Dear Man/Dear Woman: A Noteworthy Conversation … September 10th, 2016

 Jonathots Daily Blog

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Dear Man: Where have you been? I’ve been trying to get hold of you all morning.

 

Dear Woman: I can see that. Six missed calls. What can I do for you?

 

Dear Man: Listen, I didn’t believe it, but I heard through the grapevine that you went to a Donald Trump rally.

 

Dear Woman: You heard correctly.

 

Dear Man: Why would you do that?

 

Dear Woman: I was curious. I wanted to hear for myself what all the fuss was about.

 

Dear Man: Curious? How can you escape the fuss? It’s on the television twenty-four hours a day.

 

Dear Woman: But that’s their opinions. I wanted to draw my own conclusion.

 

Dear Man: Okay, I guess. Did you learn anything?

 

Dear Woman: I did. What I learned is that Mr. Trump answers a need.

 

Dear Man: A need?

 

Dear Woman: Yes. There are times when things are moving so fast that I just need everything to slow down a bit so my head can catch up. Gay rights, gay marriage, transgender, immigration, Black Lives Matter… It just crowds my brain. It’s not that I want to prevent these people from having a voice. I could just use some time to get accustomed to it.

 

Dear Man: Well, you need to realize, all these people have been waiting decades–sometimes centuries–for the basic rights that you take for granted.

 

Dear Woman: I don’t need your sermon. I get that. But it doesn’t change how I feel. The world seems dangerous, and when you see something dangerous, you want a weapon. You want to protect yourself. I’m sorry. Hillary Clinton just doesn’t seem like a weapon to me.

 

Dear Man: She’s got so much experience! Why can’t you see that? Donald Trump doesn’t know anything about the world.

 

Dear Woman: I agree. But it’s not a geography test. It’s not a civics exam. It’s about leadership. And I just don’t know if Hillary has it.

 

Dear Man: Why do you say that?

 

Dear Woman: Well, first, she can’t even manage her own email.

 

Dear Man: Not that old story! She’s answered that a thousand times.

 

Dear Woman: Yes, but it’s the same answer. “I made a mistake but I didn’t know it was a mistake.” Is that what she’ll do as President? Constantly making mistakes but apologizing to us for fouling up? And speaking of that, the main thing that bothers me is having Bill Clinton in the White House again.

 

Dear Man: He won’t be President.

 

Dear Woman: I got that. But he’ll be back. And the things he did the last time he was there to defile the Oval Office with his immorality were nasty. And the fact that Hillary stuck with him makes me believe she’s kind of … girly.

 

Dear Man: You mean you’re mad at her because she forgave her husband?

 

Dear Woman: I guess so. I would just find it easier to vote for Hillary Rodham than Hillary Clinton.

 

Dear Man: I get it. It’s because she’s a women Answer me three questions, without thinking too much. Number 1, do you think women are weak? Number 2, do you think women are more emotional? Number 3, are men smarter?

 

Dear Woman: Wow. I don’t want to do this.

 

Dear Man: Come on. Be honest.

 

Dear Woman: Okay. Are women weak? They don’t have the same muscle mass as men. Concerning the second question, I was always told women are more emotional, even by women. And concerning men being smarter, well..they do win more often on Jeopardy!

 

Dear Man: What?

 

Dear Woman: I was just kidding about the Jeopardy! thing. I suppose you’re going to say my answers prove I’m a male chauvinist.

 

Dear Man: No, they just prove that you would vote against Hillary because she’s a woman instead of based on her qualifications.

 

Dear Woman: I just don’t want any more Orlandos or San Bernardino terrorist attacks. I would like to scare the shit out of them–the terrorists, I mean. Hillary is more like a queen. She’s stately, polite, on-point, courteous. But here’s the problem–the world is filled with pirates. Pirates take down queens.

 

Dear Man: So what is Donald Trump?

 

Dear Woman: He’s a pirate. So it’s a pirate fighting pirates. See what I mean?

 

Dear Man: No, I don’t. Because with a pirate you get thievery, treachery and the danger that he’s going to make everybody walk the plank.

 

Dear Woman: Well, anyway. Do you remember that story of the man who came across two doors, and behind one was a lady and behind the other was a tiger?

 

Dear Man: I think so.

 

Dear Woman: You see, that’s our choice this time. A lady or a tiger. I just don’t know if the lady can get it done.

 

Dear Man: You know that’s very prejudiced.

 

Dear Woman: Yes. But I don’t think I’ll be the only one thinking about that when I walk into the voting booth.

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Jesonian: Three for the Road … May 25, 2014

Jonathots Daily Blog

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The weakness of religion is that it draws people to the ceremony of worship instead of the heart of God and empathy with their fellow-humans.

You can read it all through history. The same complaints that Jesus had toward the religious system of his day hold true two thousand years later with our particular derivation.

But honestly, it does little good to complain about religion, politics or immorality if you don’t have a solid idea as to what will work, and a pathway to the door of understanding.

In becoming a Jesonian follower instead of a typical Christian, who is constantly stirring the Old Testament with the New Testament in an attempt to keep peace, three ideas have to be placed in primary position, as the dictionary for defining the terms of our faith:

1. God created the earth without form–and useless.

Yes, kind of a mess. So He could work on it. God is a builder, not an apartment manager. He likes His universe and He likes people because we’re both fixer-upers.

2. God created people for companionship.

He already had angels to worship Him. He was already well-served. He had no intention of running our lives or even devising plans for us to discover in the midst of our confusion. Granting us free will, He gave us the ability to both walk toward Him and walk away from Him with equal dimension.

3. God created nature as a balance–an even playing field–and also as an environment for humans to take responsibility for, as their home.

Environmental issues are not “liberal” or “conservative.” They are spiritual.

I must candidly tell you, until these three ideas become our spirited journey, there will be a sensation of being lost instead of found.

It is the Jesonian way of looking at life:

• God is a Creator.
• I am His friend.
• The earth is our home.

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After an appearance earlier this year in Surprise, Arizona, Janet and I were blessed to receive a “surprise” ourselves. Click on the beautiful Arizona picture above to share it with us!

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Untotaled: Stepping 14 (July 22, 1965) Getting Over the Hump… May 17, 2014

Jonathots Daily Blog

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(Transcript)

It was a summer when my raging hormones were doing constant battle against my entrenched morality.

I was a good boy with a head full of bad ideas.

So when church camp rolled around, I had lost my earlier childhood passion for scripture verses and vespers, and was more intently interested in swimming at the lake and eyeballing the fruitfulness of the blooming damsels.

This year the church had decided to draft two older teens to act as counselors for us young’uns. They were named Jack and Jill.

Really.

They were three years older, which made them both extraordinarily intimidating and elevated them to the status of Olympian gods. They were so cool. Everything they did was cool.

So one day when they went up the hill together (not kidding) I decided to follow at a distance, careful not to be seen, to ascertain what such dynamic human specimens did in their free time.

They must have walked for about fifteen minutes before finding a very private clearing in the woods. Going over to a nearby maple tree, Jack lay down and Jill climbed on top of him, fully clothed–and then he rubbed his against hers to create theirs.

I was shocked, befuddled and completely titillated.

It was like watching zoo animals, except they knew algebra.

Trying not to stumble, I exited the scene, running back to camp to ask my friend (whose father was a doctor in Columbus and who seemed to know everything about everything) what exactly my eyes had beheld.

With the calm and studious nature of a professor, he explained that Jack and Jill were “humping.” I was a little put off by the term, yet everything I came up with–for instance, “rubbing” and “entangled”–seemed no better.

He said my particular viewing of humping was of the “dry” variety.

I was enraged.

I was engorged.

I was torn between my envious nature over their pleasure and my Biblical knowledge of the perils of fornication. So blending the two together–envy and disdain–I went to the pastor in charge of the camp and squealed on them.

He promised that no one would ever find out that it was me, and a meeting was planned to dismiss the two from camp due to their immorality.

Sensing their ultimate betrayal, Jack and Jill went on the “lamb” and Splitsville.

I felt bad.

Two reasons: I realized that I hurt two people to make myself look good, and secondly, I couldn’t get the humping vision out of my mind–not because it was unpleasant, but because secretly I wished it was me.

I learned a valuable lesson that year at church camp. It had very little to do with the Law of Moses or the major doings of the minor prophets.

I learned that it is my job to pay attention to concerns that pertain to me and to try to leave other people alone.

After all, we humans are a jumbled mess of emotion, spirituality, mentality and physical urges. To sit in judgment of one another sets up the scenario for our own comical fall from the throne of self-righteousness.

Because … when Jack goes up the hill and falls down, Jill often comes tumbling after. It’s just the way we are.

It’s all because deep inside of us, we are trying to … “fetch that damn pail of water.”

The producers of jonathots would humbly request a yearly subscription donation of $10 for this wonderful, inspirational opportunity

After an appearance earlier this year in Surprise, Arizona, Janet and I were blessed to receive a “surprise” ourselves. Click on the beautiful Arizona picture above to share it with us!

Click here to get info on the “Gospel According to Common Sense” Tour

Please contact Jonathan’s agent, Jackie Barnett, at (615) 481-1474, for information about scheduling SpiriTed in 2014.

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Arrest Obama … December 5, 2013

Jonathots Daily Blog

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As I drove off last night to Auburn, Georgia, to meet some delightful human folk, I was about to get on I-75 going south when I noticed a young man dressed in camouflage, running up and down the sidewalk, carrying a sign that read, “Arrest Obama.” He was screaming so loud that even though my windows were rolled up, I could hear his complaints with every rant and rave.

It gave me pause.

What causes us to believe that the inclusion or removal of certain factors from our lives will make things better, when we know, deep in our hearts, that we’ll still be stuck with ourselves?

Even if you gave this young man his wish and had the President of the United States arrested for whatever crimes the protestor deemed necessary, he would still have to go home, look in the mirror and deal with his bungles.

America has become victimized by the notion that changing our surroundings actually changes things.

Candidly, I don’t quite see the difference between the presidency of George W. Bush and Barack Obama. They both found themselves overwhelmed by a position they underestimated, surrounded by vicious critics, and locked out of means of leadership because of political parties grappling for power.

By the same token, you can go to your local church and hear messages of how sin and immorality is destroying our country, or on the other hand, how intolerance is debilitating us and we should do better.

We just don’t get it.

• President Obama is not my problem.
• The Republican Party is not my obstacle.
• Sin, degradation and all the flaws that are often flaunted in our culture are not what is holding me back.

Here is a simple two-step process which will give you the truth of the matter and therefore make you free:

1. I am my worst problem.
2. I am my best possibility.

I have just given you a paraphrase of what Jesus said when he explained to his followers that “the kingdom of God is within you.”

Whenever we look for a scapegoat or a reason for the destruction of society outside of our own efforts, we not only miss the boat, we sink the Titanic.

I don’t agree with things done by either political party. I have great differences with the religious system that exists in our country.

Here’s the truth: I don’t care. They don’t control my life. Honest to God, they rarely impact my life. What does bounce off of me everyday are my unresolved conflicts and trying to motivate myself to be creative and use my talents instead of allowing despair to render me immobile.

If we believe in God, we must understand that He breathed His life into us. Trying to find God in church, nature, other people, sermons or even the Bible will be impersonal, second-hand information. Finding God in your own heart by recognizing your own problems and tapping your abilities is the definition of true spirituality.

I felt great sadness for my brother screaming and yelling on the sidewalk yesterday. Not because of his politics, but because he is a victim of a fad philosophy which wants to blame the world for our own lives.

I am my worst problem. In like manner, I am my best possibility.

Once I come to terms with this, I can begin to be valuable to myself and others instead of a nit-picking old lady … fussing over the placement of the doilies.

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Click for details on the SpirTed 2014 presentation

Please contact Jonathan’s agent, Jackie Barnett, at (615) 481-1474, for information about scheduling SpiriTed in 2014.

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