Cracked 5… November 10th, 2015

 Jonathots Daily Blog

(2748)

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Nearly Famous People or Events Whose Names Just Happen to Rhyme with Benghazi

 

A. Sven Losney, a young Norwegian skier who failed to make the Olympics because he broke his left fjord.

 

B. Manny Cosfulli, an aspiring pizza maker from suburban Chicago, who wanted to start his own pizzeria, but didn’t have the dough.

 

C. 10 Rospy: The number of Rospys it takes to qualify for the Creole Big Gumbo lottery.

 

D. Ken Nosey, a television producer who was assigned to locate the gentleman to be the next “Bachelor.” (He chose Pope Francis.)

 

E. Clem Bogly, a high school running back who was critically injured flirting with his razorback.

 

Cracked 5 razorback

 

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Cracked 5 … September 22nd, 2015

 Jonathots Daily Blog

(2700)

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Things We Want to Ask the Pope to Do While He’s in America

 

A. Give us permission to sell “Pope is the Dope” t-shirts.

 

B. Offer better refreshments for Holy Communion.

 

C. Request he begin all his speeches with, “Let me be Frank.”

 

D. Update Mother Mary’s Facebook status to “Single and Available.”

 

E. Remove all calories from barbecue ribs and caramel crunch ice cream.

 

Cracked 5 Pope Francis 2

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