G-Poppers … May 19th, 2017

 

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G-Pop was thinking about irritation.

It’s that fussy itch that if you scratch it, burns and stings and threatens infection.

It’s knowing that something upsets you, but you feel compelled for some reason or another, to put up with it anyway.

It is the pin that pops the balloon, the rain on the parade and the dread that makes us feel dead.

G-Pop is well aware that irritation occurs among those we seem to love the most. We have learned to tolerate certain behavior without really having any toleration. We’re always frustrated, but we sigh in despair, believing there’s no way of escape.

G-Pop points out that once you discover something that irritates you, your first plan of action should be to create distance.

Since you don’t have any power to change people, nor has God granted you the ability to alter the cosmos, it’s a good idea to wear roller skates and always be prepared to cruise down the sidewalk.

The supreme definition of arrogance is, “I believe that this time I can change what I didn’t last time.”

Verily, verily, G-Pop says unto you, irritation requires a speedy exit.

Irritation also demands that we develop a sense of humor, and if we find ourselves in the middle of that which irritates us, to entertain our aggravated spirit with a joking giddiness.

And finally, look for the open door.

If our irritation is at our job, then we should pray for an open door–to either leave or be promoted to a position to control the environment. This is our salvation.

Don’t allow yourself to believe that you can be irritated and maintain integrity. Living with irritation is like lighting damp sticks of dynamite, believing that none of them will ever blow up.

One just may, and when it does, remember–you’re holding it.

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Cracked 5 … May 9th, 2017

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Reasons You Should Be Kind To Your Mom On This Upcoming Mother’s Day

A. She knows all your humiliating stories–and is eager to share them with your friends.

 

B. She was willing to give you life even though it meant sleeping with your dad, who wears open-toed sandals with black socks.

 

C. She not only saved your umbilical cord, but SHE FROZE IT!

 

D. She knows where you keep your “junk” and has seen it.

 

E. She is the only person who patted you on the back after you threw up on her.

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Dudley … May 4th, 2017

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DUDLEY

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Published in: on May 4, 2017 at 12:16 pm  Comments (1)  
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Dudley … April 27th, 2017

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DUDLEY

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Published in: on April 27, 2017 at 1:40 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Cracked 5 … April 25th, 2017

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Startling Revelations About the Bluebird of Happiness

A. Recently humiliated during a “60 Minutes” interview because he couldn’t define happiness.

 

B. Changing gender, hoping to become the Pink Bird of Happiness

 

C. No one under 50 knows who he is

 

D. Turns out he’s not blue, just hasn’t bathed for a while

 

E. Not happy–just drunk

 

 

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G-Poppers … April 14th, 2017

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Jesus.

What does the name evoke?

G-Pop remembers a time when the mention of Jesus would flood one’s mind with images of mercy, kindness, forgiveness, tolerance and most certainly, love.

But the years have pressed on, and the insanity of religious fanaticism has begun to lump Jesus in with all his errant practitioners and sour-faced sheep.

It may be the greatest tragedy of Good Friday. Not only was he crucified by ignorant rabble, who had memorized scripture but had no Word in their hearts, but he is now re-wounded by those who fail to comprehend that they are imitating the primer of his murderers instead of the mindset of the Master.

G-Pop recalls a phrase Jesus once used: “Except your righteousness exceed that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven.”

Exceed.

Exceed what?

Prayer? No–it can’t be that. Jesus warned his disciples not to advertise their prayer life, but instead, find a closet, shut the door and create intimacy.

Study? Highly unlikely. Jesus accused the Pharisees of parsing every jot and tittle as they “strained at the gnat and swallowed the camel” forgetting the “weightier matters” of God’s message–that being justice and mercy.

Fasting? Once again, both he and his disciples were accused of never fasting, and Jesus told them that if they did, to make sure they literally put on a happy face.

So how did he want his disciples to exceed the religious people around them?

In the humanities.

  • Training themselves to give a damn instead of insisting that they just couldn’t muster the energy.
  • Refusing to judge other people, even though it temporarily makes us feel ooey and goooey with superiority.
  • Realizing that the folks who are considered the least on Earth have the heavenly Father’s eyeball–to see who will come and gently tend to them.

G-Pop points out that as we consider the crucifixion of Christ, we have to ask ourselves, why such a drastic measure? Why kill him?

And the answer is simple. There was a danger that if Jesus lived, or his disciples were still filled with his power and spunk, that religion would not be able to manipulate people into enough guilt to trap them in ceremony–as it robbed their pockets.

“This Jesus, this Jesus, this Jesus must die.”

G-Pop thinks the best tribute we can give to Jesus on this dark day in history is to exceed the Pharisees that walk the Earth today–by using the humor, kindness, gentleness, cleverness and mercy that he taught us to possess.

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Dudley … April 13th, 2017

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DUDLEY

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Published in: on April 13, 2017 at 12:19 pm  Comments (1)  
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