Lasting “Fiend”ship… March 11, 2013

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I could be absolutely wrong, but to my recollection I can only conjure the memory of about two dozen people in my life who have become my enemies and I am at odds with–around twenty folks. It’s nothing serious–there is no “shoot on sight” declaration in place–just coming to terms with the fact that our particular chemistry was not favorable for future experiments. So considering the fact that I have met tens of thousands of people, I think that average is not too bad.

Yet, I’m not proud of having ANY maladjustment with my fellow-humans. But every once in a while, you run across a situation where, try as you might, the jagged edges of human character just don’t seem to snap into place.

I thought about this yesterday in Houston. Here was my discovery. Presently in our country, there are two options available for interacting with others. Both require decisions. You can decide to be loving or you can be preoccupied and avoid making a decision. What I’m saying is that people aren’t really hateful–just disconnected. And if you’re trying to relate to them in the midst of their preoccupation, it can certainly feel like rejection.

I think it’s the difference between being a fiend and being a friend.

To become a friend to people, you have to understand a bit about how things work. It’s a four-point process. If you’re going to be a friend:

1. There’s no reason to compete. Not every mortal on the planet is my competition. There are people who are better at things than I am, who deserve my respect. And there are folks that are not quite as adept and they require my mercy. The need to compete is a sign that insecurity is in control of your soul.

2. There’s no need to unseat. Some people are determined to attack power because they think it makes them appear more powerful. Attacking power is simply you admitting that someone IS ruling over you. It’s a waste of time to argue with people who are in the seat of power. If they’re doing a good job, you end up looking like an idiot, and if they aren’t, they soon will be “de-seated.”

3. No desire to deplete. Sometimes when I am in a church service I get aggravated because we somehow believe that showing appreciation for what people do, or applauding effort, diminishes our honoring of God. Didn’t Jesus say that “when you’ve done it to the least of these, my brethren, you’ve done it for me?” I do not need to rob you of your needful praise just to make sure that you stay humble. We deplete each other–making us so defensive about our egos that we are reluctant to interact with one another.

4. And finally, no plan to repeat. Am I the only one who thinks that life is self-explanatory? Case in point: you try something. If it doesn’t work. stop doing it. When I look at the things I was trained to be from my youth, I find some of them to be applicable to my present situation and some of them to be comically broken.  Don’t repeat what’s STUPID. It’s a great lesson for life. You will take away much of your pain if you will just follow that simple principle.

The difference between friendship and “fiend”ship is whether you show up to be loving or you arrive on the scene of fellowship in a state of preoccupation.

• There’s no reason to compete.
• No need to unseat.
• No desire to deplete, and
• No plan to repeat.

When you initiate those four things, you suddenly become of great value to the people around you.

And in the process, rather than coming off as a self-involved fiend, you become a self-aware friend.

The producers of jonathots would humbly request a yearly subscription donation of $10 for this wonderful, inspirational opportunity

Fun Must Be Done… January 7, 2013

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As I emerged from the sanctuary yesterday morning at Hope Lutheran Church in Port St. Lucie, Florida, I noticed a young man sitting behind a table in the lobby, busy working his phone, punching buttons furiously, almost to the point of breaking a sweat.

Now, there was a time in my life that I would have been upset that this eleven-year-old specimen of humanity was perched outside of the hearing of my show, involved in his social media. But yesterday, what crossed my mind was, “How can I come up with an app for his phone using my philosophy that will be interesting enough to this young fellow that he will savor it with the same intensity he is presently using with his preoccupation?”

We spend too much time trying to turn people into grown-ups, hoping they will share our misery and therefore, lighten the human load. I told you–it’s all about becoming like little children, and it is no different when we approach work.

Here are the three things I know about children–and since I’m trying to become one this year, it would be a good idea for me to study these carefully: (1) Children need purpose. (2) Children find purpose in work. (3) Work must be fun.

Here is the interesting fact: we never outgrow those three principles. We just attempt to ignore them by masking them with a frown.

I need purpose. In other words, I need at least two reasons for doing anything. If you give me just one, I will end up grumpy. But if there are two reasons to stop off at the shopping center to get something, then it has the potential to be an adventure instead of an inconvenience. Don’t tell me to love my neighbor as myself–I will act like I’m some sort of noble knight on a quest for the king. Explain to me that humanity is out there, ready to make my life easier. They make my purpose more purposeful. Intelligently teach me that people have the capacity for lightening my load.

We find our purpose in our work. If you are miserable on your job, you are not only losing precious moments of human enjoyment, but more than likely–through stress, apathy and complaining–you are shortening your life. Nothing is worth that.

My job was created by me to answer a calling I felt in my heart, and is constantly being retooled to be simpler and more enjoyable all the time. I will not do any work unless you can show me a way to accomplish it with fun.

Feel free to call that “childish” as you grumble your way through your daily activities. But know this–there is always a more pleasant way to accomplish any task that leaves us feeling satisfied and tired instead of exasperated and exhausted.

Here is my suggestion: link all the aspirations of what you do with your heart’s desire.

For instance, my heart’s desire is to be creative and bless as many people as I can while living comfortably. I have conjured a lifestyle that affords me that privilege. It’s why I am deliriously happy.

Now, instead of saying, “It must be nice…” start duplicating that in your own life. Don’t change your flat tire until you realize that after it’s changed, your vehicle will roll again and you can go out and reward yourself with a lovely treat.

Link your work with your heart’s desire to establish your purpose, and then find a way to make it fun.

It’s what children do. You don’t have to buy them toys–give them four rocks, six sticks a broken cardboard box and five minutes. They will create a fort and begin to launch into a fantasy of frivolity.

I want to be that child. Don’t tell me how difficult it is to be an adult–I will laugh at you. In my heart, I will mock your silliness, hoping that you will outgrow the notion that life is meant to be arduous and difficult.

• We are children.
• Children need purpose.
• Purpose is found in work
• And work must be fun.

Without this, Congress makes passing a bill to bless our country with financial gain and prosperity look as if they’re climbing Mt. Everest with a broken leg.

The producers of jonathots would humbly request a yearly subscription donation of $10 for this wonderful, inspirational opportunity