Sit Down Comedy … January 17th, 2020

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Sit Down Comedy

There are many ways to win the immediate approval of an audience.

You can:

  • Compliment their city.
  • Tell them how beautiful they look.
  • Inform them you have two children, but parenting seems to “escape you.”
  • Say “God bless America.”
  • Make sure they know you support the troops.
  • Tell them how much you love your wife, and you know that she’s “the boss.”
  • And of course, you can always call them exceptional.

Or you can say “America is exceptional.”

Most of these methods work real well because they feed on a common misconception: We’re happier when someone panders to us. Actually, in the long run we’re happier when someone alerts us to our obvious flaws.

I, for one, have no problem saying that America is exceptional as long as we determine the definition of “exceptional.” At the heart of the word is another word, which is “except.”

Except means to leave something out, to delete or to rid yourself of it—making sure it is not attached to you in any way, shape or form.

Exceptional is when you live around “crazy” but insist on removing that temptation from your mission.

To be exceptional, you have to accept what needs to be excepted.

If you don’t, you just end up being mediocre.

I agree that America has flirted with being exceptional. There have been times when we have made a stand as a nation—against barbarism, fanaticism and bigotry.

Then again, there are times when we stood in line to imitate the insanity of the world around us.

But let us presume that we actually want to be exceptional.

Then we must realize that we can only have freedom of speech when those words do not attack the freedom of another.

We can worship—but we have no right whatsoever to hate people. We must decide that hating people, disincluding people and despising people has no religious profundity.

If we’re going to be exceptional, we have to state loud and clear that it’s okay to be a politician—except you can’t lie.

You can be a parent–except you can’t be a hypocrite.

You can be a man–except you can’t hurt women.

You can be a woman–except you can’t hate men.

You can be in business–except you can’t cheat your customers or fail to take care of your employees.

If we truly want to be an exceptional nation, we must accept what we have to except from our conduct.

You can be a leader, except you must not act like a master.

You can be intelligent, except you must use it and therefore prove it.

Let’s work on being exceptional.

Let’s find out what is causing this world to be so uncertain and filled with tribulation and use our good cheer to overcome that imbalance by being the exception, and therefore becoming exceptional.

Truly, may the exception prove the rule.

The Z Word … July 30th, 2019

Jonathots Daily Blog

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THE

Image result for gif of letter z

WORD


And finally, the Z word that should never be spoken or written again is:

Zealot

A zealot is a person who, though still human, becomes obsessed with a divine calling to be supremely right and to manifest the conviction through:

Fanaticism and an uncompromising attitude

I have found it

It is good

I am right

It is perfect

You must leave it alone

I will fight you over it

This is what makes a zealot. It is very easy to become a one. It occurs between step 2, “It is good,” and step 3, “I am right.”

For since we wear skin and are prone to error, we should never translate the goodness we experience as being a definitive sign that we’re right.

Everything that happens after that proclamation of rightness is deeper and deeper wells of arrogance drudging up more and more of the filth of selfishness and eventually violence.

I have found it.

Great. This is good. This is a bold statement that is still acceptable. But at no time during your season on Earth are you ever going to be able to say, “I am right.” As soon as you do, you trigger the need to cheat, lie, abuse and curse your way into proving that your profile is accurate.

Zealots are never good.

Zealots never achieve anything except proving that pride goes before every fall.

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The I Word … April 2nd, 2019

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THE

Image result for gif for the letter I

 

WORD


The I Word is Ignorance

I am reminded of the passage in “A Christmas Carol,” where the second of the Three Spirits warns Ebenezer Scrooge, when unveiling the two children of humankind beneath his robes.

He says, “Beware them both in all of their degree, but most of all, beware this boy—for on his brow I see that which is written, which is Doom, unless the writing be ceased.”

And the boy’s name was Ignorance.

Ignorance may be one of the few words in the English language which is used both as a taunt of criticism and a badge of pride. It evokes a situation in which we choose to ignore that which is obvious, that which is blessed, that which is praise-worthy and that which is true, in favor of a mythical tale often of our own making.

It is dangerous—especially when flaunted by those who seem to be totally content with their lack of knowledge and education and have begun to wear their misinterpretation as proof of simplicity instead of simply lacking proof.

Ignorance says, “I will ignore any opinion that differs from mine.”

Ignorance also proclaims, “I will call those who disagree with me ignorant.”

And most notorious of all, Ignorance closes out its rampage with, “I will lie to maintain my ignorance.”

It is a word we must cease using, because it has no power as an excuse and becomes a vicious attack when pointing the finger at another, rendering the accuser the villain.

 

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Sit Down Comedy …March 1st, 2019

Jonathots Daily Blog

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I do not want to expel my innermost feelings, like some sort of nattering ninny in a room which is progressively disinterested. After all, in our society, we encourage one another to be honest, when what we really mean is honestly lie.

How are you?

Fine.

How’s the family?

Busy.

Got any plans brewin’?

Oh, just the usual.

Have you had any deep emotional or spiritual experiences which have transformed you into a new creature in your journey on Planet Earth?

What??

With this in mind, I have decided to candidly present to you my feelings about dying—that moment when I will leave this Earth, or at least contribute my dust to its topsoil.

I want people to be devastated.

I want slobbering sobs.

I want people wondering whether they can go on without me.

I want my demise to be a topic of conversation beyond a single news cycle.

I want people to remember things that are probably fictitious, but still cast me in a great light.

I want people to note the vacancy left behind by me checking out of the room.

I want loved ones to keep loving me with the same intensity they did when I was alive—except having it enhanced by the realization that I am no longer among the tax-payers.

I want to be valued.

This is probably why I do noble deeds—or at least attempt to. Of course, there is an altruistic part of me that really does give a damn and wants to help people, but I also want to be remembered as someone who lended a helping hand.

I’m not one of those Bible-thumping sorts who believe “this world is not my home” and “I’m just passing through.”

I want an empty chair at the table, so people will remember I once filled it—often gluttonous.

I want to be treasured, and if that means my loved ones lose a few hours of sleep, shed some tears and shake their heads, speaking of how unfair it was for me to be taken, then so be it.

Of course, I also realize that much of this is highly unlikely. With the several thousand people I may know, and the several hundred who have personal contact with me, and the few dozen who share intimate details, I will be very fortunate if there is one.

Yes, if there’s just one person who gets to the funeral luncheon and can’t eat because I’m not there.

If there’s just one who sits around with other people, refraining from discussing how good the honey baked ham truly is, it will be sufficient.

If there’s just one who sits in a dark room and conjures memories that are so rich and full that it seems my presence hangs in the air, it will be enough.

Because that one person could remind the others, and then the others can be stirred to good thoughts.

I know it’s silly. I don’t care.

I don’t want to be part of a genealogy. I don’t want to slip through the cracks of a gravestone.

I want one blessed, holy, sweet person to wonder what he or she is going to do since I have vacated the space.

Just one.

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PoHymn: A Rustling in the Stagnant … January 24th, 2018

 Jonathots Daily Blog

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Serve

When you fail to perform as the monster thinker

Serve

When you are declared a monster by those who think

Just serve

When the dark bounces its way back into your house

Be of service

If you trip on your lie in a passage to the truth

Serve with gladness

Finding the one you love has love for another

Serve patiently

Suddenly your sins find you out

Serve in tears

Winning the lottery on the same day your rich uncle dies, leaving his fortune to you

Serve humbly

Alone in a lonely room on a lonely night

Hold serve

The answer to all we mention

To every mortal question

Is to stand and muster great nerve

Then…

Serve

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3 Things… November 23rd, 2017

Jonathots Daily Blog

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You Do That Let People Know That You Can Be Trusted

1.  You are not shocked, offended or defensive about making a mistake.

 

2.  You hear other opinions and may even use them.

 

3.  You confess your lie before getting caught.

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Cracked 5 … February 14th, 2017

 

 Jonathots Daily Blog

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cracked 5 logo keeper with border

New Names for the Attitudes Settling into Our Society

 

A. Obstipissed: “I am stubborn and angry.”

 

B. Femiknows: A woman who still believes in equal rights but has given up on it actually happening

 

C. Lietrust: The confidence you have in someone because you know they will always fib

 

D. Christican: A churchgoer who worships God in the image of Ronald Reagan

 

E. Demojeez: A politician who thinks Jesus wears Crocs and gives out toothpaste, condoms and soup at the homeless shelter

 

cracked-5-ronnie-reagan

 

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