SENSITIZE 106
We all need Prayerapy.
Cring talks about his emotions and spirit meeting up in a moment of need.
Every morning, Mr. Cring takes a personal moment with his friends
Sit Down Comedy … September 11th, 2020
Jonathots Daily Blog
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I don’t feel good.
But I’m suspicious.
Both about feeling and about good.
Feeling seems to have such great promise until it arrives with its anemic personality and unnatural bend to the dark side.
It can’t be trusted.
First and foremost, it is not satisfied to just have a feeling—but instead, offers a diagnosis.
What I feel may be just a burpless bouncing of discomfort between my shoulder blades but is interpreted in my strain of brain as a pending heart attack.
I may just be a little breathless, but this is translated as respiratory failure.
Maybe lazy has won the day but it’s so much easier to declare it a pending crazy.
But I definitely don’t feel good.
How can I tell?
I’ve altered my schedule—my Holy of Holies.
Normally, after my kitty-kat nap, I go into the bathroom, piss and brush my teeth before heading into the music room to begin my afternoon writing session.
I did not piss, nor did I brush.
I came right to the music room and was no bettered by deleting efforts.
Something’s wrong.
Now, there is a beauty to this—and there is an ugliness.
Let me begin with the ugliness.
The ugliness is that I can accidentally sustain this feeling of uncertainty by fostering self-pity.
I can baby myself right back into the nursery.
I can convince myself of all sorts of pending gloom and doom.
Why? Because I’m fat.
That means every chest discomfort could be a coronary.
Every breathless exhibition is my BMI trying to smother me.
And every single pain that might exist in my legs is my aging, tackling me for the grave.
So you see, if I don’t get out of this mode, it will turn into a bad mood and it can mold my whole evening.
So I come into the music room to talk to you about it today.
I am not anticipating sympathy.
I’m not requiring that you confirm your mercy in my direction.
I’m using you as a sounding board. Maybe abusing you would be more accurate.
Because I don’t feel good.
But I will tell you that even as I talk to you about this, I feel a little bit better.
That little tiny headachy part in the front of my brow is gradually dissipating.
I know it’s nothing serious—I know I’ve underdone something, when overdoing would have been welcome.
Or I’ve overdone a plate of something when a saucer was in order.
But it doesn’t make it any easier.
I am fully aware that I am childish about my concerns and need to at least deduct the “hypo” off of my “chondria.”
Also—I owe myself a piss and a brush.
When will that happen? Is that gone for all time? Have I robbed my self of a urination and a tooth cleansing?
You can see, it can become very complicated.
I don’t feel good.
I don’t think it’s going to end with my demise.
But I have to admit, there are times it does reprise,
And is important for me to know how to surmise.
Sensitize … June 26th, 2020
SENSITIZE 28
Every morning, Mr. Cring takes a personal moment with his audience.
Today: Money is supposed to be mercy. But neither rich people nor poor people can stop worrying about it.
Cring explains the trap.
Click the picture below to see the video
3 Things … April 23rd, 2020
Jonathots Daily Blog
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That Can Be Learned by Reading the Story of Joseph from Genesis, Chapters 37 – 50
1. The ever-present danger of pride impersonating confidence
2. The necessity of perseverance instead of drowning in self-pity
3. The power of forgiveness, which does not apologize for appearing weak
Not Long Tales … August 13th, 2019
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We are overjoyed to announce the initiation of our weekly segment on Jonathots Daily Blog, entitled Not Long Tales. Each and every Tuesday, we’ll be offering you a short story for your enjoyment.
Mrs. Windermoot
Loneliness is a confinement requiring solitude, a commitment without companion.
It had been one year since Mrs. Windermoot had lost her beloved husband of forty-three years, Baris. Even though she had two grown sons who loved her, she found herself very lonely, like a bride left behind on the dock of the honeymoon cruise.
Her sons, Benett and Burgess, were responsive and certainly concerned for her health, but fell short of touching the tender spots of her well-being.
She was alone, which left her lonely. She’d never anticipated being quite so submerged in the sense of absence, but since she had moved into the much smaller two-bedroom townhouse just west of the city, she was constantly battling the pangs of self-pity and the ache of separation.
She did not know any of her neighbors. Several of them had made a visit—but they were all so much younger—and though they promised to return, none did.
Mrs. Windermoot tried to plan activities for herself—making a special dinner, watching a movie. She even scheduled a weekly tea, where she set out all the fixings, including a dozen of her famous chocolate chip cookies. Although it was somewhat entertaining, in no time at all, she was just an old woman sitting in a room nibbling treats.
She never reached the point of desperation—that being sharing her complaint with others. Most of the time she sat very still in her home, wondering whether it was too soon to have another nap.
One day she noticed that a city bus stopped right in front of her house. She had never paid any attention before, but on this particular morning, maybe the sun was shining just right, or she just happened to look out at the correct moment.
But there it was—big as life. 9:31 A. M. It was back again the next day, and faithfully returned the third morning.
So Mrs. Windermoot made a plan. On the fourth morning when the bus appeared, she would get on the bus, and ride as far as it went through the town, and at least have the ability to see other scenery—and maybe even converse with new people.
She dressed for the occasion—one of her best Sunday frocks, and made two dozen chocolate chip cookies, which she tucked away in her purse. She eased her way out the door at 9:15 so as not to miss the arrival and was standing there patiently when the bus pulled up. Not familiar with the route or process, she carefully climbed on as the driver impatiently waited for her to place her money in the slot, allowing her the privilege of being toted about.
She was smart enough to know to bring exact change, but her fingers were not very fast, and finally the bus driver, heaving a huge sigh, took the coins from her hand and completed the job.
Once legally paid for, she inched her way back four rows and sat down. There were only two other people on the bus, and she was nowhere near them, and felt foolish to be on a journey with no apparent purpose.
After a couple of stops, with additional people arriving, she felt better. When someone sat in the seat next to her, she finally worked up the courage to greet the stranger. Her words were met with a bit of kindness, so she offered the young man (obviously on his way to work, because of the uniform he was wearing) … well, she offered him a chocolate chip cookie. He was so grateful, explaining that he hadn’t eaten breakfast, and usually didn’t take the time for it.
At the next stop, while people were getting on, the bus driver walked back to Mrs. Windermoot. He seemed huge. His nametag read, “Mickey.” He leaned down to Mrs. Windermoot and whispered, “Listen, lady. I can’t have you giving out food on the bus. I don’t know where it came from. You may be a nice lady and all—you certainly seem alright—but I could get in a helluva lot of trouble if you were poisoning people.”
When Mrs. Windermoot heard the word “poison,” she flinched—a reflex. The whole idea of her being a sinister murderer seemed absolutely ludicrous, if not offensive. The young man who was still chomping on his cookie interrupted. “Listen, they taste great. You should try one.”
Before Mickey could consider the idea, Mrs. Windermoot was holding one to his nose. Beautiful chocolate chip cookie.
Maybe it was a desire to salve the old girl’s ego, or maybe it was Mickey taking responsibility—taste testing to ensure there was no danger. Or maybe Mickey had missed a breakfast, too. But he grabbed the cookie and chomped away. His expression changed from austere to delight.
Realizing that the bus driver was now eating chocolate chip cookies, which seemed to be coming from the frail lady sitting in the seat, three or four people made their way up the aisle to receive a treat of their own. Everybody was grateful, and the bus driver (still maintaining a bit of his authority) told Mrs. Windermoot that if she brought them again, to “make sure he could check them out before they got passed around.”
Thus began a ritual. Four times a week—Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday—the lonely woman climbed on the bus with her chocolate chip cookies and rode around town, sharing treats and meeting new folks, turning Bus #572 into a friendly wagon of confection.
Once Mrs. Windermoot realized the chocolate chip cookies were a hit, she brought some little finger sandwiches, Rice Krispies treats—well, almost anything that came to her mind that she could make quickly for at least fifty people. Yes—it didn’t take long for the sweet old woman to gain a congregation of fifty admirers for all of her offerings.
A week passed. Two weeks. A month. Two months. Gradually, Mrs. Windermoot learned the story of Mickey, what the young man she originally met was hoping for his future, and the life stories of a dozen or more fellow travelers. It actually seemed that the bus was beginning to grow in attendance, if such a thing were possible. And everyone always seemed to be in a better mood once they boarded Bus #572 and headed off to pursue their responsibilities.
Then one morning, Mickey pulled the bus in front of her house and Mrs. Windermoot was not there. It was Wednesday. Mickey knew it was the right day. He was concerned, as were four or five other people, who stared out their windows, desperate to see the old lady emerge with her kindness and generosity.
But she was nowhere in sight.
Mickey was on a schedule, but his curiosity overwhelmed him. Where was she? Then his imagination went wild. Why wouldn’t she be out there? Was she alright? Did the old lady die?
It was right after this last question crossed his mind that Mickey decided to climb off the bus and go knock on her door. He did not notice that three or four other people joined him, apparently feeling a similar concern. Mickey knocked, and he knocked again. He peered in the window. There was no movement.
He reached over, tried the doorknob, and it opened. How foolish of the old lady not to lock her door, he thought.
But motioning to those who had trailed behind to “stay back!” he stepped into the house to investigate. Human nature being what it is, of course nobody listened to him, and they followed him through the door like a little train of detectives.
Inside there was an eerie silence. No sound.
There was one light on in the house, which appeared to be coming from the kitchen. Mickey inched toward the light, listening carefully for any movement. He was frightened—afraid of what he might find. He turned to those following, holding a finger to his lips, demanding that they remain quiet. He walked slowly to the opening of the kitchen, and as he rounded the corner he looked. There she was. It was Mrs. Windermoot.
She was sitting in a chair, peeling eggs.
She turned around, surprised to see Mickey in her home, and gasped. “What are you doing?” she demanded.
A good question. He didn’t know how to explain that he was expecting to find a body, not an egg peeler. “When you weren’t out there for the bus, I got scared, so I decided to check on you.”
Mrs. Windermoot glanced over at the clock that sat on the stove. “Well, you’re two hours early,” she explained.
Mickey looked at the same clock. It read 7:40. Leaning down and peering at it, he reported, “Ma’am, for some reason, the clock stopped. It’s 9:37,” he said, looking at his watch.
Mrs. Windermoot turned red with embarrassment. She looked behind Mickey and saw that there were six other people in the house, staring at her.
“I’m so sorry,” she said. “I thought I was ahead of my time! You see, I got up this morning deciding to boil eggs to make egg salad for our trip today. I wasn’t sure whether to hard boil them or soft boil them, so I decided to go in-between. But when I got to the in-between time, I thought how terrible it would be if they were runny, so I boiled them again.”
There was a pause, then everyone laughed.
Mrs. Windermoot was not certain why she was so hilarious, but she appreciated the affirmation. Mickey patted her on the shoulder and asked, “How long would it take you to finish your project?”
Mrs. Windermoot crinkled her brow, thinking intensely, as if pondering the national debt. “I should be ready in twenty minutes,” she said.
Mickey looked back at the passengers in the room, cleared his throat and said, “Well, I’ll tell you what. I shouldn’t do this, but there’s no reason why I can’t make four or five more stops, and then come back around on Johnson Street and pick you up—as long as NO ONE TELLS ON ME.” He raised his voice at the end.
Everybody nodded their heads in agreement. Mrs. Windermoot looked up at Mickey and said, “I’m sorry to have been so much trouble.”
Mickey patted her on the shoulder. “You’re no trouble at all. Matter of fact, a lot of trouble has left since you came along.”
Mickey corralled all the souls and they headed out the door. As they streamed back to the bus, Mickey realized he was taking a big chance by changing the schedule. What if someone noticed? What if there was a new customer who complained to the company about the delay? What if this was one of those weeks when there was a spy on the bus, evaluating his ability and performance?
As he reached the steps to climb into the bus, he scratched his head. He glanced back at the house, wondering if he should run and tell the old lady that he had changed his mind. Then…
Mickey shook his head and chuckled. “What the hell,” he said to himself. “No one’s gonna care. And I sure do love a good egg salad sandwich.”
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The W Word … July 9th, 2019
Jonathots Daily Blog
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THE
WORD
The W word that should never be spoken or written again is:
WORRY
It is a self-proclamation of great concern that has been hollowed out by the need to feel important, even when others require the greater attention.
It is often spoken as a prayer, but never contains belief.
It is delivered with tears, but rarely lifts a finger to help.
It insists on something being done while languishing in self-pity.
It is irrelevant—mainly because it fails to acknowledge that to do nothing is to get nothing.
It is ignorant.
It pretends to be involved—but proves “to study nothing is to learn nothing.”
And it is arrogant.
Feel nothing.
Be nothing.
It is nothing surrounded by sentiment.
It is fear in a climate that demands love.
It is a series of carefully worded statements that never form a legitimate thought.
A great man once said that we should never worry. He also went on to say (and I paraphrase):
“Don’t worry about tomorrow. Hell, today will probably kill you.”
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Sit Down Comedy …March 8th, 2019
Jonathots Daily Blog
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I recently moved, abandoning my old fortress of solitude for new digs, which I now comfortably call home.
In my whole life I have done this process twelve times. I was a little surprised to discover that this is statistically average.
Whenever I move, the first thing I do is go out and buy a box of garbage bags. Why? Because I’m going to give away a whole lot of stuff. These are the materials that crept into my life, were used temporarily, and ended up being stored in my closet or corners, where I intentionally forgot them.
It’s a very easy evaluation process. As I begin to pack things, I look at each item and ask myself the following three questions:
- Have I used this in the past three months?
- Will I use it a lot in the next three months?
- Is there someone who would really like to use it right now?
It makes things so easy. I not only end up moving but am able to bless a whole bunch of people who get the rejects I’ve been keeping around out of sentimentality mingled with laziness.
But you see, likewise, every once in a while, when something in my life needs to be moved, shifted or rearranged, I will dare to enter my closet of emotions and see what might be in there that is unnecessary.
There are three main culprits:
A. Worry
It gets shuffled to the rear and pretends it’s not there until you glance at it and then, the apprehension surfaces.
B. Pride
It always likes to be hung up high where it can be seen but does nothing to enhance my being except puff up my ego and is quickly deflated by reality.
C. And finally, self-pity
This one really likes to hide, like a cockroach surprised by turning on the light in the middle of the night. It likes to pretend it doesn’t exist, but self-pity literally “bugs me.”
When I look at these emotions—worry, pride and self-pity—I know deep in my heart that they’re worthless, but I keep them around for those times when others are not concerned, praising me—or they might even be ignoring me.
They suck. Yes, these fretting emotions literally suck the life out of me.
Because when I pose the three questions to them, which need to be asked of any emotion, they always fail. The three questions are:
- Is this emotion making me money?
- Is this emotion making me friends?
- Is this emotion making me smarter?
Honestly, I do not feel old, but I am too ancient to waste time worrying pridefully in a puddle of self-pity. I need things in my life that make me money, friends and turn me into a smarter being.
So will you join me in grabbing a sack, finding your worry, your pride and your self-pity, bagging it up and giving it away for Goodwill?
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