Cracked 5 … January 24th, 2017

 Jonathots Daily Blog

(3196)

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First Drafts, Initial Wordings and Test Phrasings for Famous Quotations

 

A. “Ask not what your country can do for you, ask when they will get it done.”

 

B. “Birds of a feather molt together.”

 

C. “For God so loved the world that He gave us chili dogs (and also His son)”

 

D. “Fourscore and seven years ago my Grandma was born. Happy birthday, Grammy!”

 

E. “We hold these truths to be self-evident. S-o-o-o-o…you already know them?”

 

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Cracked 5 … January 17th, 2017

 Jonathots Daily Blog

(3189)

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Names That Joel and Vic Have Considered and Discarded for their New Born Boy

A.  Jic (certainly nickname challenged)

 

B.  Voel

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(Vo-el, Vo-el,

Vo-el, Vo-el

Born is the dude

From Street Stockell)

 

C. Mephistopheles (a hell of a name)

 

D. Jickle (Tickle, Pickle, Much too fickle)

 

E. Vladimir ( A long story)

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Jesonian: Reverend Meningsbee (Part 29) The Crowd of the Press … November 13th, 2016

 Jonathots Daily Blog

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Reverend Meningsbee

On Thursday, shortly before dawn, a crack team of seventeen go-getters–including technicians, make-up artists, investigators, reporters and what they call the “camera darlings” who actually speak on the air–arrived from the USBN, the United States Broadcasting Network.

One of their representatives had come into town two days earlier and spoken to the elders, pastors, school administrators and parents who were chosen to be part of the series proposed about the Garsonville community. Meningsbee was invited, but only stayed long enough at the meeting to lodge his objection, suggesting that a measure of privacy was warranted for the experiences that the town had endured over the past few months.

He was ignored.

The townsfolk could not wait to be inspected by the lenses of the intruding horde from the West Coast. Although Meningsbee refused to be interviewed, Patrick Swanson, who still had his church out at the Holiday Inn Express, was scheduled, as was Sammy Collins, the Bachman family, numerous teenagers from the high school and David’s mother. (She had asked Meningsbee what he thought about the offer to share her story, and even though he discouraged her, she still felt it would be good for some other parent to know the warning signs of a depressed child who was contemplating suicide.)

Patrick Swanson planned on taking full advantage of this publicity, and touted that his congregation was known as Swanson’s Sweethearts.

Sammy Collins got wind of it, and during his interview, shared about their vision of being Collins’ Crusaders.

As the promos began to be aired on the station, the congregation at Meningsbee’s church wondered if it might be a good idea to develop a nickname. Trying to keep from laughing, the Reverend donned a serious expression and replied, “Maybe you folks could be called Mening’s Bee Stingers…”

No one found it humorous. (Often the wit of the pastor escaped the understanding of his faithful.)

Meningsbee stayed out of it, figuring it would only last a few days.  Then a rumor spread through town that the USBN had decided to do a full six weeks worth of broadcasts about burg, based upon the information they had uncovered.

Meningsbee was suspicious.

For you see, there was a time in history when journalism was the reporting of a story, but now, having to fill twenty-four hours of space, journalists were attempting to make things into stories. What were they up to?

A small hint was given when the advertisement for the series was released on air, entitled, “GarSINville … what is happening amidst the corn?”

This obvious slight escaped most of the townspeople.

They were grateful for the attention and hungry to be heard.

They were desperate to feel important.

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