Cracked 5 … July 21st, 2015

 Jonathots Daily Blog

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Various Ways to Guarantee You Will Not Be Elected President of the United States

 

A. Call the fastest-growing voting block a bunch of criminals

 

B. Comb your hair in a style that people constantly make fun of

 

C. Use an accent that makes you sound like a gangster in a summer stock version of “Damn Yankees”

 

D. Call a war hero careless for being captured and tortured

 

E. Brag about your money around people who have to buy Brand X toilet paper

rich and mean

 

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G-Poppers … June 12th, 2015

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The cereal aisle at the local grocery store.

G-Pop found himself perusing at least 100 boxes of the stuff, each one promising delicious diversity. So he decided to glance at a dozen of the packages, reading the labels to see what was so special about each one.

It was an amazing test.

After careful inspection, it became clear that the only difference among the various brands was that some were sweeter and some had more fiber.

That was it.

Even though, with all the colors, designs and advertising, he was led to believe that each one of the treats was birthed in a factory to be its own entity, they were all basically the same, with minor exceptions in flavor and color. How amazing.

Likewise, even though we tout ourselves a tolerant society, G-Pop would assert that we’ve allowed a sophisticated prejudice to enter our thinking by believing that there are actually African-Americans, Asian-Americans, women, men, Hispanics, LGBT and even religious differentiation.

We just keep shrinking groups down smaller and smaller, insisting that the subtle attributes that might make one group unique are actually insurmountable barriers.

It’s insane.

Just as the boxes of cereal are only set apart by their packaging, not by their cereal, we as human beings have much in common.

  • Some of us are a little sweeter.
  • And maybe some of us have a little more fiber in our disposition.

What will it take? How can we get a whole generation of younger folks to stop this insanity of purposeful division, and instead, remove titles and insert appreciation?

After all, even the distinction of “American” causes us to pursue the notion of exceptionalism instead of joining forces with the other souls on this small planet, to create harmony.

Cereal is cereal.

You can box it up differently, but once you open it and pour it out in a bowl, it looks like a dozen more equally delicious options.

The same is true with people.

G-Pop left the grocery store still deep in thought. He realized he needed to talk to his grandson about this.

Even though the boy is very young, it is never too early to set an intelligent young fellow on a mission for unity.

 

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Jesonian: The Bad Samaritan… April 5, 2015

 Jonathots Daily Blog

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It was Charles Schultz, the conceiver of the Peanuts comic strip, who once said, “I love mankind. It’s people I can’t stand.”

Let me give you my resurrection message. It’s all about Samaritans. In the ministry of Jesus there are four major references to these people from Samaria.

There is the case when Jesus stopped in to Sychar and talked to a woman at a well, who coyly wanted to avoid any discussion of her personal life by becoming embroiled in a conversation about religion. Jesus side-stepped the theology, touched her heart and because of that, a little revival broke out in the region, which led to many wonderful conversions.

The word “Samaritan” is also brought up in relationship to one of ten lepers, who returned to be thankful after being cleansed. Jesus commended him for his great insight.

Then there’s the classic parable of “The Good Samaritan,” who stops off to help out someone wounded along the side of the road.

But the fourth case is what we might call the “Bad Samaritan.”

Jesus is on his way to Jerusalem once again and decides to pass through Samaria and sprout a few more blessings. But upon arriving at a Samaritan village, the town council meets him outside the city limits and tells him he is no longer welcome there, because they are angry because he is heading toward Jerusalem.

This prompts two of the disciples to offer the suggestion that these ungrateful people should be killed off by fire from heaven.

Perhaps that’s the problem we have today.

We like people, even those we used to be prejudiced against, as long as they do exactly what we want them to do.

On this Easter Sunday morning I would like you to remember the true message of the season. For after all, Jesus did not resurrect from the dead and go seek revenge on Caiaphas and the Jewish Council. He didn’t behead Pontius Pilate.

The true message of Easter is the same one Jesus spoke to those two disciples when they wanted to kill off the Samaritans, who had a bad day.

It’s a three-step process–a Jesonian perspective which will make your Easter Sunday last all year long:

1. Know the heart of God.

It’s simple: God doesn’t want anyone to perish.

He certainly doesn’t want them to be driven to hell by people who condemn them.

2. Know your own spirit.

Once again, not complicated: we get mercy when we give mercy.

And by the way, we require mercy.

3. The rest is obvious.

Yes, when we walk around pretending that life is difficult, we are admitting that we have abandoned the heart of God and we really don’t know our own spirit.

In conclusion:

  • You can’t change bad Samaritans into good Samaritans.
  • You can’t change bad people into good people.
  • Jesus’ response to the Samaritans who rejected him was simply to go to another village.

Let God take care of all the business of dealing with people’s inner workings.

There are “Bad Samaritans.”

There are people who have nasty attitudes.

Our only recourse is to know the heart of God, know that our own spirit demands that we give mercy, and the rest is obvious:

Move on.

Sometimes … it takes another village.

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