Jonathots Daily Blog
(4445)

I don’t like to lose.
Maybe no one does.
There is certainly no celebration going on in the locker room of the vanquished team.
No retelling of dropped balls, missed tackles or fumbles.
Losing is intolerable in its inception but even more lonely in its conclusion.
There will certainly be no fellowship in hell for those who are self-condemned to dwell in the loneliness of ineptitude.
I once walked off a football field having been thoroughly beat up—64 to nothing. And yes—it felt like just me—like I was whipped, dragged and humiliated by eleven bullies. My teammates sat in silence, with an occasional sob.
I don’t like to lose.
I don’t keep old raffle tickets which failed to deliver the prize.
I don’t have video footage of me coming in fourteenth in a talent contest.
Yet today I feel like such a goddam loser.
I’m white.
But the only privilege I seem to garner from this statis is the curse of achieving my rank through vile prejudice and bigotry.
It is Juneteenth.
Yet do I have a right, as a white, to even mention it?
What would be my statement?
“I’m so glad my relatives stopped owning yours. Just for the record, I would never have bought you.”
Yuk.
It’s like working really hard to be at the top of your class and then realizing when you got there, everybody hated you.
I’m white.
I’m sorry.
I don’t mind saying I’m sorry.
I understand why it’s necessary for me to be sorry.
But I don’t feel better after I say it.
It just doesn’t seem enough.
Maybe it’s because racism has never died.
Maybe it’s because there’s a whole region of the country which still thinks the Civil War was a grand cause.
Maybe it’s because I’m part of a race that shoots black people in the street and applauds them when they run in a sports arena or dance on a video.
I don’t know how to be white.
It doesn’t matter—whether I know how to do it, I still get the benefit. Or can we call it a benefit? It’s more like the spoils of a war, where the other side wasn’t even allowed to fight.
I want to say something, but everything comes across as anemic as the color of my skin.
I want to be one of those whites who’s “a dude” instead of one of those whites who’s really just crude.
But the harder I try, the worse I look.
Because this problem is not going to be salvaged from destruction by platitudes or promises.
It’ll take a generation—maybe two—before we can even begin to trust each other.
Because while I listen to the news, which implores me to be more tolerant, evening television is still about murderers and rapists, who are usually “colored in” with dark ink.
I just wanted to let you know that I don’t like being this loser.
And I just wanted to let you know that me complaining about being a loser is really a loser thing to do.
I wanted to say, “Happy Juneteenth,” because I am happy about it. Not happy in the sense that I personally was awarded liberty, but happy because hopefully, we can reach a point when we don’t have to award it.
It’s a given.
I don’t like to lose.
If there’s a way out of this, I will find it.
If there’s an opportunity to remain silent, but still be actively involved in reparations for the sin of our country, I want to discover it.
I don’t want you to listen to me whine.
But I’m also not going to watch “Roots” one more time to make sure I’m aware of what slavery was.
Somehow or another, you and I need to go forward trusting each other—that we got the message.
I don’t know how that can happen.
But it’s a nice thing to write down as a goal on a Friday afternoon.
And belief in it, pursuit of it and faith that it’s possible…
…makes me feel just a little less like a loser.
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G-Poppers … September 29th, 2017
Jonathots Daily Blog
(3444)
G-Pop is encouraged.
While other folks are sorely distressed over the fussy argument about the correct posture to take in honoring the National Anthem, G-Pop feels the discussion is not only warranted, but well overdue.
Somewhere along the line, we’ve defined peace as being a lack of conflict. Actually, peace is the creative resolution of conflict.
Therefore, it is misplaced idealism to contend that human beings will agree, or even follow a code of ethics or morals from a single source. It’s never going to happen–not in the United States, where we tout justice for all.
The reason G-Pop is encouraged is because the balance in patriotism has been askew for many years.
There was a time when those who disagreed with the war in Vietnam were considered traitors. Now they’re regaled as prophets.
In the early part of this century, we were convinced that supporting the troops meant rubber-stamping the campaign in the Middle East, which now lumbers along, tripping over its own red tape.
May I offer a definition for patriotism? Patriotism is loving my country so much that I will disagree with the stupidities that rise up to tempt her.
Candidly, there is much that the black athletes in the NFL can learn from those who take a rigid salute to the Star Spangled Banner. Equally, those who think they have cornered the market on nationalism should certainly stop off and take a look at the neighborhoods that these talented athletes grew up in, and the brothers and sisters who concern their hearts.
It’s a simple process. You can do it for the nation, you can do it for your marriage, and you can do it in your personal life:
1. What are we doing right?
There are many things that are honorable and even eternal about this country. Criticism can take a temporary back seat to celebration. Let’s find what rings all of our bells before we get too specific about our “favorite chime.”
2. What are we doing wrong?
Anyone who insists that a nation is incapable of error simply by its name or birthright needs to read the Good Book and comprehend that God doesn’t call only people to repentance, but also countries and ideologies. There is much wrong with this country. It won’t kill us to know this. It won’t destroy us to admit it. And we do not need to be at each other’s throats in order to generate dynamic plans.
Which leads to:
3. How can we do more right without doing wrong to each other?
I have absolutely no authority to make fun of someone who stands at attention and salutes the flag when Francis Scott Key’s song is played to honor our country. Likewise, I have no purpose for condemning those who sit or take a knee to express that they are not abandoning this nation in despair, but are demanding that certain ailments be treated.
When the flag becomes more important than the freedom and the integrity of people, we are too engrossed in the flag.
When our cause seems more relevant and valuable than respecting those who take a more traditional profile to loving this country, then we are equally as ignorant in our understanding of liberty.
So I honor my country as I tinker with her.
I stand with those who stand, and I kneel with those who kneel–as we pursue improving the true expanse of freedom.
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Tags: athletes, conflict, creative resolution, criticism, distressed, flag, Francis Scott Key, G-Poppers, Good Book, idealism, Jonathan's thoughts, justice for all, liberty, Middle East, National Anthem, NFL, patriotism, Star Spangled Banner, take a knee, United States, Vietnam