Ask Jonathots … October 22nd, 2015

 Jonathots Daily Blog

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I am a senior in high school and they want me to declare my major for planning my college career. I can’t make up my mind because there are too many things I like to do. I play piano and french horn, I’m very good with computers, and I also love to write. How do you decide “what you want to be when you grow up?”

If you don’t mind, I’d like to give you two parts to this answer.

First of all, it’s difficult to know, when you’re a senior in high school, that the reason family and adult counselors are trying to push you to discover your major for college is that they want to brag to other people about it.

It has little to do with you. The relatives want to say, “Well, Brian is going to be an attorney…a doctor…a professor…an engineer.”

It allows for the “oohs” and “aahs” which cause grown people around you to feel they have succeeded in raising you up to be a fine young person.

Yes, I’m asking you to be a little suspicious of people who are in a hurry for anything. You’re on the verge of making two major decisions which will determine your peace of mind and your sense of soul satisfaction:

• How do I make a wage?
• Who am I going to live with for the rest of my life while I make that wage?

Making the wrong decision on either of these proposals is the main ingredient in unhappiness.

So don’t be in a hurry. There are people who do not declare a major until they’re juniors or seniors in college, and as long as they’re willing to buck up to the course requirements, it doesn’t make any difference.

But as to the second part of your question, “What do I want to do when I grow up?”–that is a bit more intricate and a deeper issue.

It’s a good idea to peruse what you enjoy, but I believe there are three things that go into picking an occupation or answering a calling:

1. Can I do what I want to do for long periods of time without complaining, while still finding new ways to enjoy it?

Boredom is your worst enemy in life. It is the source of poorly timed accidents, and bad choices which can lead to all sorts of misfortune and sin. Make sure that what you choose to do evolves enough that it keeps you interested.

2. Is it going to help anyone else?

If you are able to make money and make blessing for other people at the same time, you will never have any trouble sleeping or have any misgivings about your choice of work.

3. Does it offer a branch?

Here’s a fact: if you go into a line of work that allows you to branch out into other aspects of your interests at the same time, it is most excellent.

So of the things you listed–music, computers and writing–use your great intelligence to find a direction for your efforts, where all three of those might come into play.

Just a thought.

But since you’re in the thought process, also remember: thinking, by its very nature, requires that you slow down and not be in any big hurry.

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Ask Jonathots … July 23rd, 2015

 Jonathots Daily Blog

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I’m a 24-year-old girl, engaged to be married this October. My fiancé and I are both ambitious career people–he’s a lawyer and I’m in graphics and advertising. Here’s my question: how do we keep the intimacy in the relationship when we have to spend so much time apart? Does absence really make the heart grow fonder? It makes me feel anxious.

You should feel anxious. You’re sitting on a powder keg.

I know I probably should answer your question a bit more diplomatically, but I think it is probably one of the more serious mistakes people make when assessing how their relationship with another human being is going to pan out.

Let’s put it this way: if sharing expenses, bank accounts, room space, refrigerator, shower and television privileges–if all of these were a turn-on, roommates would be ravaging each other right and left.

Relationship has to be more than finance and having children. What brings two people together is a common passion which is expressed in a common goal.

This is why grown adults who are committed to deep-rooted marriages can go on a movie set together and end up having an affair. The intimacy created by working on the same project is almost overwhelming.

With that in mind, rather than giving up on your relationship or going off and trying to start a rock and roll band together and starve in the street, just develop a side business, a common hobby or some activity which you repeatedly do together and demands the involvement of both of you, and to some degree places you in a bit of jeopardy.

You don’t have to do it more than once a week.

• But you can make every Saturday your day to pursue your garage sale business.
• Sunday afternoon could be the pursuit of arts and crafts, which you both try to market in some capacity.
• Start a blog together.
• Do a podcast about relationships.

Anything you can commit to together which forces you into a mutual sensation of being creative will keep the bark in your spark.

Without that, you can quickly become roomies who discuss bills and occasionally fall into bed with each other if you get horny enough.

When God made man and woman, he placed them in a Garden, and the first thing he gave them was a common occupation.

It makes us hot for each other.

If you have trouble finding something you want to do together, you might consider that to be tell-tale. If your only interest in one another is sex and marriage, it’s a horrible way to begin a life. It has to be sex, marriage plus something else.

And the something else will keep you involved with each other and help you to understand why the sex and marriage are there in the first place.

 

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Three Ways to Improve Your Talent … June 19, 2014

Jonathots Daily Blog

(2268)

America’s got talent.

So what? Talent is merely the capacity for success, rarely arrives with a plan, and is never well-funded.

We have become obsessed with the idea of talent. We are constantly looking for obvious ability. It is really quite meaningless.

There are many people in this country who are more talented actors than those who receive Academy Awards, yet you will never know their names.

There are many politically minded people who are more statesmanlike than those who win seats in Congress, and yet they, too, remain unknown.

The talent which gains notice in our society is the bit of ability that has the agility to wiggle its way to the top, using much promotion.

So what do you do if you have a talent?

1. Use it.

Stop sitting around waiting for an opportunity or a big break to bring attention to your dream occupation, and make sure that at least once a week you are doing something that resembles the better parts of your “craftiness.”

It doesn’t matter what it is, and it certainly doesn’t matter if you get paid for it. There are too many people in America who believe they could be “just as good” as anyone else, if they just had the opportunity.

Truth is, you are just as good as the last time you did it. When was that? If it was more than seven days ago, your talent is a theory, not a fact.

2. Delete ego.

Most people fail to use their talent because they do not realize that no one is given a perfected virtue. If your ego is involved in your talent, you will resist comments and end up maintaining your mediocre. It is much easier to use your talent and expand it if your ego is retreating.

3. Edify others.

Whatever your talent may be, if you can find a creative way to use it to enrich the lives of others, enlighten people around you or even prosper your neighbors, you have a much better chance of gaining attention and having your reputation climb to the surface.

These three things will assist you in transferring a talent that only exists in your mind into one that is acted out in front of an audience of your peers.

Use it, delete ego and edify others.

If that was the talent America had, well … stars and stripes forever.

 

The producers of jonathots would humbly request a yearly subscription donation of $10 for this wonderful, inspirational opportunity

After an appearance earlier this year in Surprise, Arizona, Janet and I were blessed to receive a “surprise” ourselves. Click on the beautiful Arizona picture above to share it with us!

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When I Grow Up … January 25, 2014

Jonathots Daily Blog

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As a teenager, one of the greatest horrors was having relatives visit, and feeling the need to communicate with me, they landed on one of two awkward questions:

1. How’s school?
2. What do you want to do when you grow up?

Concerning the first question, how’s school?–it’s similar to asking an inmate about his progress in the prison.

And the second question is a bear trap lest you answer incorrectly, with an occupation they deem unacceptable … well, you may end up becoming part of a beheading.

I finally got fed up with the inquiry and told my stuffy Presbyterian aunt that I had aspirations of becoming a Buddhist monk. Gasping, barely able to catch her breath, she turned to my parents in alarm and said, “Did you know about this?”

I quickly retracted my statement, explaining that although I had the waistline of the Buddha, I did not share his politics.

Now, I have a granddaughter who will become fifteen years old on Monday. A recent survey of fifteen-year-olds asked the question: what do you want to be when you grow up?  The top five answers: (1) Rich (2) Famous (3) Powerful (4) Beautiful (5) Sexy

So to my fifteen-year-old granddaughter, Isabella, let me say that when I grow up, I do want to be rich–possessing one more dollar than I need.

Certainly famous, in the sense of dazzling the handful sent my way.

Powerful? Yes. I fully intend to bring energy to wherever I am and whatever I’m doing, to make it more productive and joyful.

Now we come to beautiful. I guess  my definition of that would be to bring along a complete package of myself that makes people want to be with me.

And finally, sexy. Yes, it is truly sexy to find one person who continues to yearn for your touch.

I do not know whether it is possible for someone in their teen years to grasp all these concepts. Shoot, I don’t know whether I do.

• But there are riches available–and they are more pleasurable with contentment.
• And fame is not everybody knowing your name, but rather, in having your name bring something of integrity to those who know it.
• Power is something we possess, not somewhere we are.
• Beauty changes with time, but as long as it’s radiating from within, it maintains a certain consistency.
• And I don’t know if there is anything sexier than someone who can carry on a good conversation, while inserting humor.

So there you go. That’s what I want to be when I grow up.

You can see why I decided not to be a Buddhist monk.

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What I Learned on my Summer Vacation … September 2, 2013

Jonathots Daily Blog

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It’s just about time for the bell to ring.

The first day of school is nearly over when the teacher lifts her hand, commanding silence, and informs the classroom that the only homework required for that evening is to write a 250-word essay on, “What I learned over my summer vacation.” She tells the class that the little journals will be read aloud.

So in the spirit of that memory, I will tell YOU what I learned over my summer vacation.

Candidly, I didn’t vacate anything. In other words, I didn’t go on vacation. I continued my occupation, which includes enough travel that one might think I WAS in the midst of some sort of leisurely activity.

Actually, I signed up for the TMMMIII package: Texas-Missouri-Minnesota-Michigan-Iowa–Illinois–Indiana.

It’s what most people would refer to as “The Heartland,” even though I’m sure the Lone Star State would object in being included with such Yankee stock.

What I learned was very simple:

1. People are everywhere. They are not going away. They are not here to aggravate us, nor necessarily bless us. You can call them self-involved, but really, what they possess is the natural need for survival.

2. People are the adventure. I somewhat pity individuals who need to get on a roller-coaster ride to convince themselves they are acquiring excitement. For me, I can perch on a bench in a mall and watch humanity walking by, and within moments find plots and subplots for movies, plays and certainly, jonathots. Yes, people are underrated as a source of entertainment and inspiration. Also:

3. People don’t charge admission. On the other hand, if you take a trip to Disney World, you can spend $200 a day–easily. But besides my grits, gravy and well-positioned pillows, my odyssey doesn’t cost much as long as I’m willing to accept the show provided. The danger in life is becoming so stuck in your ways that you need everybody around you to be a certain style or you can’t find joy in them. I’m only human. There ARE people I prefer over others, but I do find all of them intriguing, and I’m very grateful that they don’t try to tap me for funds to participate in their three-ring circus. Which leads to:

4. Enjoy the show. I am thoroughly convinced that our earth journey is about learning to enjoy what comes our way, who comes our way, how it comes our way and even why it comes our way. Too much philosophy makes you grumpy. Too much religion makes you prejudiced. And too much knowledge puts you on a search to uncover the ignorant. I enjoy easing up a bit and allowing myself the chance to take in the main stage of everybody’s life, and let them make their case.

It’s been a fantastic summer, and as I sit here on this Labor Day, I can barely call what I do hard work. To some it would probably seem arduous, but I guess I’m just having too much fun … taking in the scenery.

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Petering Out … April 26, 2013

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Long before we abandon our faith, we lose our perspective. Our passion “peters out” because we forget how to use what we are.

It reminds me of a story of a guy named Peter. He was a fisherman–at least, that’s how the story goes. But considering he was a fisherman, this dude had more trouble with boats and water than any “landlubber” ever dreamed. Somewhere along the line he had convinced himself that his particular occupation, pursuit of life, and dreamscape was difficult.

Matter of fact, the first time he met Jesus, he was casting his net into the sea from the shore. Now, this is not exactly the most effective way to catch fish. Everyone knows that only the little guppies exist near the shoreline. But apparently, the previous night’s escapades in the boat were not successful, so in desperation, he just started throwing in a net from the sand. Or who knows? Maybe his ship was full of holes.

He was in a boat one night in the middle of a storm and his friend, Jesus, came walking on the water to join him and his buddies. For some unexplained reason, Peter decided he needed to walk on the water, too. It wasn’t necessary. Jesus didn’t come strolling to their aid to get everybody in the pool. But Peter was so insecure that he wanted to be better than everybody else around him in the storm, so he ended up nearly drowning in the process.

And after Jesus was killed and Peter felt great guilt over denying him to the officials, he stomped off in a huff to go back to fishing–even though his life had been permanently altered by the experience of being with his Nazarene friend.

He is an excellent example for us because at one moment, he’s being heralded as “a rock” and in the next moment he goes back to his former behavior and is dubbed “satan.”

What causes all of us to “peter out?” We make one of two mistakes, which actually end up being the same error:

1. “I’m so bad that no one could ever love me, so I will pretend that I am not worthy of being blessed.”

2. “I’m so good that everybody should love me, so what the hell is wrong with the world?”

What’s missing in both cases? An honest assessment of who we are.

Let me be the first: I am a fat, bald, aging man with bad knees who has been blessed with talent, which I have multiplied, and in the process of doing so, I have learned to be more tolerant of others and generous in my spirit with the world around me.

There you go. As long as I keep that in mind, I am balanced, humorous and useful.

Tonight I head to St. Peter Lutheran Church in Elgin, Texas. They named their church after that fisherman, who thought he could get a good catch by standing on the shore instead of getting in the boat.

Are we much different? No. But remember–God doesn’t love us because we’re going to be saved and escape humanity. God loves us because we’re humans and we can escape the fear of being so, and end up saved.

The producers of jonathots would humbly request a yearly subscription donation of $10 for this wonderful, inspirational opportunity