Cracked 5 … September 12th, 2020

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Cracked 5

Evidence the Latest Tell-All Book Has Told Too Much

 

A. Your mother is quoting from it.

 

B. Top rock and roll band is using it for lyrics.

 

C. Dammit, you can’t help yourself. You have read it twice.

 

D. Yet you are pleased that Harrison Ford might play you in the movie.

 

E. It’s a guarantee that you will get both the sympathy and the pathetic vote.

 

 

 

 

Sensitize … September 8th, 2020

SENSITIZE 102

If you’re a human being, you’re not spiritual.

Cring explains.

Every morning, Mr. Cring takes a personal moment with his friends

Published in: on September 8, 2020 at 1:59 pm  Leave a Comment  
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1 Thing You Can Do That Leads to a Second Thing

DO IT

Recently I met a young man in his mid-twenties, and when I asked him how his romantic life was going, he said, “Not very well at all.”

So I probed. “What seems to be the problem?”

“No problem,” he replied.

“I’m just holding out for the right one.”

I retorted, “You know, you could do some wrong ones while you’re waiting for the right one.”

He didn’t think I was funny.

Maybe you don’t either.

Maybe you’re one of those kinds of people who plans, organizes and prays to a weary deity, hoping that one day your ship will come in, your pot of gold will appear at the end of the rainbow, or your dream will be fulfilled.

You do realize why they make movies about people who have such miracles happen.

They’re unusual.

Most of us never end up with exactly what we envisioned

But if we have any kind of creativity, inspiration or even sense of humor, we make it work.

But we can’t do that unless we’re out there doing something instead of constantly delaying.

If the chance of you being successful the first time you do anything is small, you might as well prepare for a second or third attempt at it—especially since forgiveness is so available for those who will humbly ask.

I, for one, have grown weary of waiting.

I do not think we have to be stuck with a government that is non-functioning.

Nor that two political parties afford us sufficient choices to run that government.

Also, God is not keen on doing my job for me—living my life.

I would rather go out and do something, learn from it and have a chance to try again than spend my whole life sitting around, trying to be patient, and never having the opportunity come my way.

  • If you’re going to practice, do it in front of an audience.
  • If you’re going to pray, do it under your breath while you’re working.
  • And if you’re looking for love, it sure as hell wouldn’t hurt you to start being lovable.

 

Cracked 5 … January 19th, 2019

 


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Cracked 5

Best Ways to Get the Elephant Out of the Room

A.  Claim to have a peanut allergy

 

 

B.  Mock his small trunk

 

 

C. Ask if it’s alright if you call him “Dumbo”

 

 

D.  Invite a tiger

 

 

E.  Screen the movie, “Elephant Man”

 

Elephant


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Cring & Clazzy … November 6th, 2018

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(tap the picture to see the video)

It appears that somewhere between the heart and the spirit, there is a desert. So dry is this place that people convince themselves it is impossible to cross the expanse from what we feel to what we believe. Some folks just feel, and others are convinced that believing is enough.

No sermon will ever make the journey.

No education is capable of spanning the region.

And no amount of prayer will ever take our feelings to what we believe.

There is only one passageway, and one alone.

It is the electricity and energy that transforms our feelings into a union with our beliefs.

It is called music.

And there is nothing to compare.


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Cracked 5 … August 29th, 2017


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cracked 5 logo keeper with border

Ironic Things Overheard on the Deck of the Titanic Shortly Before It Left on Its Final Journey

A. “Reginald, do we need more life boats?”

 

B. “No, Horatio, I just finally got the number even on both sides.”

 

C. “God, I hope I get to see an iceberg–a big’un!”

 

D. “I wonder if they’ll ever make a movie about this boat?”

 

E. “Tell the stewards to save the best wines and caviar for when we get closer to New York.”

 

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G-Poppers … January 6th, 2017

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Jon close up

Awakened in the middle of the night, G-Pop took an extra moment or two to ponder a question.

Actually, the inquiry in his mind was the by-product of a whole series of conversations and interactions over the holiday season.

He realized, looking at friends and relatives, that each one had acquired a profile based upon their opinion about Earth’s origins.

It’s really rather simple: Is Earth cosmic or is it comic?

Does the path we choose take us into a realm of greater understanding because we accept that there was some sort of Great Architect who laid foundations for future building, or is it all just jumbled atoms colliding into one another to generate mutations which gradually move us forward in tiny increments?

A third option is that it’s both–in other words, mutations which the Great Architect scribbled into the blueprints.

But here’s the difference–without believing in a cosmic intelligence, we are bound by luck or controlled by destiny.

If I’m manipulated by destiny, what in the hell would I care about my own personal attitude or sense of motivation?

And if it’s all luck, I’m just waiting to tumble into one bucket or another.

Yet if it is cosmic–if there’s a way things work and a function to the fiction–then even limited mortals such as ourselves could learn a note or two to participate in the concert band.

This was brought to G-Pop’s mind last night when viewing a project by loved ones, and wondering what prompted these souls to envision a world so out of control, so beyond redemption, that even the “good” characters in their little movie were inflicted with disaster.

Do we have any control toward our own happiness?Because if we don’t, three score and ten years is much too long to endure.

And if we do, then the entire focus of our educational system, our spiritual upbringing and our moral code should be to discover the messages built into the eco-structure which foretell of possibilities.

Is it cosmic? In other words, was there an energy that initiated energy here on Earth?

Is it comic? Is it a collision of haphazard events, with me being the latest accident?

Or was this Master of Wisdom able to blur and blend the two possibilities together–cosmic and comic–to confound the wise and stimulate the simple?

It’s a very important question.

It informs us whether we can master any of our future, or whether we’re at the mercy of the latest splatter.

As G-Pop was thinking, he realized that the difference between the words “cosmic” and “comic” is a single “S.”

Perhaps the “S” stands for Savior.

For in the cosmic world, we struggle and fall short–and find our ultimate peace in accepting grace from our Creator through the Savior.

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