Cracked 5 … September 13th, 2016

 Jonathots Daily Blog

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Famous Last Words of the Dinosaur

A. “Yuk. Aren’t these tar pits sticky?”

 

B. “Nah…that doesn’t look like a meteor.”

 

C. “Ice age! Let it go!”

 

D. “You’re too critical. I think the raptors are getting nicer.”

 

E. “Excuse me–I misplaced my evolutionary chart. What’s next?”

 

 

Jonathan’s Latest Book Release

PoHymn: A Rustling in the Stagnant

Click here to get your copy now!

 

 

Just a Show Before We Go… October 1, 2012

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As Neil Sedaka once phrased it, “Waking up is hard to do.” (I might be mistaken on that. It could be ‘breaking,” “making,” “shaking,” or even  “raking” up.) Actually, waking up in the morning is one of those things we should get better and better at as we get older.

After all, no one wakes up worse than a baby. Even though some of us more mature individuals may want to open our eyes and scream into the surrounding room, pleading for nourishment and maybe even a change of our diaper, we refrain.

We certainly should learn how to wake up better than an adolescent. Once children reach about the age of thirteen, they become frightened to death to go to sleep and then think that “noonish” is the beginning of the day.

Actually, I rather enjoy waking up–as long as I’ve shed all fantasy about how life works and have ceased to insist that I somehow manipulate circumstances to my advantage.

Today I am waking up in Kent, Ohio, and heading off to Conneaut–about a two-hour drive–to do a show which will also double as a filming, to make a video of our presentation for those individuals who would like to purchase it because they want to share it with friends or just want to go home to try to figure out what they just saw.

The only thing I am certain of is my abiding security in uncertainty. Even though I greatly believe there’s a God in heaven, I do understand that for scientific and realistic reasons He has put a natural order into effect in the daily affairs of this planet’s activities.

We call this force Mother Nature.  It is mis-named. It would be better refered to as “Teenage Boy Nature.” Because the system that maintains our life has the temperament of a sixteen-year-old kid with raging hormones, inexhaustible energy, an unwillingness to do chores upon request and a sluggishness in getting started.

I had to reflect last night when I watched the fine folks in Texas with their present raining and flooding. I was down there for the past two years and the main subject of conversation was drought. You would have sworn by listening to the populace that there was a complete imbalance in the world and that “something needed to be done” or all the water supplies would dry up. Now they’re trying to figure out how to escape from the moisture.

You see what I mean? The natural order is a sixteen-year-old boy, who never does anything in moderation. If we would just learn the process, we would be so much happier. During times of excess rain, build dams and store up. When you have a good week financially, don’t assume that next week is going to be the same. Balance out what comes your way, be it good or bad. The only thing that is really certain is that whatever it is, more than likely, to our taste, it will seem extreme.

It is obvious to anyone who has lived that the earth makes drastic adjustments. May I point out once again–they are drastic by OUR standards. As far as we know, the earth has survived an ice age or two, heat waves, droughts, floods, typhoons, hurricanes and forest fires–long before man was here to worry about it OR try to find a way to manipulate it. That’s why I believe that our journey through our earth-bound time is going to be a roller coaster rather than a well-planned picnic in the park.

So what do I know waking up today on my way to Conneaut, Ohio? I have plugged as many holes as possible, planned carefully and now am going to hang on tight to my seat in the van–and be prepared.

Here’s a little formula that will help you understand life. When the wheels get rolling, just remember:

• you’re going to get little of what you want
• some of what you need
• but much of what is available.

So if you find yourself walking outside to view overcast skies and your way of handling that particular surprise is to bow your head in prayer and ask for sunbeams, you probably will end up very miserable during your lifespan.

But if you can walk out and see overcast skies and either grab an umbrella or step back inside and conclude that it’s a wonderful day for paperwork with soup and grilled cheese, you will probably greatly enjoy the spontaneity around you.

It’s all in how you determine to wake up.

I am waking up to deal with the adolescence of nature, trying to bring my understanding that what becomes available to me in huge chunks on this lovely day will be my lot. I will tell you what happens in tomorrow’s column. There is one thing for sure, as I told you earlier. It undoubtedly will be little of what I want, some of what I need and much of what ends up being available.

The producers of jonathots would humbly request a yearly subscription donation of $10 for this wonderful, inspirational opportunity