Sit Down Comedy … July 31st, 2020

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Sit Down Comedy

Old people talk about old things.

That’s how you know they’re old.

They think they’re relevant. They think they’re talking about new things.

But they’re wrong.

They are old people talking about old things, sounding an SOS:

Same Old Shit.

The trouble is, not all old people are collecting Social Security. Some of the old people talking in our generation are supposed to be young. But for some reason, they’re talking about old stuff.

I don’t know why.

The Civil War? Are you nuts? Are we really still discussing a flag of a group of rebellious traitors who wanted to subjugate a race of people to be their slaves and decided to fight on every flat spot in the Eastern U. S., to try to prove their point?

The Civil War is over.

It has been decided. Slavery is not coming back. So all your banners are outdated. If you’re still talking about it, you are goddamned old.

Abortion? This has been settled.

It’s a nasty procedure that no one really wants to claim but needs to be a freedom given to a woman—because it’s her body. Sure, we would hope that it would not be used as birth control, or a way to get even with conservatives. But the discussion is over. If you’re still talking about it—pro or con—you’re decrepit.

And referring to politics, I wouldn’t even know where to start.

Republican and Democrat? These are things my grandparents talked about. You can tell it’s old stuff. The parties still use flyers, bumper stickers, buttons, slogans, attack ads… Are you kidding me? This stuff is old for old.

The election is really simple. We need to put somebody in the government who will allow us to live our lives fruitfully, make sure the roads are paved, and don’t blow up the rest of the world. If you want to call those “issues,” then I guess you could have one of your debates.

I stand dumbfounded when I hear people talking about race.

Are we really discussing color? Because honest to God, so many people have tattoos, I don’t know what color they are.

I heard an old woman say, “I just don’t think it’s right for black people and white people to marry and have children.”

“Fine,” I told her. “Then you probably shouldn’t fuck a rapper. And maybe don’t watch somebody else do it either.”

I’m astounded when I hear old people talking about rich and poor.

It’s so OLD. Get what you can and help everyone else. How hard can that be?

And by the way, can anything be older than religion?

We spend all of our time in a church talking to people (who are wearing jeans and crocs) about patriarchs in Israel. Old people talking about old things—stinking up the joint with old.

Can we ever get over the idea that men and women have to fight with each other? It’s so damn old.  Maybe we could do something new.

We could counteract our entertainment and create shows where men listen, and women are reasonable.

It’s all about human rights.

We cannot let these unfortunate, mentally stalled old people continue to insist on the fact that a few human wrongs should still be discussed.

You can identify old people because they talk about old things in an old way.

I would think, after Covid-19, we should be able to hear a scream coming from America. “I don’t want to debate the issues anymore!”

Don’t we all want to live in an America where there are only two rules?

Do the best you can.

Help somebody out when you can.

 

Sensitize … June 21st, 2020

SENSITIZE 23

Every morning, Mr. Cring takes a personal moment with his audience.

Today: Bar fights are rampant in America. The bar fight raging over racism will only be stopped by one decision: to make racism illegal.

Click the picture below to see the video

Published in: on June 21, 2020 at 1:12 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Sensitize … June 5th, 2020

SENSITIZE 7

Every morning, Mr. Cring takes a personal moment with his audience.

Today: What is the reason for the bar fight between men and women?

Click the picture below to see the video

Published in: on June 5, 2020 at 2:53 pm  Leave a Comment  
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1 Thing We Know for Sure

We Are Not in Charge

The more we insist we are, the less power we possess.

The more we respect our surroundings, the greater our potential.

For you see, we came to Earth—Earth did not come to us.

Looking around at our times, we are suddenly struck with the realization that we are all the same.

There are no culture barriers.

This is something we manufactured because we had too much time on our hands.

Women are not inferior and men superior.

This was the makings for sassy TV—but an uncomfortable lifestyle.

Oh, by the way—we can survive with less, though more seems to be our favorite word.

Hugging is heavenly.

We are learning to mask our faces but unmask our hearts.

And once and for all, we’ve demonstrated, without exception, that worry is no damn good.

Guessing can be dangerous.

Thinking is like a prayer with knowledge.

Turns out that bitching, complaining and opinions are pretty much all the same.

Humor has become the gold that will actually bring back our money.

The virus is not impressed with our two-party system.

It mocks our checks and balances.

It humiliates our Declaration of Independence and Constitution—reaching every home, even our Gettysburg Address.

Since we’re not in charge, the only thing we can do is work on us.

The B Word … February 12th, 2019

THE

WORD


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The B word is bitch

In the urban dictionary, the word “bitch” has clumsily been defined as a term of power, but nothing could be further from the truth.

“Bitch” has one meaning and one meaning only: a person who is so unsatisfied that they must constantly complain.

Unfortunately, the mass of men in the human species contend, to some degree at least, that this is a valid assertion made about the female of the species. I don’t see men calling their male friends “bitch.”

The word pops to the forefront whenever any man feels that a woman is trying to become a human, and therefore needs to be trimmed back—exposed as a nagging witch.

Men want to marry their mothers, except…

Men want to marry someone who takes care of the house like their mothers—except in the bedroom, where she turns into a porn star. Once the thrill of the sexuality wears off, men tend to only hear their mothers talking at them. They lose interest and begin looking for porn stars outside the house.

The main reason men don’t want women to be human is that then men would have to be human, too. They would have to consider something other than hunting and might need to become fellow “nesters” with their mates. They would have to stop hiding behind their sexual drive and instead, use their appetites to engage their partners.

“Bitch” is a way of keeping women black. Yes, it’s just like using the “N word” to someone of African descent. It is a reminder to “her” that she will never, ever be considered an equal, and must be careful that she won’t be verbally, emotionally or physically abused by trying to gain equal footing.

Also, the parenthetical “bitch” that is taught by religion (“happy wife, happy life”) is used by giggling men talking about how overbearing women can be—pretending that they are submissive to this whining feminine attitude.

It is a man’s world.

And it will continue to suck until it becomes a human world—free of the word “bitch.”


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Dudley … April 27th, 2017

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DUDLEY

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Published in: on April 27, 2017 at 1:40 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Ask Jonathots… September 22nd, 2016

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Am I the only person who is disgusted by the 50 Shades of Grey franchise? Take away the “rich” aspect and it becomes an episode of Criminal Minds. Why are we teaching our girls and women that this type of controlling and manipulative behavior is all right?

It’s risky.

Any time you try to present common sense, you will run across a contingency who do not view themselves as “common,” and also think “sense” doesn’t seem as much fun.

You will be accused of being provincial, puritanical, Victorian or even bigoted.

Yet…

Sado-masochism is anti-woman. If projected against a male, it is also anti-man.

Even if the participants are willing, they are functioning from a wounded place–perhaps previous abuse–which now spurs their lust.

It is grounded in violence.

It is a reenactment. or at least a shadow, of rape and torture.

It is the removal of the tenderness of intimacy.

There is no excuse for it; there is no place for it.

We don’t condone a young girl who takes a knife and cuts her arm, as merely expressing her personal preference in pleasure. We realize that this self-mutilation is warning us of an inner turmoil.

In human sexuality there is no room for violence, pain, intimidation, control or domination. Human sexuality is actually the opposite. It is a humble and gentle opening of oneself to another human being, looking for confirmation instead of denigration.

In the pursuit of giving rights to all races, all religions and all sexual orientations, we must be careful not to include a general freedom for human behavior which is destructive.

Fifty Shades of Grey and Fifty Shades Darker are antiquated attempts by manipulative individuals to take the cause of human equality back centuries, when women were considered seductive because they were thrown down on the bed, averting their eyes in humiliation.

As I said, there is no excuse for it; there is no place for it.

There is no reasonable way to give it respect in our social order and still maintain the progress that men and women are pursuing to become human.

Simply stated, dehumanizing people destroys the human race.

The worst part of this treachery is that young girls are being taught, in a medieval way, that they are the “pleasuring holes” for domineering men, and that the painful process might just include increased pleasure.

It is foolish, it is selfish and it is damning.

I will say without any hesitation that anyone who laughs at a woman putting on a pair of handcuffs as a symbol of foreplay is encouraging this fallacy, taking one-half of our race and stripping them of their God-given power.

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