The A Word … February 5th, 2019

THE

WORD


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My assumption is that it began with “the f word.”

Feeling that we were very proper, members of our society began refusing to even say the word f-u-c-k, but instead referred to it as “that f word.” The immediate foolishness of this approach is that every time you say “the f word,” everyone listening sounds out the word “fuck” in their minds.

When we added “the n word” to it, thinking we were sparing an entire race of people anger and humiliation, we just gave bigots a way to promote the word.

Likewise with “the c word.”

So I am doing a series on every letter of the alphabet—how each one has a naughty word that most people think should not be spoken aloud, due to its severity or profanity.

Using my recollection of the alphabet from my kindergarten class, I think that takes us to the letter A.

THE A WORD IS ASSHOLE

The “a word” falling into this category is asshole.

The word is a game changer.

For instance, you can say to someone, “I am disgusted with you.” They may be slightly offended by your observation but not devastated.

You could even say, “I can’t stand your attitude.” It’s stinging, but not a mortal wound.

But when you add onto those thoughts a closing remark of, “you are an asshole,” the whole temperature and intensity of the event changes. The reason for your original objection gets buried under an avalanche of offense. Why?

You will discover over these twenty-six weeks, as we investigate each of these words, that they convey a hidden meaning.

Calling someone an asshole says that you believe their actions, lifestyle and motivations are located at the place in the ass where shit comes out.

Therefore, you’re saying the following three things:

  1. “You are less than me.” (That in itself could be fighting words)
  2. “You don’t have rights.” (Now the person you offended is ready for a fight)
  3. “You are worthless.” (Let the punching begin.)

Words that have proven themselves to be so poisonous that they have to be referred to by a single letter always find their birthing in human bigotry. Over the years, they have been portrayed comically and even presented off-handedly. But at their root is the notion of superiority.

This is how Hitler was able to convince the German people that the Jews were rats. In other words, “they are less than us, they don’t have rights and therefore, they’re worthless.”

So rather than presenting this word as immoral, or a term that “good people just don’t use,” we need to realize that “asshole” is still being used—because bigotry has not been adequately exposed.


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Sit Down Comedy … January 18th, 2019

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Sometime back, but still in my retainable memory, I was invited to speak at a youth convention.

It started out slow, as those kinds of gigs often do until the audience realizes you are acceptable and hearable. It ended beautifully, with enthusiasm, passion and even a few tears. I was feeling so inspired that I turned to the gathered and said, “God, you guys look great.”

Afterward, I was greeted by the sponsor of the event, who seemed to lack my joy. He shared that he was greatly uplifted by the message I imparted to the students, but found the use of the word “God” in my closing to be a classic case of using the Lord’s name in vain.

OMG.

Move ahead a little while and it is such a common phrase that we have an Internet abbreviation for it.

I ran across the same problem over the years when I appeared in front of pristine-thinking audiences, using the word “crap.” Once again, move ahead, and I’ve even heard “crap” used in prayers: “Lord, save us from all this crap.”

We get nowhere with language by thinking that certain words are perverse, others are acceptable and a chosen few are supreme.

Let me give you an example:

I have a bottom. I don’t call it a bottom very often, because the occasion to use that word doesn’t arise, and I don’t feel the need to ever be that formal. So instead, I may say, “I’m going to sit on my backside.”

That’s about as vanilla as I can get. I refuse to use the word “tush.” Sometimes when I’m trying to motivate myself, I will say, “I got off my butt and finished dinner.” (“Butt” in this case is required to express to the hearer that a process was necessary to change my stationary position to an active one.)

I would never say, “I got off my derriere and finished dinner.”

Moving along, if I were referring to a woman’s attractive backside today, I might call it a “booty,” only to be playful. But I don’t think I would get the same reaction from her or anyone else by saying, “She certainly has an attractive gluteus maximus.”

Words justify us—meaning they make us come across clearly—or they condemn us—causing us to sound foul or overly cautious.

I have to be honest with you—if I were discussing the government of the United States in its present stand-off, I would certainly put forth this sentence: “The government should get off its ass and fix some things.”

I wouldn’t use “bottom” and I wouldn’t use “butt.” In this case, the word “ass” has a double meaning. It refers both to their languishing position as well as their attitudes, which prevent them from being proactive.

Do you see what I mean?

We need to stop this foolish, politically correct mindset regarding the American language. If a word communicates, it communicates.

For instance, I never say, “I’m going to have a bowel movement,” but I might say, “The baby did a poop.”

If I run across something that’s plain bull, I will call it crap.

If someone is being mistreated and bigotry is being fostered, I might spout, “What the shit is going on?”

If you feel that I should say, “What the potty is going on?” I think you’re either being insincere or you should find a time machine and join us here in the twenty-first century.

Stop looking for whether words are perverse, righteous, foul or sacred. Start noticing how they fit into sentences or questions that communicate the depth of our passion.


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Jesonian: Lukey 13 … February 17th, 2018

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I gave this essay a title.

I don’t very often–but since I planned to refer to the Good Book in Luke the 13th Chapter, I decided to get cute: “Lukey 13.”

Very simply, this is where Jesus explains how the planet functions, progresses and purifies.

The explanation was required because the folks who surrounded Jesus of Nazareth were caught up in politics and blamed the government for all the ills that came their way. This spilled over into their conversation with the “carpenter-turned-preacher.”

They wanted to get his opinion on an event. Pontius Pilate, the governor, had killed a group of people who came to a religious service to offer sacrifice, and were brutally attacked by the Roman Legions–murdered during their ceremony.

The people dramatically cited to Jesus that “the blood of the victims was mingled with the sacrifices.”

They failed to say that the Romans knew these folks to be Zealots, viewing them as terrorists who raided the army and killed infantrymen.

(There are always two sides to a story, usually with neither one being the truth.)

The people wanted Jesus to be enraged. They wanted Jesus to be a nationalist. They wanted Jesus to be a Zionist. He astounds them.

He replies, If you won’t change, you’re next. (The actual wording was, “Except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish.”)

He asked them if they thought the Galileans who were killed were bad people because it happened to them. He asked if a tower which had recently fallen on innocent folks was punishment for their sins, once again closing with, if you don’t change, you’re next.

What is his message? First, it is impossible to comprehend the ministry of Jesus without realizing that he came to bring understanding to the Natural Order instead of having people believe in mysterious protections from a Supernatural Border.

The Jews thought as long as they were Jews, God should take care of them. They felt no responsibility to the world around them, referring to people who were not Sons of Abraham as “heathens.” They became targets for cultures which were stronger in military might, and in no mood to be called “dogs.”

In a parable, Jesus explains the nature of Nature. He also outlines the nurture of the Father:

You cannot get God’s grace if you do not honor Nature’s place.

Jesus tells a story about a tree. It had leaves, bark and roots. No fruit. This tree was deemed by those in charge to be worthless, and was marked to be cut down.

Consider: although God loves me, He wants me to understand that since I live on Planet Earth, I have to follow the rules of the trees. I am not allowed to take up space, suck out nutrients and just sprout leaves. I am expected to bear fruit.

What is fruit? What defines fruit? “I am trying to improve my life, therefore understand why you are attempting to do the same.”

That’s fruit.

Nature wants to get rid of anything that is not fruitful. Some people might even say that Nature is prepared to get rid of Earth, because its inhabitants are no longer respectful of the system.

Yet let’s talk about you and me. There is a Natural Order and a Supernatural Border. It is impossible to come under the grace of God if you’re not submissive to Earth. And on those occasions when you find yourself erring, and in danger of being eliminated because of your mistake, you will need the Supernatural Border.

There is only one way to get under the protection of God’s mercy: humility.

Yes. Be the first one on your block to know you’ve done something stupid. Repent of it before anyone else even knows you did it, and dip your head in respect to Mother Nature as a way of honoring Father God. When God sees this, He comes to Mother Nature and He says, “Dig and dung.” In other words, let’s not eliminate this person yet. Let’s give him or her a chance. Fertilize with dung.

To put this process in a lexicon we better understand: to gain God’s help, you must humbly admit your weakness and allow Him to send some shit your way so you can grow.

If you’re convinced it’s not your fault, and you reject the shit, get ready for the buzzsaw.

If you’re going to be oblivious, be prepared to be the next one eliminated. But if you honor Nature and the order of things and realize that it’s not the government’s fault–there is no massive plan against spirituality, but rather, misdirection on your own part, which needs to be humbly corrected–then God has the ability to extend His grace, to help you establish your change.

It is a powerful passage. It is our “Lukey 13.”

And if we comprehend its meaning, we have an earthly advantage over the religious fanatics who believe God owes them something, and also the secular world, which contends it can out-muscle the competition.

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G-Poppers … March 10th, 2017

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Jon close up

“An ear ain’t an eye.”

That’s what G-Pop told his grandson.

A thousand warnings, lectures or sermons are no match for one vision. The eye projects a cinematic view across the entire brain. It is deeply implanted and can last a lifetime.

I’ve heard hundreds and hundreds of speakers over the years and could not recite one thing they said, but honestly, I still have the experience in my mind of the first naked woman I ever saw.

So the eye can be used for good and it can be used for, let’s say, less good. Even evil.

But we spend all of our time thinking that we can instruct our children, when the only things being infused in their brains is what they see us doing–the craziness of the adult world around them.

We listen to what is said but we mimic what we see. After all, the saying is, “Monkey see, monkey do.”

Monkey hear? Well, monkey ignore.

Yes, hearing is probably our weakest sense. After all, we smell shit and call it what it is, but we don’t always hear bullcrap and identify it.

We taste sour and we pull away. But when we’re confronted with bitter words, we sometimes allow them in.

Especially if the words offered us are too challenging, too condemning or too overwhelming, we will always prefer what pops in front of our eyeballs.

So what are we seeing? Because we may be hearing hopeful phrases and promises, but we’re seeing a twisted manipulation of circumstances, supposedly in the name of righteousness or nationalism.

These snapshots make us jaded.

G-Pop wants his children to know that they need to be careful about what they see. If it’s an unpleasant sight, talk about it, object to it, and stand against the portrayals that don’t represent the values we preach and the virtues we have heard.

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