3 Things… June 7th, 2018

Jonathots Daily Blog

(3696)

Former President Bill Clinton Might Consider to Share With Monica Lewinsky to Affirm His Stance on Gender Equality

1. “I took advantage of you. You were a star-struck young girl and I knew better.”

 

2. “I blamed you and sent the brunt of back-lash in your direction.”

 

3. “I failed to represent my core beliefs and values in dealing with you directly as a human being.”

 

Donate Button

The producers of jonathots would humbly request a yearly donation for this inspirational opportunity

Cracked 5 … February 9th, 2016

 Jonathots Daily Blog

(2839)

cracked 5 logo keeper with border

 

Since There Is Great Scrutiny on the “25-Second Explanation” of Senator Marco Rubio, Below Are the 25-Second Presentations of Other Candidates from the Past, Who Became President

A. I did not cross-dress in Delaware. I crossed the Delaware to address the enemy–a battle which I won, by the way. And furthermore, my teeth are not made of wood. I get cavities, not termites. (G. Washington)

 

B. I really didn’t split rails. I wasn’t always honest. My wife drove me crazy. I have smoked opium. I don’t really personally know any black people. (A. Lincoln)

 

C. I did Marilyn Monroe but she liked my brother better. I used a lot of double entendres about the “Cuban missiles.” And by the way, don’t drive in topless cars. (J. Kennedy)

 

D. By the mob definition, I am not a crook. By some definitions, I might be a crook. But let’s not be picky. I basically hated people, but still wanted their votes. I opened up China, so thank me the next time you get Takee-Outee. (R. Nixon)

 

E. I did not have sex with that woman. I did let her have sex with me. How can you say no to the dreams of young people? (B. Clinton)

 

Cracked 5 Presidents

Donate Button

The producers of jonathots would humbly request a yearly subscription donation of $10 for this wonderful, inspirational opportunity

 

You’re Not Ugly… January 7, 2012

(1,386) 

We made a mistake. We do that every once in a while … just to maintain an obvious profile of needful humility.

On Thursday night we told two ladies where we were going to be on Friday night, but unfortunately, the information we gave to them was incorrect. And also, the starting time of the event was actually a half-an-hour earlier. We didn’t do this to be mean or evasive–we did this because it was our time to establish our quorum of stupidity. When we returned to our motel room we realized our error, but it was too late because we didn’t know who the ladies were or how to get ahold of them.

Move ahead to Friday evening. I was about half-way through our program, in front of the delightful and inspiring folks of Port Charlotte, Florida, when in walked those two charming women whom we had accidently misled. Even though I was singing a song at the time, I had to chuckle in my spirit. I started thinking about what these two individuals had gone through to actually find out where we were, arrive and come through those back doors. First they went to the wrong church, sat in a dark parking lot, coming to the conclusion that this must not be the place. Then, checking all of their GPS information, they came up with the correct location, only to arrive and find that the program had already begun because we told them the wrong time. What remarkable human beings.

So after the program, when I was at my book table, they came up and were so gracious about the whole event that it nearly brought tears to my eyes. As they were about to leave, one of the pair whispered across the table to me.

“And by the way … you’re not ugly.”

Now that might seem like a strange statement unless you understand that in my program I make it clear to the audience that I am not a physically attractive person and being beautiful is not my aspiration. I’ve never had any problem with that. Actually, I’m quite amused with desperate candidates who are always trying to win the beauty contest of life. I work on my love of people, my talent and my flexibility much more than I do my appearance. I’m not ugly–I’m just homely. “Homely” is about two fewer bumps and bruises from ugly, and about a mile and a half down the road from good-looking.

It has actually done me well. For in my case, all the Monica Lewinsky‘s I have encountered have actually wanted to be an intern to my ministry and business–to learn what I know instead of desiring to give me a personal “inter-office memo.” You see, that’s good stuff. (One of the easier ways to avoid sexual misconduct is to be a whole lot less sexually attractive. Then you never have to find out if you’d actually slip-slide away…)

So when she said that to me–“you’re not ugly”–I laughed. She was so sweet and gentle, but it just doesn’t make a whole lot of difference to me. What did register on my awareness scale was her and her friend–making such a noble effort to reconnect with us and spend a few more minutes together before our earth passages end.

Don’t give up on humanity. You may feel free to turn your back on organizations and those who have incorporated their ideas into a cement block–but don’t ever give up on people. For I will tell you two certain things right now: (1) Never over-estimate the willingness of any system to actually adapt to what needs to be done; and (2) never underestimate the power of an individual (or in this case, two) who want to overcome the dorkiness of a system.

There you go. Oh, and I thought of a third one:

By the way … you’re not ugly.

**************

Jonathan wrote the gospel/blues anthem, Spent This Time, in 1985, in Guaymas, Mexico. Take a listen:

**************

To see books written by Jonathan, click the link below! You can peruse and order if you like!

http://www.janethan.com/tour_store.htm

%d bloggers like this: