Cracked 5 … November 21st, 2017

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Jonathots Daily Blog

(3498)

Best Reasons Ever to Give as Excuses for Over-Eating

A. “I am secretly feeding an unborn twin.”

 

B. “My dead mother living in the basement insists that I eat 7,000 calories a day or she will start killing young women who stay at the motel we own.”

 

C. “My tape worm just had triplets.”

 

D. “God has warned me in a dream that we are headed for seven years of famine.”

 

E. “An English charity has offered a challenge–for every pound I gain, they will give a pound to operate on puppies who cannot bark.”

 

 

 

 

Cracked 5 … June 28th, 2016

 Jonathots Daily Blog

(2986)

Reasons Norman Bates Loved His Mother

A. She pretty much let him have the run of the Bates Motel

 

B. She was very quiet unless he wanted to hear from her

 

C. She didn’t criticize him for killing girls.

 

D. Having similar coloration, they looked good in the same wigs.

 

E. She encouraged him to be creative with shower time.

 

The producers of jonathots would humbly request a yearly subscription donation of $10 for this wonderful, inspirational opportunity

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