Cracked 5 … February 16th, 2019


Jonathots Daily Blog


Cracked 5

Valentine’s Day gifts that are leftover because for some reason, they didn’t sell well


A.  A mega-20-pack pregnancy test


B.  A six-month gym membership


C.  Certificate for mole removal (limit 2)


D.  Magical potion to eliminate halitosis


E.  Four weeks of lessons on pole dancing at “The Jumping Pussy Strip Club”

Valentine's Day Naked Man

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G-Poppers… February 6, 2015

 Jonathots Daily Blog



The little granddaughter came into the room to watch television with G-Pop. A talk show was hosting a famous rap artist who had made a video about exotic dancers.

Granddaughter asked, “G-Pop, what does it mean to empower?”

For you see, the young rapper had insisted that his song was pro-female–showing how these girls dancing around poles were gaining personal power and authority.

G-Pop paused, gauging the soul of his hearer. At length he spoke.

“Empower means to give place, position and respect.”

Granddaughter frowned. She inquired, “Do they take off their clothes?”

“Some of them,” said G-Pop.

“Why?” she asked.

The water was getting deeper, but G-Pop decided to wade on in.

“Because,” he replied, “the men like to look at them.”

“So how do the girls have the power if they’re doing what the men want?”

“They don’t,” said G-Pop.

“So is the rapper lying?” Granddaughter was determined to get her answers.

“No, he’s just mistaken,” said G-Pop carefully.

“Why don’t the other women on the show question the rapper?”

G-Pop paused. “He’s young, handsome and popular.”

“Are they scared?”

“Maybe,” replied G-Pop.

“So the girl who dances around the pole does that because she’s afraid that the men won’t like her.”

G-Pop interrupted. “And give her money.”

Granddaughter continued. “And the ladies on the show are quiet because there’s a man who has money sitting in front of them.”

G-Pop considered her conclusion. “Yeah. Kind of.”

“What do you mean, kind of?”

G-Pop smiled. “I mean, my dear, that you are right.”

“So,” surmised Granddaughter, “whoever has the money is in charge.”

“Well,” reasoned G-Pop, “whoever has the money frightens people if they want the money.”

Granddaughter just shook her head. “Weird.”

She got up to leave. “Bye, G-Pop. I love you.”

“I love you, too,” he said, as she made her way out the door.

G-Pop stared at the place where his young granddaughter had been sitting. He prayed that she would always be so brave. He hoped she would control her choices–and money–and not be forced to dance, bow, comply, submit or deny herself to get it.

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Published in: on February 6, 2015 at 1:22 pm  Leave a Comment  
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