3 Things… March 29th, 2018

Jonathots Daily Blog

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That Make You Attractive and Valuable to Others

1. Humble

Humility is doing what you do instead of talking about it

2. Merciful

Mercy is knowing you can’t change people so you finally stop trying

3. Humor

The warmth of your peace of mind should arrive three seconds before you start speaking or doing your thing

 

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Cracked 5 … February 20th, 2018


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Reasons Why the U.S. is Having Some Difficulty Winning Medals

 

A. Turns out the Norwegians are quite good

 

B. We bought our skis in China

 

C. It’s really, really, really, really cold

 

D. Other nations didn’t get the memo that “America is exceptional”

 

E.  Hypnotized into losing by rogue North Korean spies

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Cracked 5 … January 23rd, 2018


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Special Sporting Events Which Once Again Have Been Rejected for the 2018 Winter Olympics

A.  International Snowball Hats

 

B.  Nordic Poleless Skiing

 

C.  Ladies Figure Slush Skating

 

D.  Three-Man Bob Slobbering

 

E.  Frisball (deflated basketballs are tossed through the air to the goal to score points)

 

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Cracked 5 … December 5th, 2017


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Some people are offended by the religious implications of saying “Merry Christmas.” Here are five renditions they might find even more unsettling:

A. Happy B-Day, Baby J!

 

B. A baby shower for Mary and Joseph (bring a gift)

 

C. Save 50% at the Savior Birth Extravaganza!

 

D. Merry Manger Moments

 

E. Happy Jesus-mas

 

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Cracked 5 … November 28th, 2017


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Reasons that Leftover Turkey Often Tastes Better

A. Stewing in its own juices, it found some answers.

 

B. Not needing to compete against the arrogant Honey Baked Ham.

 

C. Spent some time in the “cooler”–got born again.

 

D. People are hungry again by Saturday.

 

E. Rejected at the original feast, it gained character.

 

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Cracked 5 … October 31st, 2017


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In This Present Day of Political Correctness, Here Are Some “Better Phrases” to Replace the Notoriously Challenging “Trick or Treat”

A. Dandy candy

 

B. Need sweet

 

C. Yummy for my tummy

 

D. Vegan pleasin’

 

E. Confection or contention

 

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Dudley … October 12th, 2017

 Jonathots Daily Blog

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DUDLEY

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