Cracked 5 … August 7th, 2018


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3758)

cracked 5 logo keeper with border

Plans, Schemes and Promotions Organized by Vegetables to Help Promote Their Brand

A. Hail a Cabbage!

 

B. Lettuce Love One Another

 

C. Broccoli–Never Grew On Bush (George Herbert 41)

 

D. Caul-i-flower Bouquet

 

E. Corn–We’re All Ears

Donate Button

The producers of jonathots would humbly request a yearly subscription donation for this wonderful, inspirational opportunity

 

Advertisements

G-Poppers … August 3rd, 2018

One of G-Pop’s children suggested that it be referred to as a “Pop-cast” since it was G-Pop doing it. Although terribly cute, endearing concepts like that often do not fare very well in the present marketplace.

But let us say that G-Pop’s children were thrilled when he started a podcast to share his humor and ideas all over the Internet.

Now, here’s the problem: The first question that comes out of anyone’s mouth when they discover you have a podcast–whether they’re interested or just polite–is, “What’s it about?”

Well, G-Pop’s podcast is on the most interesting subject on the entire planet.

People.

When dealing with people you have two choices. You can tell them what they want to hear, which opens the door to some popularity, or you can tell them what they need to hear, which has been known to empty many a room.

So when G-Pop started his podcast, “Good News and Better News,” he decided the key was to talk about the most practical things possible in the simplest, and hopefully, most humorous way, and perhaps, in so doing, Mary Poppins may be proven true–that a “spoonful of sugar” does “help the medicine go down.”

Because no human being ever begins their journey until he or she learns that there is the person you are, and there’s the person you want to be. If for some reason you decide to skip to the person you want to be, you have to lie an awful lot about the person you are.

And everyone knows what the problem is with lying: you get caught.

The minute any of us decides that we are not ashamed of the person we are, and do not walk away from the reality of our present situation, then we find ourselves in the position to negotiate–to seek and find ways to gradually become the person we want to be.

Because bluntly, you can’t save your soul until you find your soul.

So “Good News and Better News,” which is broadcast on Tuesday every week and available on all the major outlets, helps you to find your soul so you won’t be so frightened about the person you are and can keep a good sense of humor on the journey to the person you want to be.

Subscribe to Jonathan’s New Podcast

 

Donate Button

The producers of jonathots would humbly request a yearly subscription donation of $10 for this inspirational opportunity

 

Cracked 5 … July 3rd, 2018


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3722)

cracked 5 logo keeper with border

The Reason Fireworks Make a Lot Of Sense for July 4th

A. They make a lot of sound but not much sense

 

B. They sparkle but quickly fizzle

 

C. You can blow things up

 

D. “God Bless America” doesn’t sound quite so arrogant

 

E. They’re cheap

 

 

 

 

Donate Button

The producers of jonathots would humbly request a yearly subscription donation for this wonderful, inspirational opportunity

 

 

PoHymn: A Rustling in the Stagnant … June 6th, 2018

 Jonathots Daily Blog

(3695)

Please Explain

by Jonathan Richard Cring

 

My friend Brillo has a pad

Crazy Larry is really quite mad

Dirty Harry is never clean

Porno Pete, quite obscene

 

Sistah Golda’s the Queen of Funk

Stinky Stephen sniffs of skunk

Reverend Frowner knows the Word

Charlie the Clown is truly absurd

 

Private Gump had Lieutenant Dan

The Potts family owns a special pan

The Bumblebee really rarely does

And Fuzzy Wuzzy has no fuzz

 

Little Boy Blue looks better in red

Are they thankful–the Grateful Dead?

We’re looking for a star without the wars

Windows of opportunity, or are there just doors?

 

It’s never funny to be sent to the farm

And a safety pin can do some harm

You may never find a hat on a cat

And a skinny farm is for those who are fat

 

Words, wishes on the wall

Graffiti or art–it’s your call

I’m not confused, don’t worry about me

Just please explain Chicken of the Sea

Today’s PoHymn is read by Lily, thirteen years old, from Broward County, Florida

 

Donate Button

The producers of jonathots would humbly request a yearly subscription donation for this wonderful, inspirational opportunity

 

Cracked 5 … June 5th, 2018


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3694)

cracked 5 logo keeper with border

Other Indiscretions That Might Be Considered for Additions to the Seven Deadly Sins

A. Laughing at a network sitcom

 

B. Bringing a Bible to a party

 

C. Referring to your dog or cat as children

 

D. Repetitive farting on a long car trip

 

E. Letting a fly into the house

 

Donate ButtonThe producers of jonathots would humbly request a yearly subscription donation for this wonderful, inspirational opportunity

 

 

 

Cracked 5 … May 22nd, 2018


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3674)

cracked 5 logo keeper with border

Names for Farts That Sound Like English Royal Families

 

A. The Earl of Stench

 

B. Richard the Lion-Farted

 

C. The Stuart of Squirt

 

D. Mary Queen of Pots

 

E. The House of Tooter

 

Donate ButtonThe producers of jonathots would humbly request a yearly subscription donation for this wonderful, inspirational opportunity

 

 

 

3 Things… March 29th, 2018

Jonathots Daily Blog

(3626)

That Make You Attractive and Valuable to Others

1. Humble

Humility is doing what you do instead of talking about it

2. Merciful

Mercy is knowing you can’t change people so you finally stop trying

3. Humor

The warmth of your peace of mind should arrive three seconds before you start speaking or doing your thing

 

Donate Button

The producers of jonathots would humbly request a yearly subscription donation of $10 for this inspirational opportunity

%d bloggers like this: