Sit Down Comedy … December 13th, 2019

Jonathots Daily Blog

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Sit Down Comedy

The fellow told his buddy that he just saw the fattest guy he had viewed in months.

The lady at the deli remarked that she had met the kindest man.

The woman recalled that forty years earlier she was sexually harassed by a dude who was silly and too flirtatious.

The family on Laurel Street thanked God for the gentleman who helped pay their rent.

The little boys were so excited about meeting the guy at the mall, who they knew must be the real Santa.

The audience gave a standing ovation for the masterful performance.

The mentally ill man lamented the asshole he insisted ruined his life.

The married couple was humbled by the counsel from the man who assisted them in saving their union.

The sister-in-law was bitter because the brother missed his mother’s funeral.

The waitress stared at the huge tip in her hand, which came from the stranger.

The landlord was offended that his tenant skipped out, leaving unpaid rent.

The reader was transformed by the author’s prose.

In all cases, the person lamented and loved…

…is me.

We Are (The Jesonian Creed)… February 3, 2014

Jonathots Daily Blog

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We are blessed. holding hands

We are mourners, but comforted.

We are hungry and thirsty for better things, and end up filled.

We are merciful and in so doing, get our needful share.

We are pure in heart, which enables us to see God.

We are peacemakers and blessed to be called the children of God.

We are the salt of the earth.

We are the light of the world.

We are a city set on a hill for all to see.

We are not alone.

We are not even lonely.

We are loved.

We are possessed by love.

We are part of an ever-growing family.

We are perfect, even as our Father is perfect.

We are able to pray and be heard.

We can forgive and be forgiven.

We are given daily bread.

We can lay up treasure in heaven.

We are in no need of worrying.

We can seek first the kingdom of God and have everything added unto us.

We can stop judging, unafraid of being judged.

We are able to ask and be given.

We are able to seek and find.

We are able to knock and have the doors flung open.

We are given good gifts.

We can bear fruit.

We are able to bless the least of these.

We are known by God.

And we are built upon the rock, and even though the storms will come and the rains will pelt and beat upon us, we are not going to fall.

(Adapted from Matthew 5, 6 and 7)

 

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Click for details on the SpirTed 2014 presentation

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You Can Be … May 8, 2012

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You can be many things.

Limitation does not lie in the spectrum of your ability, but rather, in the perspective you hold about the world around you. All you have to do is respect Mother Nature, honor your creative Father and understand that life is neither a debate nor a popularity contest. It is a well-oiled, yet unpredictable piece of ongoing evolution, requiring humility, flexibility and perseverance.

You can be …

SMART–If you catch your dumb mistakes and begin to correct them before other people hone in on your weakness.

RICH–If you make more money than you spend for the rest of your life.

FUNNY–If you spend more time laughing at yourself instead of others.

POPULAR–If you’re willing to speak the truth with love and hang around until it’s proven to be true.

You can even be …

GROUCHY–If you’re willing to stubbornly continue your complaining, even when evidence has proven you to be outdated.

TALENTED–If you stop fussing about your lack of ability and begin to work with what you have.

SEXY–If you’re satisfied finding one person who is excited by your presence instead of needing to be enticing to everyone.

GENEROUS–If you accept the fact that the top dime of every dollar you make belongs to somebody else.

LOVED–If you are wise and do not demand that the folks around you give you attention, but rather, appear to be self-sufficient in a gentle way.

SPIRITUAL–If you have the gumption to cease and desist from being religious.

BEAUTIFUL–If you find the one thing that sets you apart and convince yourself that it’s a good thing.

You can also be …

PRESIDENT–If you can abandon your liberal or conservative agenda and allow yourself to become the spokesperson for all the people.

And you can be …

IMMORTAL–If something you are, believe or create can live on without the beating of your heart.

You can be many things. You must reject the foolishness of destiny, the limitations of discouragement and the fear of the unknown Because honestly, it is not that God has a wonderful plan for your life.

In His majesty and glory, He has provided a wonderful life … for your plan. 

  

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Six-Card Stud(y) … March 3, 2012

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Thinking that life is random, haphazard or even somehow targeting us for either blessing or expulsion may be the easiest path to becoming disgruntled, dissatisfied and depressed. We are human, and because we are, I think we are in need of two outstanding opportunities. We need to be both vulnerable and in control in alternating surges of power. 

That is why I contend that every human being born of woman is really dealt six cards–three cards are TO BE. And three cards are TO HAVE. Unfortunately, we are not given specific instructions on how to play our cards in this game of life. But let me start off by identifying what the cards are and then we can chat about some possible applications. 

The three TO BE cards are: TO BE LOVED, TO BE HAPPY and finally, TO BE PRODUCTIVE. The three TO HAVE cards are: TO HAVE GOD, TO HAVE PEOPLE and TO HAVE MONEY. 

Just as in any other game involving a deck of cards, how you play your cards and when you play them makes all the difference in the world. For individuals who start out trying TO BE LOVED, gauging their level of happiness based upon the receptivity of others,often shrink back in sadness over rejection and end up non-productive. Some try to lead with a desire TO BE HAPPY, promoting an optimisitc view of life, and then either try TO BE PRODUCTIVE to get someone to love them or try to be loving, hoping it will be productive. They often end up leaving themselves at the mercy of the withholding nature of the human family. 

On the other hand, those other three cards–the TO HAVE ones–can be equally as difficult to discern. For after all, people who lead with TO HAVE GOD often grow impatient with other folks and angry about money–mainly because they lack it. People who lead off with money frequently sense the need to abandon people to gain additional profits and therefore, out of a guilty conscience, deny the presence of any God. It is tricky business–and there are even those reading this essay who might find such a representation of human life, paralleling a deck of cards, to be either frivolous or even sacrilegious. Yet if we begin to believe that every human being has different needs, different desires and ways of feeling and thinking, we create an alienation from one another which literally makes us feel like we’re on different planets while occupying the same one. Honestly, what use is there for women being from Venus and men being from Mars if we all live on earth? If we’re not in the pursuit of commonality shared by all, considered by all and pursued by all, we start believing that our own particular brand of righteousness is preferable and our rendition of iniquity less sinful. 

So here’s what I think. I, too, have been dealt those six cards–TO BE LOVED, TO BE HAPPY and TO BE PRODUCTIVE.. I also received TO HAVE GOD, TO HAVE PEOPLE and TO HAVE MONEY. My selection for placing my cards on the table is:

  • I will find something I can do TO BE PRODUCTIVE that allows, and even promotes a way for me TO BE HAPPY–so I am available and visible to the world around me TO BE LOVED. That takes care of my first three cards.
  • Now let’s play the others.I will respect and not judge those around me. so as TO HAVE PEOPLE, which creates the only path TO HAVE GOD, granting me a procedure to prioritize my life and initiate ideas TO HAVE MONEY. 

There you have it. Because too much happy makes you sappy, and love without evidence of our personal value is often unrequited.We certainly know that those who are religious and intent on pleasing God often find themselves overly critical of people (who are the apple of His eye) and truthfully, it is human nature to give to those that we see are already open and giving to others–because then we feel the freedom to impart to them good measure, pressed down and running over. 

You may wish to complicate this process or may think that I’m not playing with a full deck. That’s fine. But I think you will discover, realizing that all of us are given the same opportunity by a God who is no respecter of persons, that accepting that we all have the same cards and nobody is being dealt from the bottom of the deck, makes us more willing to work with what we have and more merciful to the plight of others. 

It is a six card stud(y).

Pull up a chair, Sit down. Can we deal you in? 

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Below is the first chapter of Jonathan Richard Cring’s stunning novel entitled Preparing a Place for Myself—the story of a journey after death. It is a delicious blend of theology and science fiction that will inspire and entertain. I thought you might enjoy reading it. After you do, if you would like to read the book in its entirety, please click on the link below and go to our tour store. The book is being offered at the special price of $4.99 plus $3.99 shipping–a total of $8.98. Enjoy.

http://www.janethan.com/tour_store.htm

Sitting One

 I died today. 

I didn’t expect it to happen.  Then again, I did—well, not really.

No, I certainly didn’t expect it.

I’ve had moments of clarity in my life.  Amazingly enough, many of them were in the midst of a dream. For a brief second I would know the meaning of life or the missing treatment to cure cancer.  And then as quickly as it popped into my mind it was gone. I really don’t recollect dying.  Just this unbelievable sense of clear headedness—like walking into a room newly painted and knowing by the odor and brightness that the color on the wall is so splattering new that you should be careful not to touch it for fear of smearing the design. The greatest revelation of all? 

Twenty-five miles in the sky time ceases to exist.

The planet Pluto takes two hundred and forty-eight years to circle the sun. It doesn’t give a damn. 

The day of my death was the day I became free of the only burden I really ever had.  TIME.

Useless.

Time is fussy.  Time is worry. 

Time is fear.  Time is the culprit causing human-types to recoil from pending generosity. 

There just was never enough time. 

Time would not allow it.  Remember—“if time permits …”

Why if time permits?  Why not if I permit?  Why not if I dream?  Why not if I want?  Why does time get to dictate to me my passage? 

It was time that robbed me of my soulful nature.    It was time that convinced me that my selfishness was needed. 

I didn’t die. The clock in me died, leaving spirit to tick on.  

So why don’t we see the farce of time?  Why do we allow ourselves to fall under the power of the cruel despot?  Yes, time is a relentless master—very little wage for much demand.

I died today. 

Actually … a piece of time named after me was cast away.

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