Cracked 5 … October 19th, 2019

Jonathots Daily Blog

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Cracked 5

Reasons It’s a Bad Idea to Give College Athletes Money for Playing

 

A. They are still crazy-ass teenagers and will get stoned and kill themselves.

 

B. They will grab the dough, skip town and LMAO in the Caribbean

 

C. They will want a raise on Month Two

 

D. Their wrecked cars will be piling up in the dormitory parking lots

 

E. It’ll be difficult to figure out the 72 cents on the dollar to give to the females

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Cracked 5 … October 12th, 2019

Jonathots Daily Blog

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Cracked 5

Really Horrible Ideas for Movie Plots Based on the Month of October

A. Octo-Beer: a researcher mysteriously discovers a cure for cancer, using beer from a German Octoberfest, only to have his data stolen by a jealous winery.

 

B. Octo-Puss: a cartoon cat discovers he was born with only eight of his nine lives. Will he find the lost life before it’s too late?

 

C. Octo-Schmocto: a hair-brained comedy about a rabbi from New York City who invents a Yamakah that massages your head while you wear it, stimulating brain activity. The problem? He must sell one million of the little hats before Halloween, or the loan sharks will come and kill him. Comedy ensues.

 

D. The Search for Green October: a climatologist attempts to extend summer into October by placing space heaters in the woods. His plans “Fall” short.

 

E. Octo-Bear: a man-eating grizzly roams the hills of Tennessee, killing White Supremacists. Is it because the bear is black? Is he funded?

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G-Poppers … June 10th, 2016

 Jonathots Daily Blog

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Jon close up

G-Pop wants his children to understand the true plight of the poor.

For you see, progressive liberals contend that poverty is caused by lack. They think the top 1 % hoard finance from the 99%. They also have a deep conviction that the funds should be distributed more evenly, and that in doing so, the problem would be solved.

On the other hand, conservative traditionalists coyly assert that those who live in destitution hold a major responsibility due to an infestation of laziness. They would say there are plenty of jobs, but those who live in the “ghetto” are not willing to do them.

So while these two camps hurl rocks at one another, those who are struggling continue to suffer without ever being consulted.

G-Pop has taken the time to talk to people who are in need. The response is pretty universal.

Poverty is about location.

Even though lack and laziness come to play as byproducts of the circumstances, poverty begins with proximity.

In America certain areas are targeted as insufficient, dangerous and destitute of hope, and then we take our brothers and sisters, place them in that atmosphere and insist they thrive.

Their communities don’t have fresh produce, reasonable grocery stores, health clubs, libraries or safe parks for play. Instead, they are dotted with convenience stores, dark alleys, poorly lit streets, loan sharks, pawn shops and prostitution.

The reason? Racism–and the fallacious notion that “birds of a feather flock together.”

Once we’re safe in suburbia, we just don’t give a damn about “the bad side of town.”

We could hire the young people from the poor sections to paint, clean up, construct and organize their communities for brighter possibilities. Then we would be offering jobs–and the money paid to these young folks would be recouped through less crime and rehabilitation.

Progressives are limited because they only recognize the lack.

Conservatives are weakened by their penchant to characterize citizens as lazy. When people lack, they do lose hope–which can make them lazy. This is true.

But it begins with the old axiom: the key to all real estate is location, location, location.

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