Cracked 5 … September 22nd, 2018

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Jonathots Daily Blog

(3903)

Excuses Some Football Players Give for Enjoying Beating Up Women

 

A. Skin is soft and doesn’t scrape their knuckles

 

B. Don’t hit back very hard

 

C. A quick way to build up body strength and endurance

 

D. Draws other crazy women their way

 

E. Game suspensions give time for travel

 

The producers of jonathots would humbly request a yearly subscription donation for this inspirational opportunity

 

Cracked 5 … July 24th, 2018

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Jonathots Daily Blog

(3744)

Little Known Facts About Vladimir Putin

A. He wants to bury us–in glitches

 

B. His favorite color is pink

 

C. What he lacks in heart he makes up for in hate

 

D. He thinks pouty is sexy

 

E. He enjoys collecting the knuckles of his enemies

The producers of jonathots would humbly request a yearly subscription donation for this wonderful, inspirational opportunity

 

Cracked 5 … March 8th, 2016

 Jonathots Daily Blog

(2867)

Reasons for Hands Appearing Small

A. Too much soaking in Joy dishwashing detergent with lemon juice

 

B. Dwarfed by “Popeye the Sailor Man” forearms

 

C. G.K.S. (Giant Knuckle Syndrome)

 

D. Holding extremely large ball

 

E. Apparently, being Republican

The producers of jonathots would humbly request a yearly subscription donation of $10 for this wonderful, inspirational opportunity