Sit Down Comedy … September 13th, 2019

Jonathots Daily Blog

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Sit Down Comedy

The government the forefathers envisioned–being of the people, for the people and by the people—has devolved into a puzzle of political pandering.

Perhaps the worst part of the scenario is that those people the government was supposed to serve have accepted the bastard that’s been birthed and deemed America.

This has primarily been brought about by the assertion that the more complicated a thing is, the greater the chance that it will succeed.

So imitating the worst parts of former kingdoms which had emperors, senators, dignitaries and conquering, we have accumulated a history of pursuing a dream which has gradually left us sleepless.

America has boiled down to three P’s

  1. Party

The political party you identify with, which means you concede to accept the universal platform

  1. Plans

How can we make it seem that we’re addressing the difficulties in our nation and the world around us, without ever explaining step-by-step, how it will be initiated day by day?

  1. Personality

We are obsessed with rooting for our candidate-tainted-with-scandal while condemning your candidate-tainted-with-scandal.

Our leaders should be selected on the following:

A. Could we work side-by-side with them on a job?

B.  Could we work for them if they were our boss?

C.  When problems arise, what demeanor do they take on?

There’s the word: demeanor

The Presidency, the Senate and the House of Representatives should be voted in based on the demeanor of the candidates who will need to mull great quandaries yet find ways to simplify them for immediate attention.

So what is meant by demeanor? It begins with one simple principle:

Don’t attack

If you feel the need to bring down your adversary in order to make yourself look strong, then you do not possess the demeanor to be part of the leadership of this great country. Therefore, the people with the correct demeanor also:

Refuse to retaliate

For such defensiveness is a sign of avoiding looking foolish instead of persevering with great ideals.

Case in point: Does anyone think we are doing good in the Middle East?

The argument presented is that “bad things will happen if we leave.” We should pose a question: Since we know what we’re doing is foul and we don’t know that leaving will make it worse, why do we continue to stubbornly pursue the inefficient?

We are led by people who first attack and then retaliate.

You should not vote for anyone based on their policies or their political party. Ask yourself if you could work with them, if you could work for them and if he or she carries a pleasant disposition, seeking ways to solve problems instead of losing perspective and exacerbating the situation.

A leader of the United States of America must possess the wisdom and wit to have good cheer.

It was not Thomas Jefferson, John Adams or George Washington that launched our country in the correct direction. What held everything together in the beginning was what we need now:

The congenial cleverness of Benjamin Franklin

Franklin never saw a problem where he didn’t create an invention. He couldn’t even stand to watch lightning without inviting it down to explain itself. This is what we need.

Our candidates are pugnacious.

It is exactly the opposite of what makes good leadership for democracy.

So when I watch the debates or I look at Washington, D. C., I ask myself, could I work side by side with this person? If he or she were promoted, could I enjoy them as my boss? And, are they looking for a simple answer to begin the journey to completion, while maintaining a sense of “all is well” with good cheer?

 

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Cracked 5 … June 29th, 2019

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Cracked 5

Take-Aways from the First Two Democratic Debates

 A. Two grandpas, a grandma, a few curious uncles, some eccentric aunts and the rest of the little kids

 

B. Yelling isn’t selling

 

C. Not a party—more like an awkward family reunion

 

D. Self-promotion sure sounds like bragging

 

E. TRUMPED!!

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Cracked 5 … September 29th, 2018


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Other Interesting Tidbits About Judge Kavanaugh

A.  He spells his name with a K

 

B.  He likes beer. He always liked beer. He still likes beer.

 

C.  Don’t be offended if he forgets your party.

 

D.  Some people think he’s really cute when he pouts.

 

E.  He is the only white boy in America who never did anything inappropriate with a girl.

 

Brett Kavanaugh

 


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Cracked 5 … June 5th, 2018


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Other Indiscretions That Might Be Considered for Additions to the Seven Deadly Sins

A. Laughing at a network sitcom

 

B. Bringing a Bible to a party

 

C. Referring to your dog or cat as children

 

D. Repetitive farting on a long car trip

 

E. Letting a fly into the house

 

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Cracked 5 … September 12th, 2017


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Things You Do Not Want to Do During a Hurricane Party

A. Use up all the ice and then insist you “did not know.”

 

B. Start a romance. (You’ll be out in a couple of days and in your right mind.)

 

C. Tell hurricane damage stories.

 

D. Win at every board game and make people hate you.

 

E. Actually party.

 

 

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Cracked 5 … July 7th, 2015

 Jonathots Daily Blog

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Items Left Over After the July 4th Celebration

 

A. Two probably perfectly good uncooked T-bone steaks that Picky Pam said “smelled funny.”

 

B. An odd-looking bottle of untouched blue liquor labeled “George Washington Whiskey.”

 

C. A ruined Uncle Sam goatee that came unglued from your face and fell into the guacamole.

 

D. Two boxes of sparklers that failed to ignite because the cat peed on them.

 

E. Two packs of tofu hotdogs that you bought, but your vegetarian buddies from work failed to show up.

 

 

Uncle Sam

 

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Quatrain of Frankenstein … July 22, 2014

 Jonathots Daily Blog

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Frankenstein

A bolt in my neck

A sexy, jagged facial scar

A deep, gutteral German accent

Get ready, fräuleins–let’s party!

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Published in: on July 22, 2014 at 12:37 pm  Leave a Comment  
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