Living a Legendary Life … November 1st, 2020

Just Downstairs

Benny loved his mom.  Of course, most kids do love their moms.  But his was stronger.  Benny believed he would love his mom if she weren’t his mom, if you know what I mean.

She always was happy.  She always seemed to have a story to go along with every problem and a joke to accompany every blessing.

They lived on the third floor in the Briargate Apartments. Benny used to complain about having to climb the stairs until his mother pointed out two very important points. “It’s special, Benny, to live on the third floor! First, we get all this exercise without having to pay for a gym, and then, when we finally get to the top of the stairs, we have the most beautiful view of everything in the whole town.”

Benny had to agree, although some nights, when he was particularly tired from school, the climb did seem arduous. But his Mom was right about the view. He always felt rewarded when he arrived at the top and saw vista before him.

Mom also made a point of making sure that Benny always was aware of the needs of others.

“Just downstairs,” she would say. “We need to think about the folks.  Maybe they don’t have as much as we do.  Maybe they are hurting.  Maybe if we make a few extra biscuits, we could take a couple to them after dinner.  Because just downstairs,” she would close, “there are always people in need.”

Benny wasn’t sure he agreed.  He knew that he and his mother were fairly poor and she had a difficult time making ends meet, although you could never tell by her disposition, nor did a word of complaint ever come off her lips.

“Just downstairs,” she would say.  “Those are the people in need.”

So mostly to make his mom happy, Benny visited a little girl in the apartment on the ground floor. (He figured she must be really downstairs.) Then he toted her books to school, and paid for her lunch twice a week–and made sure that when his mother made those “extra specials” that the little girl and her family got some. The little girl was very gracious and the family was grateful for the generosity.

Benny was about eleven years old when his mother became very sick.  Once again, you could hardly tell, except that she became smaller and frail and her skin turned very white.  But she still continued to tell Benny “just downstairs there were people in greater need.”

Benny had just turned twelve years old, in the springtime, when his mother passed away.  He didn’t have any other relatives, so the family of the little girl came to see him.

They asked him if he wanted to live with them now that his mother had passed on.

Benny said, “I don’t want to be any trouble.  I know that you—well—that you don’t have much money.”

The father, surprised, looked at Benny and then laughed.  “Didn’t you know?  We own this apartment building.  So I think we can afford one more mouth to feed.”

Benny was a bit bewildered but also delighted to be part of this new family.  He wondered if his mother had known that the father of this family “just downstairs” was the landlord.

He would never know. It didn’t matter. The words and beauty of her philosophy live on.  He never forgot what his mother said.  Because no matter how low you may get in your life, there is always someone “just downstairs” from where you are.

The only way to keep gratitude fully blooming in our hearts is by returning the little bit we can to those living beneath us.

Just downstairs—another step to living a legendary life.

Living a Legendary Life … October 25th, 2020

Sitting 2

A Trio of Trouble

There is a trio of troubled troubadours who raise their ugly heads to sing off-key tunes, causing all of humanity to suffer in the listening.

They tour together. They only believe in each other, and they foster the conditions causing all the pain experienced on Planet Earth.

Pretty dramatic beginning, don’t you think?  Now that I have your attention, let me introduce these dunderheads of defeat.

Insecurity

The mother’s name is insecurity.

She hounds, pecks and nags to bring about her will. That will is very simple:  to establish the need for love rather than a love relationship.  She points out flaws and never forgives them. She discourages all attempts at improvement. She leaves her household barren of basic human confidence.

Superstition

Then she turns to her sister, superstition, to explain the rules of operation. Superstition lays the groundwork for the reasoning behind all the insecurity.  Superstition fosters the notion that there are supernatural reasons for the most natural of events. Superstition warns of dangers which are never realized and promotes prejudices for the alleged protection of all. Superstition promotes ritual over rhyme, practice over discovery and dogma over true belief.

And then, she invites the big brother to come in to seal the deal.

Arrogance

His name is arrogance.

Arrogance has an excuse for everything. Arrogance is clothed in fakery and armed with ignorance. Arrogance flexes its muscle to prove superiority.  Arrogance is the enforcer of all that makes us insecure and all that causes us to revere the superstitious.

The trio rampage through the human fold like a wolf at night, destroying all semblance of innocence and all sensation of protection. They fear no one but continue their mission of mayhem, seemingly unchecked by any mortal force.

Their only weakness is that they don’t seem to be able to function alone. When separated, the true essence of their nature shines through and exposes them.

• Insecurity is like a jealous child.
• Superstition resembles a baffled bungler of misinformation.
• And arrogance is an ignorant brute.

Fortunately for all human beings great and small, there is a threesome that counters the efforts of this diabolical trio.

Acceptance

Standing firmly and strongly in an intelligent profile against Mother Insecurity is acceptance.

Acceptance is the perfect counter against insecurity because it dismisses the notion that there is a foregone conclusion.  Acceptance accepts–first, ourselves for who we are.

Then, with a tremendous boost of confidence, acceptance allows differences in others.

Acceptance brings the productive idea that we don’t have to reinvent ourselves but instead can work with the package provided.

Logic

Logic has been summoned to counteract superstition.

Logic rarely has an opinion, but poses the well-placed question.

Logic wants to know if there is any history to the notion.

Logic desires evidence.

Logic is the element of life that has historically dismissed the errant philosophies that have brought us near the brink of destruction.  Can there be anything more god-like than the probing question that splits the darkness and demands, “Let there be light?”

Logic becomes faith when enacted by people of passion.

Humility

And finally, there is humility, which, for some odd reason, has gained a reputation for being weak. However, humility is always the profile taken by any  intelligent soul who knows there is always more to learn.

Humility feels no need to supersede the will of others, but only wishes to be a part of the whole.

As in the case of insecurity, superstition and arrogance, our three friends–acceptance, logic and humility–gain strength through one another.

Leading a legendary life is a decision to accept who we are and the identities of those around us, while logically requesting an explanation for events and humbly placing ourselves in the flow of humanity instead insisting on an arrogant seat of power above others.

Two Households

The trio of troublers: insecurity, superstition and arrogance.

The trinity of triumph: acceptance, logic and humility.

But you can be certain of this:  you will most certainly belong to one family or another.

Living a Legendary Life … October 18th, 2020

Sitting 1

Seen in Secret

It really doesn’t make any difference to me what name you use. Perhaps someday, when we cross over the vast chasm of misinformation, we will discover that there is an actual name above all other names.

But for the sake of discussion in this book, please understand I don’t really care what name or title you use.

What I’m talking about, of course, is the name we prefer for that Unseen Beyond Us That Sees All.

Call him God, Allah, Jesus, Vishnu, Mohammed, Jehovah, Enlightened One or even Larry. It makes no difference to me. Even atheism will receive no condemnation from this author.

Yet in the practical application of our everyday lives, and for the sake of pursuing the excellence of a legendary existence, it seems to me that we must acknowledge an Unseen That Sees All — even if this personage is of our own creation.

So if you will allow me in this book, I will use the name Larry.

Yes, Larry.

A Generic Deity

I know this may upset the religious soul, but my main problem with organized religion is that it worships a god who shows up for praise and worship and then disappears, leaving us, during the rest of our week, to our own devices.

The result is that some of the most avid followers occupying mosque, church, synagogue and monastery are also the greatest agnostics in the world. They have a form of godliness but deny the real power and message of a lifestyle. And here is how I describe that legendary lifestyle:

We believe in order to receive, becoming more generous to ourselves and more open to others.

Now, this should be the conclusion of a spiritual encounter. Alas (as they used to say) religion tends to be the disease infesting and infecting us.

So for the sake of this sitting, please allow me to call this unseen presence, Larry. I think it will prevent any disgruntled religious folk from feeling I expressed favoritism. And to those not inclined to any formal religion at all, it will introduce a friendly, neutral presence

Larry is of us. Larry knows how we work. He knows our drawbacks.

Our greatest weakness? Theory over substance. We prefer discussion to decision. We relish committees to commitment and favor argument to agreement. You see it in the church, in business, in politics and even in entertainment. Why is this?

Because laziness is our mooching second cousin and fussiness our adopted Jewish mother. Therefore, mulling over principle robs all the time for principled action. Political maneuvering eliminates policy change.

Larry knows our weakness. Maybe it’s a creative flaw — a design malfunction. Maybe it’s a symptom of general wear and tear. Or, more likely, it’s deterioration in our consciousness.

We have chosen repeating over repenting. Yes, repeat over repent.

After all, spirituality in theory is interesting. On the other hand, spirituality in practice is a festering reminder of our inadequacy. So it’s much easier to believe that Larry extends grace to us, cutting us slack for our shortcomings and allowing us to muddle on in our lives in some sort of bewildered dream cloud. But there is a shocker:

Larry Sees

Even in the moments when we feel like it doesn’t make any difference — those times we think that effort is anal — Larry sees.

It is important to know that we are not alone in our actions. Or perhaps better phrased, our inactions. Because most of the sins of humans are transgressions in omission instead of commission. In other words, we fail most often by delaying, not by prematurely jumping in.

We have trained ourselves to be spectators in our own lives, victims of chance and circumstance, adrift on the seas of fate. Larry disagrees.

The first step to leading a legendary life is realizing that Larry sees, Larry cares and Larry is prepared to reward those souls who dare to become intimately involved in their own lives by making quality choices.

For Larry sees in secret. And once we bring our secret life under our own review, we begin to set in motion true empowerment to garner success. And what is that success? Real success comes from deriving soul satisfaction at the end of a well-thought-out day.

Yes, Larry sees in secret. Not in order to punish, but rather, to alert and bestow benefit upon those folks who become caretakers of their own space.

But how do we override the sensation that some things just really don’t matter?

1. Slow your life down

Take the time to enjoy the time to redeem the time to have the time to create the time to make the time mean more.

And this isn’t just another “stop and smell the roses” speech. This is actively avoiding the horrendous practice of multi-tasking (which is just producing the possibility of multi-erroring) and finding out the unexplored value of the common. For instance, the grocery store is not only stocked with food, but with people, surprises, deals, samples, and conversation for those shoppers who will slow the pace down a bit and take in the whole experience.

The jobsite is not merely the joint where we pick up our paycheck, but rather, a place to rehearse excellence, interact with people who disagree and discover better use of time and energy.

Larry sees — not because he’s nosy, but because Larry knows we are better people when we do more than hit our marks but instead, pace ourselves and enjoy the journey.

2. Notice

We are a visual people needing a vision. There are others trying.

Notice them.

For instance, every morning, Larry and Nature put together a fireworks extravaganza that we glibly call “dawn.” And every night they repeat the process — dusk. Notice.

Notice one thing today that you did not notice yesterday. Then you’ll have three hundred sixty-five things in your bank of discovery at the end of the year — not to mention the interest you have earned from other folks around you.

3. Acknowledge

There are people who are trying to be involved with others by being more attentive to their own life. Acknowledge when you see them already doing what you want to do. Acknowledge courtesy. Acknowledge excellence. Acknowledge tenderness. Acknowledge awareness. Acknowledge when someone has pursued something further than expected.

There are people who have figured out that Larry is watching.

The instant we contend that there are no caring people, someone will crop up in our midst and do something really delightfully human — human in the sense of how we were intended to be. Surprise!

What is the purpose of possessing the greatest brainpower on the planet and using it to stumble through a series of repetitive chores?

What is the value of having a capacity to love at a fevered intensity and yawn our way through a bunch of boring relationships?

To live a legendary existence means we must live as if we understand that we are seen — even in our secret moments.

Larry isn’t trying to condemn us, but rather, motivate us to become keepers of our own destiny.

Larry is watching because he gives a damn–and he hopes that we can learn to feel the same way.