Jonathots Daily Blog
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Dear Woman: My girlfriend broke up with me.
Dear Man: Well, don’t look at me. I know you too well to be your girlfriend.
Dear Woman: I wasn’t flirting–just sharing.
Dear Man: And I was just kidding. What happened?
Dear Woman: According to her, nothing. That was the problem. She said I was too predictable.
Dear Man: And predictable is a problem because…?
Dear Woman: Because of the way we began. I think we believed we were overall attracted to one another, but it was just a sexual connection. We thought we could transform that spark into something more lasting.
Dear Man: Isn’t that true of every relationship? You start off with the hots, it chills, and then you try to find something cool.
Dear Woman: I don’t think so. I think there are relationships that are just sexual, but we’re afraid to admit this to ourselves, so we try to force conversation over delivered pizza.
Dear Man: So what is the difference between a sexual relationship and another?
Dear Woman: Well, let’s take an arbitrary number. How about 422? Yes, after the 422nd time you have sex, about everything that can possibly be physically discovered about each other has been completed. So then you either have a personal interest which sustains the coupling, or you start picking at each other, looking for a reason to split.
Dear Man: So do you think it’s about a personal interest?
Dear Woman: No, I don’t think a personal interest sustains two people, either. It must become a mutual interest. There has to be a reason to coagulate.
Dear Man: Coagulate? What an interesting word.
Dear Woman: Yes. It’s like blood clotting, You have so much going on with each other that you turn into a common scab.
Dear Man: Honestly, I think that’s the end of that analogy.
Dear Woman: Yeah, you’re probably right. But if a sexual interest does not have a personal interest which ends up with a mutual interest, you’re going to bounce off to the next piece of heat.
Dear Man: You know where I think the problem is? Women get trapped in the idea of being thrilled to be wanted, and men think it’s enough to want.
Dear Woman: I suppose it keeps procreation going on, but it certainly is not the climate for a good give-and-take between a man and woman.
Dear Man: I’m a woman. It’s not enough to be wanted. That’s what I need to tell my daughters. Many men will want you. You can’t comply simply because it feels good to be told you’re pretty.
Dear Woman: And I’m a man. It’s not enough for me just to want. I want–I have this little trigger in the lower part of my body that confirms the necessity. But it doesn’t mean that I should subjugate a woman or that I should make promises I can’t keep.
Dear Man: Human sexuality is screwed up, and that’s why gender wars are unleashed, and equality seems impossible.
Dear Woman: When I have children, I will teach the girls that it’s not enough to be wanted, and the boys that it’s not enough to want.
Dear Man: And I will teach my children the same, and tell them that the only way to ultimately show respect to another person is to make sure, at all junctures, that they are making their own choices.
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