Cracked 5 … June 29th, 2019

Jonathots Daily Blog

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Cracked 5

Take-Aways from the First Two Democratic Debates

 A. Two grandpas, a grandma, a few curious uncles, some eccentric aunts and the rest of the little kids

 

B. Yelling isn’t selling

 

C. Not a party—more like an awkward family reunion

 

D. Self-promotion sure sounds like bragging

 

E. TRUMPED!!

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Cracked 5 … September 29th, 2018


Jonathots Daily Blog

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Other Interesting Tidbits About Judge Kavanaugh

A.  He spells his name with a K

 

B.  He likes beer. He always liked beer. He still likes beer.

 

C.  Don’t be offended if he forgets your party.

 

D.  Some people think he’s really cute when he pouts.

 

E.  He is the only white boy in America who never did anything inappropriate with a girl.

 

Brett Kavanaugh

 


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Cracked 5 … June 5th, 2018


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Other Indiscretions That Might Be Considered for Additions to the Seven Deadly Sins

A. Laughing at a network sitcom

 

B. Bringing a Bible to a party

 

C. Referring to your dog or cat as children

 

D. Repetitive farting on a long car trip

 

E. Letting a fly into the house

 

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Cracked 5 … September 12th, 2017


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Things You Do Not Want to Do During a Hurricane Party

A. Use up all the ice and then insist you “did not know.”

 

B. Start a romance. (You’ll be out in a couple of days and in your right mind.)

 

C. Tell hurricane damage stories.

 

D. Win at every board game and make people hate you.

 

E. Actually party.

 

 

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Cracked 5 … July 7th, 2015

 Jonathots Daily Blog

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Items Left Over After the July 4th Celebration

 

A. Two probably perfectly good uncooked T-bone steaks that Picky Pam said “smelled funny.”

 

B. An odd-looking bottle of untouched blue liquor labeled “George Washington Whiskey.”

 

C. A ruined Uncle Sam goatee that came unglued from your face and fell into the guacamole.

 

D. Two boxes of sparklers that failed to ignite because the cat peed on them.

 

E. Two packs of tofu hotdogs that you bought, but your vegetarian buddies from work failed to show up.

 

 

Uncle Sam

 

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Quatrain of Frankenstein … July 22, 2014

 Jonathots Daily Blog

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Frankenstein

A bolt in my neck

A sexy, jagged facial scar

A deep, gutteral German accent

Get ready, fräuleins–let’s party!

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Arizona morning

Click here to get info on the “Gospel According to Common Sense” Tour

Please contact Jonathan’s agent, Jackie Barnett, at (615) 481-1474, for information about scheduling SpiriTed in 2014.

Click here to listen to Spirited music

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Published in: on July 22, 2014 at 12:37 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Populie: Is There a God? … May 7, 2014

Jonathots Daily Blog

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worldIt is very popular to question the existence of God.

It is usually accompanied with the lie that in doing so, we, as humans, become more powerful and intelligent. Thus the POPULIE, delivered with a quizzical, doubtful tone: Is there really a God?

Politics favors this quandary because it promotes the notion of “us against them.” We can talk about culture wars. One party can be on the side of faith and the other on the side of knowledge. We can even present it in a dramatic form as “the saved against the damned.” What a great way to get people to the voting booth.

Entertainment pushes the concept by showing us through movies and television shows, that truly intuitive and mature people are always at least perplexed by the question of the presence of God, and usually in choosing disbelief, are proven to be more intellectual.

Ironically, even religion desires this discussion be thrust to the forefront because it provides the sense of being “persecuted for righteousness sake,” proving our devotion by defending the Almighty against His foes.

Yet the foolishness of the process leaves us stymied as human beings, without the ability to make quality decisions in our lives based on the truth that surrounds us instead of chasing dreams–whether they be in Bible learning or college classrooms.

Let me tell you what I feel. I do not have enough faith to accept the idea of a spontaneously spawned universe. When I watch a show like Cosmos, to follow through on the precepts presented by scientists about how all this began is much more of a fairy tale to me than accepting the potential of a creative force.

Yes, I doubt too much to be ignited by the Big Bang Theory.

There are three factors that scream at me that there is a divine reasoning in the universe:

1. An order in the chaos.

Even though the world is filled with tribulation, upheaval and ongoing evolution, there is always an order, sensibility and common agreement that steps forward to greet the next possibility.

If everything was chaos we would have to believe that luck was in charge, which is no different from believing that God is.

2. A respect for nature.

Since I believe God to be the Creator, He has put a team in charge of the maintenance of His creation. It’s called the natural order. And when you respect the rules of the system which flourishes around you, you set in motion the possibility of prospering. When you deny them, you are at the mercy of an evolutionary chopping block, which is not afraid to bring the hammer down.

3. A faith in progress.

The whole panorama of the law of physics points in the direction and favor of those who step out, try new things and acquire the instinct to go forward.

  • After all, the single cell had faith to become two cells.
  • The first fish emerged from the water to dry land, becoming the grandfather of the amphibians.
  • And dinosaurs, who learned to accept their surroundings, eventually became crocodiles.

There is a faith involved in what we do.

I guess I could be sympathetic to the agnostic or atheist if it weren’t for the fact that there are laws in nature which are immutable. We call it science.

It is just impossible for me to believe that laws can be instituted without a legislator. And to me, that legislator is God.

So even though it may be the populie of our day and age, to try to be cool by questioning the reality of a Creator, I cannot muster enough trust to believe that all of this around me … spontaneously came from the dust of nothing.

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Arizona morning

After an appearance earlier this year in Surprise, Arizona, Janet and I were blessed to receive a “surprise” ourselves. Click on the beautiful Arizona picture above to share it with us!

Click here to get info on the "Gospel According to Common Sense" Tour

Click here to get info on the “Gospel According to Common Sense” Tour

Please contact Jonathan’s agent, Jackie Barnett, at (615) 481-1474, for information about scheduling SpiriTed in 2014.

Click here to listen to Spirited music

Click here to listen to Spirited music

 

 

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