SENSITIZE (Substitute)
A discovery from the 2018 “Sit Down Comedy” catalogue
It’s entitled “Dicktator”
Sit Down Comedy … April 24th, 2020
Jonathots Daily Blog
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Sometimes good people do bad things.
Likewise, bad people do good things.
More often, people do nothing.
This compels us to ask the question, “Should folks be judged by what they accomplish, or by the dictates of their beliefs and the parameters of their character?”
It does come up.
For the greatest among us are often splattered with iniquity, while simultaneously making a notable contribution.
Such is the case of a man named Henry Ford.
He is arguably the inventor of the car. The argument exists because there were many souls experimenting with the “horseless carriage,” but Henry was certainly the first one to take it to market, promoting a product known as the Model T.
Mr. Ford jokingly once said about his Model T, “The customer can get it in any color whatsoever that he may want, as long as it’s black.”
Along with this massive achievement of motorizing the race, Mr. Ford was also known to be one of the worst bigots and enemy of the Jewish people. He even received an award for his writings from Adolph Hitler and the Nazi boys.
So history has handled the dilemma by enjoying the automobile and leaving next to it an asterisk, which quietly tells about its creator, Henry Ford.
Perhaps that’s the best way.
But the truth of the matter is, Henry Ford took something that was impossible and made it pleasing. Why was it impossible?
A gasoline combustible engine.
Can you find a word in there that isn’t dangerous?
Yet Henry took on the job of making a shell to sit on top of that engine safe for traveling.
He did it by following a three-step process. And though I don’t agree with Henry about the Children of Abraham, I cannot ignore the visionary approach he took for making the renowned family car.
First step: make it work.
It doesn’t matter how pretty it is, how many colors it comes in or how many seats it has—if it doesn’t work.
It has to function without people choking from all the smoke. It has to start up instead of needing repair on every trip. It must be reliable.
Now wait a second. I must be candid—over half the things we have going on in this country are negated because they don’t work. They are pretty, popular, spiritual, touted—but they don’t work.
If you’re going to do great things, you have to make sure the great thing you have come up with actually kicks ass, while taking names.
Number Two: make it comfortable.
It was not easy to ride a horse for twenty miles to the next town. That’s why they came up with the carriage in the first place. But it had its drawbacks, with broken wheels, axles and many a sore buttock.
Yet people were not going to give up their horses for something that did not work—and was not pleasant.
Room for at least three inside.
A little padding on the seats.
Glass in the windows.
A way to get fresh air.
And a way to start the vehicle that didn’t demand priming the engine each time or turning a crank.
And then, once you make it comfortable:
Number three: make it fun.
All the things that have been added to the automobile since Henry Ford pushed his little invention down the road have been all about making driving fun.
- Radio.
- Speedometers.
- Air conditioning.
- Heated seats.
- Video.
- Audio.
- GPS.
- Mirrors everywhere.
These have turned the car into more than just a means of transportation. Now it’s a way to brag about your success.
Henry Ford, in spite of his bigotry, took an idea and made it work, made it comfortable and made it fun.
Somewhere along the line we will have to do this with everything we wish to accomplish in America, or we will drag our feet, fail to pursue great ideas—and shall we say—back the wrong horse.
The A Word … February 5th, 2019
THE
WORD
Jonathots Daily Blog
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My assumption is that it began with “the f word.”
Feeling that we were very proper, members of our society began refusing to even say the word f-u-c-k, but instead referred to it as “that f word.” The immediate foolishness of this approach is that every time you say “the f word,” everyone listening sounds out the word “fuck” in their minds.
When we added “the n word” to it, thinking we were sparing an entire race of people anger and humiliation, we just gave bigots a way to promote the word.
Likewise with “the c word.”
So I am doing a series on every letter of the alphabet—how each one has a naughty word that most people think should not be spoken aloud, due to its severity or profanity.
Using my recollection of the alphabet from my kindergarten class, I think that takes us to the letter A.
THE A WORD IS ASSHOLE
The “a word” falling into this category is asshole.
The word is a game changer.
For instance, you can say to someone, “I am disgusted with you.” They may be slightly offended by your observation but not devastated.
You could even say, “I can’t stand your attitude.” It’s stinging, but not a mortal wound.
But when you add onto those thoughts a closing remark of, “you are an asshole,” the whole temperature and intensity of the event changes. The reason for your original objection gets buried under an avalanche of offense. Why?
You will discover over these twenty-six weeks, as we investigate each of these words, that they convey a hidden meaning.
Calling someone an asshole says that you believe their actions, lifestyle and motivations are located at the place in the ass where shit comes out.
Therefore, you’re saying the following three things:
- “You are less than me.” (That in itself could be fighting words)
- “You don’t have rights.” (Now the person you offended is ready for a fight)
- “You are worthless.” (Let the punching begin.)
Words that have proven themselves to be so poisonous that they have to be referred to by a single letter always find their birthing in human bigotry. Over the years, they have been portrayed comically and even presented off-handedly. But at their root is the notion of superiority.
This is how Hitler was able to convince the German people that the Jews were rats. In other words, “they are less than us, they don’t have rights and therefore, they’re worthless.”
So rather than presenting this word as immoral, or a term that “good people just don’t use,” we need to realize that “asshole” is still being used—because bigotry has not been adequately exposed.
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Cracked 5 … August 14th, 2018
Jonathots Daily Blog
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Since the mustache continues to persist (like the flu) here are some types to be looking out for:
The Bushy Broom
(Sweepin’ those gals off their feet)
The Magic Marker
(Probably put on with a magic marker)
The Caterpillar
(Creepy, with no possibility of turning into a butterfly)
The Dictator
(Will all hairs please report to the middle of the lip?)
The Sparse Farce
(Time to face it. You can’t grow a mustache)
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Cracked 5 … April 10th, 2018
Jonathots Daily Blog
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Possible Reasons the Syrian Government is Killing Its Own People
A. A unique approach to food shortages
B. Chasing that record of six million Jews murdered by the Nazis
C. “You always hurt the ones you love”
D. SYRIA-OUSLY insane
E. Expiration date coming up soon on poison gas cannisters
Ask Jonathots… October 27th, 2016
Jonathots Daily Blog
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Is there any such thing as a good war, a necessary war or a productive war?
I am always frightened of pat answers.
I’m talking about those responses given which attempt to be clever or cover a multitude of opinions in order to please everybody. We know that life doesn’t work that way. Actually, truth is a poison ivy that leaves everyone scratching.
So when you talk about war, it’s easy to take familiar stances.
For instance, “war is fine as long as we’re protecting the innocent.” The problem, of course is, who is really innocent?
And most people who decide to go to war tout that they’re doing it to “shelter the needy,” but have ulterior motives.
There are those who say war is necessary to promote our way of life. In other words, “these people are going to do what’s right or we’ll kill them.”
And there are people who contend that war is acceptable when we, ourselves, are attacked. Then the question comes, at what level? Are we talking about a bombing of our whole country, or an aggressive move toward one of our ships?
The truth of the matter is, war is so wrong that it must be won by people who know it’s evil.
If we begin to believe that there’s a righteous war, or our cause is anointed by the heavens and we’re allowed to enact violence, then we become the latest plague on the planet.
- War is wrong because it kills people.
- Killing people is against life.
- God is a promoter of life.
So what should we feel about war?
I think many wars are avoided by choosing our skirmish.
In other words, if we step in early enough and rip the bad seed out of the ground, the ugly cactus of conflict doesn’t have to pop up in the desert.
If we use diplomacy, a show of force and a line in the sand that we really do follow through on, we have a much better chance of avoiding a death toll and devastation.
Should the United States have become involved in World War II earlier? Yes–the U. S. should have stepped in when Hitler decided to annex part of Austria–long before he took over Poland, all of Europe and bombed the hell out of England.
We should have noticed the political upheaval in Viet Nam and addressed it with the tools available–a show of force and diplomacy–instead of sending human bodies to shoot at human bodies.
War is not inevitable. More often than not, it’s a refusal and a denial of existing problems, hoping they will go away, only to discover that they multiply.
For instance, in a marriage, long before there’s a divorce, there are a thousand junctures where communication and conversation could have changed the outcome.
War is caused by delay.
Delay is triggered by politics.
And politics is the notion that by pretending everything is good, we will get elected.
Choose the skirmish.
Avoid the war.
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Jonathan’s Latest Book Release!
PoHymn: A Rustling in the Stagnant
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Cracked 5 … April 5th, 2016
Jonathots Daily Blog
(2895)
History As Remembered in the Mind of a Millennial
A. Abraham Lincoln won World War II and freed the slaves from the Eiffel Tower, where they were held hostage by Hitler and the Ku Klux Klan.
B. The Beatles came with the British Invasion, causing Benjamin Franklin to write the Declaration of Independence, which ushered in the Grammy Awards.
C. When the Viets attacked, Richard Nixon opened the Watergate to drown the Nams and save Woodstock.
D. The Pilgrims brought turkeys from their boat to feed the starving Indians at the Plymouth Rock Festival.
E. Two guys built an airplane and they did it so well that people called them the “Right Brothers.”
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