Cracked 5 … June 5th, 2018


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3694)

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Other Indiscretions That Might Be Considered for Additions to the Seven Deadly Sins

A. Laughing at a network sitcom

 

B. Bringing a Bible to a party

 

C. Referring to your dog or cat as children

 

D. Repetitive farting on a long car trip

 

E. Letting a fly into the house

 

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PoHymn: A Rustling in the Stagnant … April 11th, 2018

 Jonathots Daily Blog

(3639)

The Fly Zone

Here comes the fly

Watch as I try

Like a helpless putz

To squash its pukey guts

But instead it zooms away

Thinking that we play

“Chase me if you can

You pathetic dim-witted man

For I am much too fast

This is why I last

You may have a swatter,

But I can walk on water.”

Buzzing around your ears

Energizing your menacing fears

The fly is not offended

In mid-air appears suspended

Tramping on my favorite treat

With sticky wings and dirty feet

Learning the daily routine

Rising at seven-fifteen

Loves my gooey eggs

Sits on a biscuit and begs,

“Hey, big boy, why can’t we be friends?

Let’s take a moment and make amends!

It’s a big place you’re living in

Give me some room–I’m really thin.

Why can’t you comprehend and try

To understand the reason why

I’m called a house fly

Duh–don’t you get it?

I’m living in your house

Don’t hate or you’ll regret it.

I’ll try to let you nap

And do all your crap

I’ll avoid your food stash

And only buzz your trash

You need to give me release

Let me live my eight days in peace

And try to accept my hairy legs

Did I mention? I just laid some eggs.”

*****

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