Cracked 5 … June 20th, 2017

---

Jonathots Daily Blog

(3343)

 

Five Father’s Day Gifts That Will Never Make It Out of the Box

A.  A “make your own” beef jerky kit

 

B.  A book entitled, “Finding the Mommy in your Daddyhood”

 

C.  A week’s membership at the “Him Gym”

 

D.  A bow tie–ANY bow tie

 

E.  An app with replacement words for cussing

 

Turning Kids Into Humans: (After 18) Grown Out … October 13, 2014

Jonathots Daily Blog

(2380)

 

Eighteen years of age.

You’ve made it. More importantly, your little bundle of joy has survived.

Now there are three choices: grow up, grow in, grow out.

Factually, there’s not much you can do about them growing up, although it is possible for them to get mature physically and still be babies internally.

But there is a new trend in America to ask our children to grow in, towards us. We decide to rescue them from life’s inevitable failures by welcoming them back, rent free, into the domicile, quite happy to be Mommy or Daddy once again. This practice has generated a class of people who originally were working but now are still searching, convinced they have plenty of time to assume human responsibility.

Your goal should be to help them grow out.

As quickly as you possibly can, develop an adult relationship with your son or daughter instead of a co-dependency. If you’ve taught them to be human beings by inserting empathy and gratitude into their everyday lives, then you should be confident of seven things that you mutually hold dear. Your child should know:

1. I’m no better than anyone else.
2. I’m responsible for my own actions.
3. I will work with what I have.
4. I know that truth is the gold standard in human relationships.
5. I look for opportunity, not short cuts.
6. I am a heart, soul, mind and strength creature.
7. I am fully aware that how I treat people is what I really believe about myself and God.

You may want to sit down and have a delightful conversation about these seven glorious ideas before they launch into their future

You haven’t lost an off-spring; you’ve taken eighteen years to mentor a friend. Enjoy them. And as they move about the Earth and realize that these platinum attitudes work, they will sing your praises.

Never forget that bringing creatures into this world is just a part of the biological cycle.

Turning them into human beings is the joy of the truly spiritual.

The producers of jonathots would humbly request a yearly subscription donation of $10 for this wonderful, inspirational opportunity

 

The Sermon on the Mount in music and story. Click the mountain!

 

Click here to get info on the “Gospel According to Common Sense” Tour

Please contact Jonathan’s agent, Jackie Barnett, at (615) 481-1474, for information about scheduling SpiriTed in 2014.

Click here to listen to Spirited music