3 Things … January 3rd, 2019

 

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Jonathots Daily Blog

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I Want To Do This Year

 

1. Stop thinking about the year and just consider today.

 

2. Don’t give a spotlight to stupidity.

  

3. Promise less, deliver more.

 

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Cracked 5 … December 29th, 2018

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Jonathots Daily Blog

(3909)

Worst New Year’s Resolutions

 

A. Switch to wearing your sleeves on your feelings

B. Have entire family join a nudist colony

C. Give away charcoal drawings of Mohammed while visiting Mecca

D. Just for comedy, have penis reduction surgery

E. Increase the body count on your killing spree

 

 

art by smarrttie panntts

The producers of jonathots would humbly request a yearly subscription donation for this inspirational opportunity 

 

Cracked 5 … January 2nd, 2018

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Jonathots Daily Blog

(3540)

  Really, Really, Really Insipid New Year’s Resolutions

A. “I resolve with all my heart to breathe more deeply.”

 

B. “I am determined this year to use less toilet tissue.”

 

C. “It is my great conviction to take this year to memorize my pin numbers.”

 

D. “My New Year’s resolution? Stop harassing women unless I’m sure they want to be harassed.”

 

E. “Cut calories by limiting my intake of fried cheese.”

 

Cracked 5… December 30, 2014

  Jonathots Daily Blog

(2459)

 

Rejected New Year’s Resolutions

A. Learning Greek from a Zionist rabbi in Baghdad

B. Eating from only the white and tan family of foods

C. Spending more time listening to my senile grandma share romantic tales of her youth

D. Installing “clappers” for the lights in funeral homes

E. Devouring more pickled calamari

Picture by Smarttie Panntts

 

 

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