Sit Down Comedy … July 17th, 2020

Jonathots Daily Blog

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July 17^th, 2015

Just five years ago.

I was still traveling on the road with Janet, putting on our programs of music and message. We had situated ourselves in the state of Wisconsin for two months, landing in Madison for two weeks of touring. I was touting the publication of two new books.

We were faring well, the weather was beautiful, and the airwaves were filled with information about upcoming pro football schedules and college gridiron action, with baseball playing in the background.

The politics were snippy but still civil, with an occasional reference to the next year’s Presidential campaign.

People were friendly.

Not as friendly as they had been when Ms. Clazzy and I began our escapades two decades earlier. There was a core of “disgruntled” trying to surface but was quelled by the beauty of the Earth, the simplicity of a good hamburger and being able, in the summertime, to buy a nice watermelon for two bucks.

I woke up this morning in Florida, feeling much the same as I did five years ago in Wisconsin.

But it is not the same.

The Earth has changed—not just our society or our nation. It’s not merely a regional war raging somewhere, threatening global turmoil.

The Earth is vexed, and the vexation is upon us all.

From my position five years ago in the Dairy State, holding my two new books, I could never have imagined our country having tens of thousands of people die within a six month period from a marauding virus, with businesses shut down, schools closed, and the entire community of my brothers and sisters wearing masks.

Just five years earlier, we might have giggled in bewilderment at seeing some prig donning one to go to the grocery store due to pollution.

Where there used to be debate there is now debacle—a breaking down of communication into snips, snipes and snotty retorts.

Cameras have stopped rolling in Hollywood, forcing us all into a claustrophobic world of viewing everything around us through our computer cams.

The wars that were started in the Middle East still rage, with the addition of threatening flare-ups. Who would have guessed that Russia would be back, vying to be a world power, or that North Korea, with its little dictator, would have a seat at the table, complaining about the meal provided?

Would there have been some question in our minds five years ago concerning our European allies?

Would we have been involved in a great debate over climate change instead of attempting, in some small way, to address our portion?

We were not better people in 2015.

We were just blessed with a better world.

Now that the Earth itself has chosen to become incorrigible and is desperately in need of people to parent it into necessary submission, we are at the mercy of governmental brats and political tyrants.

If this were an earthquake, we might want to look for an epicenter.

If this were a hurricane, we’d fly over it to find the eye.

What has transformed our world from a fussy little planet into a dangerous, out-of-control time bomb, seemingly eager to destroy us all?

It’s time for people who value sanity to remember what grants us such peace of mind. We must find the key to the door.

We should welcome a season of returning to the basics.

We must legitimately answer the three questions that can transform us from any fiasco and place us on a path of salvation:

1. What do I need to stop doing to contribute to this chaos?
2. What do I need to start doing to minister to the chaos and make it better?
3. What do we all need to employ, to do a better job of saving our best friend—the Planet Earth?

 

1 Thing You Can Do to Gain the Lasting Respect of Others

Be Straight

Stop trying to make the facts conform to your conviction.

Don’t merely pull out statistics to support your assertion.

Don’t quote the scriptures to confirm your theology.

And stop smirking because you’re convinced that the word “straight” cannot be used for anything other than the opposite of “gay.”

Come with me and we’ll practice:

Abortion kills something.

Religion has very little to do with faith.

Brain injuries are horrible and shouldn’t be marginalized.

The founding fathers warned against religion as much as they praised it.

Guns don’t control themselves.

North Korea is not a Superpower.

Climate change is real enough that we need to get real about it.

Drugs are dangerous—all drugs.

Poverty will not go away. Do what you can.

Wealth is all in who has it.

As far as gender, it does take two to make one.

Concerning race, no one is better than anyone else.

The truth is not here to confirm your theory, politics, theology or prejudice.

The truth is here to free us from stupidity.

Cracked 5 … June 12th, 2018

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Jonathots Daily Blog

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Things You Can Learn About a North Korean Dictator a Mere Minute After Meeting Him

A. He talks funny

 

B. He has funny eyes

 

C. He has funny hair

 

D. His uniform is really funny

 

E. He, on the other hand, is not funny

 

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Salient … April 30th, 2018

 Jonathots Daily Blog

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Kim Jong-un is the dictator from North Korea. He is thirty-three years old–at least, we think so. (Birthdays are not nearly as important in the little country, since there’s a shortage on cakes and balloons.)

I suppose we could spend some time discussing his erratic behavior, threats, totalitarian attitude and despotism. That seems to be the favored profile of most commentators and politicians in the United States.

But while our government was slinging threats at this young man as he feverishly plotted to blow the world up with his missiles, there was another plan in the hatching.

Kim took the Olympics to offer an olive branch to his South Korean brethren. He sent a family member down to represent him, and all sorts of athletes and cheerleaders to add a festive coloration to the proceedings. Most recently, he sat down for talks in China, and also with his nemesis, the President of South Korea.

He has made it clear that he’s willing to consider doing away with nuclear proliferation, and is willing to discuss it in a pow-wow with President Trump.

As we posture on being “the greatest nation on Earth,” this young dictator has outfoxed us. If he hasn’t done it on purpose, he has certainly performed a supreme job of lining up a series of accidental brilliant moves:

He has the United States appearing heavy-handed.

He has the full attention of the whole world, simply by appearing to have changed his mind.

And yes–he’s doing his best impression of sanity.

We can claim it’s not real, but he continues to baffle the critics with his compliance. Those who choose to vilify him are beginning to look ridiculous.

It is all part of a very simple axiom, which needs to be learned by every grade-school student in America, and perhaps throughout the face of the Earth:

The first one to stop acting stupid is proclaimed smart.

It works every time.

Two bullies standing nose-to-nose win no friends. Why? Because they’re both bullies. But if one bully decides to back away and cease the brawl, then the entire playground sides with him or her, leaving the other bully the villain.

Will our country be intelligent enough to take even the higher ground than Kim Jong-un?

I don’t know.

But here’s your salient moment:

Strong only projects strength. Weakness always looks stronger–if it has a smarter plan.

 

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Good News and Better News… October 16th, 2017

 Jonathots Daily Blog

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The world curses

We praise

The world complains

We sing

The world divides

United we stand

The world judges

We forgive

The world’s mean

We are kind

Yet for some reason, because there is a screaming dialogue constantly going on, promoting “might makes right,” we become tempted to curse, complain, divide, judge and be mean.

When we don’t, we feel like limp, leftover losers.

Please observe the picture inserted.

This is a bowl of some leftover something-or-other that we had several days ago, and enjoyed thoroughly–so much so that we thought we might reheat it and have a second go at it. We didn’t. So because it sat around, it got old and eventually became unidentifiable. Once I got the picture, I threw the leftovers away.

The Jesonian–the lifestyle of Jesus–is not a practice of being defensive. We’re not supposed to wait until the world curses to praise, nor should we wait until the whole world is erupting in meanness to express kindness. If we do, we appear to be leftovers.

It may not sound very practical to approach North Korea with diplomacy. It may seem unrealistic. So we are ready to enter a third conflict, already entangled in two unwinnable wars. It’s the thrill of the kill, which is always much more intriguing to those who are not going to be killed or have to do the killing.

The church has lost its heart–and the heart of the church is Jesus. The soul of the church is God, the mind of the church is the Holy Spirit, and the strength of the church is the Body of Christ, working together.

We’ve lost our heart.

No longer do we thoroughly believe in the Golden Rule. We think it might be a great idea, but has no application–just a doctrine for limp leftover losers.

We piously believe we’re better than those who are cloying and clawing their way to the top–but then we buy magazines to read all about who they dissed, who they hurt and who they’re sexually involved with.

Being in love with Jesus is more than dipping your head in reverence to the cross. It’s lifting your head in respect to a message–and it’s holding that head high, knowing that evil cannot win. It’s just too greedy. It eventually chews off its own leg.

There will never be a replacement for praise, singing, standing, forgiving, and kindness. It is what the victors do after the vanquished have failed.

The good news is that we have a message.

The better news is, the message always ultimately wins.

 

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G-Poppers … July 24th, 2015

 Jonathots Daily Blog

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A whole lot of killing going on.

Or maybe it’s the same. But it just seems like the new killings are more evil.

I guess killing won’t stop until we address what causes killing: people aren’t going away.

G-Pop was thinking about this yesterday. He was trying to form an insight just in case his sons or grandkids asked him about the stuff.

He tries to stay away from too many opinions. An opinion is an insight that draws a conclusion. And the trouble with a drawn conclusion is that it never shows the whole picture.

Fortunately, the problem is simple. Since people aren’t going to go away, we should stop doing things to make them think that we want them to.

Here’s a simple rule:

I only matter if you matter. If you don’t, I don’t.

We have this idea that we can seek out evil, stand against it, defeat it and that’s the end. But slavery and segregation didn’t disappear with the passing of laws. Hatred of the Jews didn’t crawl back into the walls with the death of Hitler and the Gestapo.

People are not going to go away. No matter how much we wish it or hope it, they will remain, claiming their right to be.

We need to take a good hard look at our record as a nation over the past seventy years.

• We fought North Korea. We lost (for after all, there is still a North Korea.)
• We fought to preserve Vietnam. And now there is one Vietnam–but not the one we envisioned.
• Do I need to discuss Iraq and Afghanistan?

It is not un-American to ask the question, “Is what we’re doing really effective?”

Somewhere along the line we have to realize that the world is not going to go away and we have to find a procedure by which we can prosper and be successful, and let that be our best revenge.

You can’t kill off all the bad guys without losing too many good guys. And when we lose enough good guys, the country goes through a lull until we can birth more people with dreams.

I only matter if you matter. If you don’t, then I don’t.

It’s a simple principle.

Can we learn it? If we can’t, we’ll be chasing every noise that goes bump in the night.

Jesus told us not to resist evil. We think that’s idealistic.

G-Pop wonders if idealism actually is the notion that we can kill all the cockroaches.

 

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Troublemaker… March 29, 2013

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Love your enemies.

What is he talking about? There are dangerous people in the world who have to be monitored and even confronted in order to maintain a civil society. You cannot initiate a diplomacy of “love” to countries like North Korea and Iran. They will view it as weakness and use it as leverage against you in the next confrontation. You certainly cannot tolerate someone tooling around, asking us to love our enemies. The trouble he will end up making could cost us our freedom and our way of life.

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Impractical. If we actually treated other nations and people with the same integrity we bestow upon our own citizens, we would be affording them undue respect, since they don’t have the same morals and guidelines that we offer to our people. It would lead to a demise in nationalism and a lack of pride. What we need to do is continue our practice of giving “most favored nation” status to the cultures that agree with us and are willing to be like us in most ways.

Don’t judge or you will be judged.

Another portion of idealism. If there is no way for us to feel superior in some aspect of our lives, how are we to gain the confidence to be leaders instead of just an elongated trail of followers? A certain amount of pride is necessary to maintain purpose, right? If people are not better than other people, how can we enforce integrity and morality, granting us a universal sense of well-being? It’s not so much that we’re judging people in order to alienate them, but instead, enlightening them to the error of their ways.

You are the salt of the earth.

Once again, it may be nice to present the concept of an even playing field, and even to insist that “all men are created equal,” but when you give too much power to the weaker members of our population, they will use it for an occasion to welcome anarchy. Encouragement is one thing–but to unleash the idea that everyone can become equally spiritual or equally human is to produce a chaotic environment, where “lessers” mingle with “greaters” and we are never able to determine true excellence. It is possible to understand that people are ignorant–without hating them.

The kingdom of God is within you.

If we’re going to teach people that true spirituality spawns from their own inner faith, inner soul and inner emotions, then we are weakening the foundations of organized religion, granting us the civilization of understanding God. After all, statistics show that people prefer a worship experience that is full of liturgy and pre-fabricated messages, which can be spoken by the entire assembly to instill faith and unity. If we allow people to have their own experience with God within themselves, we are eliminating the demand for religion and replacing it with abstract searching. Where would this leave our churches?

As you can see, the basic teachings of Jesus, which he intoned two thousand years ago, still cause the hierarchy of society to tremble–or laugh–depending on their particular mood. Conventional wisdom trembles at the notion of human beings being blessed with the individuality of discovery, without being constrained by ritual and commandments. And it laughs at the respect given to folks by the Nazarene–to be able to find the face of God and righteousness on their own.

Perhaps the progression of years would keep us from publicly humiliating, mutilating and executing Jesus for such actions taken in our American culture. We are beyond such barbarism.

We would just let the 24-hour-news cycle assassinate his character.

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