you can move on.”

This concept is so faithfully followed in our country that it should be hung on a golden plaque in the halls of Congress, Madison Avenue and the White House.

Somehow or another, we have convinced ourselves that lying works. I don’t know how it happened–so many liars have been exposed, ridiculed and condemned that one would think their stories would prove to be cautionary tales. But not so.

If you want one thing to pursue this week to help you become more believable, do this:

Admit your faults and admit them early.

Nothing sounds nearly as bad if the confession comes from your own mouth. When it turns into an accusation from others or an indictment by society, you will find yourself either continuing to lie or offering a tardy admission of guilt.

“It was me.”

The three magic words. Not “I am sorry” nor “I love you.”

When the question is posed, “Who drank the last of the milk and left the carton in the refrigerator?” and you know it was your doing, simply replying, “It was me–sorry about that…” YOU BECOME A HERO.

Honest to God, nobody sane on the Earth will incriminate you further.

Take this one thing this week and put it into your daily activity. If you want to become believable to those around you:

Admit your faults and admit them early.

 

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The Alphabet of Us: E Is for Eliminate… January 5, 2015

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 Building block E bigger

All human beings possess a heart, soul, mind and strength. Nothing of any true significance can be achieved unless this is understood.

Overestimation of ability is the sure-fire way of draining energy. Human beings have very little will-power. Nothing will be achieved without understanding it.

For every magical story you can relate about someone who overcame difficulties through resolve, I can provide a million testimonials of wishy-washy results.

It is in the exaggeration of our goals that we cripple ourselves with the burden of too much anticipation, which is often followed by too much disappointment.

I can not eliminate anything. The minute I believe I can, I will make bold statements which I will be unable to achieve, causing me to want to lie. And I will tell you right now–even though we seem to be a society that condones lying, there isn’t a human being who will actually put up with anyone telling them one.

So what are we looking for? If I smoke two packs of cigarettes a day, can I really throw them away, go cold turkey and survive? Am I a hero, or am I setting myself up for an incredible fall which will make me fearful of reaching the heights of such conviction again?

Here’s the axiom:

Work on working on the work of simple progress.

If I could put that into the hearts of every brother and sister I encounter, I could lift the burden of expectation and replace it with practical approaches to making things a little bit better.

For instance, when I rounded the corner this year and wanted to lose weight, I realized that I needed to adopt an improved philosophy. Here it is:

1. Less of what I am doing.

Yes, if I can just do less of over-eating, I will be much acclaimed, even in my own mind. If every fat person would simply eat a hundred fewer calories a day, they would lose a pound a month. Remarkable.

2. More of what I want to do.

Once I stop chasing the rabbit of promises, which is wearing me out because of the futility of my efforts, I can settle down and just begin to do more of what I want to do. If every person in America smoked one less cigarette, ate one more vegetable a day and walked up that one flight of stairs, our health care costs would drop drastically.

3. And finally, just learn to tell the truth about both.

In other words, “This is what I’m doing that’s making me miserable, and this is what I need to do to make me happier.”

As people, we have a childish inclination to justify all of our actions, as if they’re really our aspirations.

Learn how to be pissed off at what’s hurting you, and delighted with what helps.

The word “eliminate” is impossible for human beings.

  • It is not our function to eliminate poverty. Keep in mind, the impoverished person must be willing to cease his or her condition.
  • We do not have the gumption to eliminate our bad habits. We can lessen them–and ultimately might convince ourselves that we don’t need them.

Arrogance is anyone who believes they have the capacity for scaring away all their demons. It’s just not possible.

The demons know us well, and have found clever hiding places.

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Andrew It Out … April 27, 2013

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fiVe loavesAs I get older I realize it more and more.

The game is not fame. The game is not acclaim. It’s about leaving behind a plain path of understanding concerning your life so that others can study it, follow it and progress the idea.

Imagine how excited I was when I discovered that my Sunday would be spent at St. Andrew Lutheran Church in San Antonio, Texas. Andrew is one of my favorite Bible dudes. He is one of a quartet of fishermen from the little town of Capernaum who Jesus welcomes into his “kingdom dozen.”

Andrew was among the first to discover the message of Jesus.  Here’s an interesting fact: even though he was one of four fishermen, three of them–Peter James and John–became what we refer to as the “inner circle.”

Andrew was not included.

We do not know why. We don’t even know if there is a “why” to it. But there is no incident listed in which Andrew pitched a fit or ended up betraying Jesus because he felt cheated. What we have is a man who found his place, occupied his space, made his case and finished the race.

Andrew did three really notable things.–and as I said, as the years pass, I realize that I want to have more of the spirit of Andrew in me, and not insist on being a Peter, James or John.

1. He came early. Dear God, may I learn that in the matters of spirit, justice and equality, to arrive first and jump on the bandwagon of freedom instead of dragging my feet because my culture and prejudice have taught me to be reluctant. Andrew met Jesus and went with it. How amazing. Come early, folks. It’s not as crowded, and you get to share beautiful moments with something beginning instead of later on just being part of the maintenance crew.

2. He brought a friend. Yes, the Bible tells us that Andrew brought his brother, Peter. Every night when I walk onstage and share my thoughts, I realize that they may never gain international attention, but there is always the possibility that I will inspire the mind and spirit of someone in the gathering who has the capability of doing things much greater than me. Sometimes the best thing you can do for the world is to stimulate somebody else who has the power to change it.

3. Andrew encouraged young humans. When it was discovered that five thousand men needed to be fed, Andrew was the one who found a young lad with five loaves and two fishes and brought him to Jesus. He gave this fledgling kid a chance to be the hero of the day. He gave him a lifelong memory. He gave him a place in the Bible.

There are two ways to become old: you can become old and grouchy or you can become old and hip. If you’re old and grouchy, you think everything young people do is stupid. If you’re old and hip, you look at what young people do, remember what you did, laugh and encourage them in their better choices.

I want to be Andrew. I want to ignore the inner circles of life. I want to show up early, bring a friend and encourage young humans.

If that’s what’s going on at St. Andrew Lutheran Church, they are on the verge of revealing the Kingdom of God.

Andrew: enjoying your portion without needing the whole platter.

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