Cracked 5 … January 18th, 2020

Jonathots Daily Blog

(4293)

The Worst Campaign Slogans

 

A. “I didn’t shoot anyone on 5^th Avenue.”

 

B. “At least I’m not colored, female, gay, a socialist or a psychotic liar.”

 

C. “Russia will bomb us if I don’t win.”

 

D. “I will put the ‘party’ into political party.”

 

E. “I have four illegitimate children, but they are all in the military.  Support my troops.”

 

 

Cracked 5 … January 11th, 2020

Jonathots Daily Blog

(4286)

The Real Reasons that Oscar the Grouch is Grouchy

A. He’s puke green.

 

B. He lives in abstract poverty in the trash cans.

 

C. He lost his beautiful singing voice to poor stitching.

 

D. His wife left him because she did not want to be ‘Laura the Grouch.’

 

E. He’s Southern Baptist.

 

Cracked 5 … January 4th, 2020

Jonathots Daily Blog

(4279)

A List of Why a Girl Named Jan Thinks “January” was Named After Her

A. She is positive that making such a claim is cute and adorable and everyone will think she’s funny.

 

B.  It’s not just for her, but “for Jans everywhere!”

 

C. Her mother told her when she was a girl that “UARY” was Latin for “beautiful.”

 

D. “Listen, no one questions April, May or June—all chick names.”

 

E. And for the record, no one calls it, “DANuary.”