I “Loke” You … November 20, 2013

Jonathots Daily Blog

(2073)

Of course, it will never catch on.

Even though my made-up word, “loke,” is the perfect blending of like and love, and in so being, expresses the balance necessary for human relationships, we will keep the two words, like and love, as distant fourth cousins.

But after many years of travel, sharing, writing and counseling, I will tell you that like and love are the best way to build a life with another human being without feeling compelled or forced.

You may say to yourself, there are people you like and people you love, but if you analyze it, you might discover that the very best interactions you have with others are when these two words merge and become as one.

Let’s look at the word like. What does it mean?

1. I have confidence in your abilities.
2. I enjoy being with you.
3. We have fun.

Now, no one would believe that those three elements are enough for building a marriage or lasting partnership. But they certainly make life more pleasant. After all, lacking confidence in another human being, failing to enjoy their presence and not having mutually satisfying experiences brings “duty” to the forefront and pushes “party” to the rear.

How about love?

1. I have made a decision to commit to being with you.
2. Because of that, I have forgiveness ready and at hand.
3. You make me want to be loyal.

Love is a sealant to commitment. It creates confidence that even when things aren’t likable, they don’t have to end. It is God finding a way to forgive, even when the sin or iniquity may seem to be insurmountable.

So when I hear people say they love me, or that God loves me, I understand they’re saying they have decided to make a commitment, forgive me when necessary and be loyal. But honestly, what I want to hear is the word like included in that proclamation:  I want you to have confidence in my abilities, enjoy being with me and come to have fun.

The marriages that work are those that blend like and love to create my manufactured “loke.” The relationships that merely endure focus on the love and tend to give up on likability.

I would encourage you to learn how to “loke” people.

Because even though I’m glad that God loves me … I really want Him to like me.

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Sixteen Going On Seventeen … August 28, 2013

Jonathots Daily Blog

(1989)

Sixteen–actually, near seventeen years ago, I started working with Janet Clazzy. In kind, she started working with me. We work together.

It is a great source of bafflement to many people–how a man and woman can combine in a partnership of creativity without a marriage certificate or without having Dr. Phil on speed dial.

But life is all about giving respect and never limiting the potential of anyone based on what you see, what you believe or what you were taught as a child. Because of that, we have done some magnificent things and have learned a whole parcel of inspiring lessons. May I share?

1. It’s not so much what you do as who you do it with.

2. Family is where we experiment with kindness and honesty to make ourselves ready for a new world of brothers and sisters.

3. America is not a land of conservatives, liberals, Republicans, Democrats, old, young, gay and straight. America is like a waiting room, anxiously looking for a way to get started.

4. Hospitality isn’t a location–it’s the true evidence of intelligence.

5. Talent increases with integrity.

6. Women are men trying to be women in a world that worships manhood–but needs equality.

7. Success is achieved by avoiding fads which historically have fizzled.

8. Music is emotion; emotion is human.

9. We don’t find faith through God–we uncover God through using our faith.

10. Timing is learning how to avoid wasting the next moment.

11. Don’t get cheap where people can see it.

12. Find good people and let them be good.

13. The more you become offended, the poorer you are.

14. Cheer for humanity to win.

15. No one ever got happy by discovering what is bad.

16. Keep creating–and God will partner with you.

17. And finally, in honor of our upcoming seventeenth year of fellowship, find a way to get closer with more humans.

I enjoy working with another person who is learning the power of vulnerability so as to eliminate the necessity of dong it over again.

It’s been a good ride.

 .

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