Cracked 5 … June 7th, 2016

 Jonathots Daily Blog

(2958)

Various Ways to Insult the Judge Who Has Been Assigned to Rule on Your Case

A. “Black is usually slimming, but ‘dem robes do you no favors.”

 

B. “Listen, don’t consider it a bribe. It’s just my investment in your new condo in Boca Raton.”

 

C. “Your gavel is so small–I thought it would be bigger.”

 

D. “If I ever become President, I could make you one of them Big Judges.”

 

E. “Even though you were born in Indiana, word has it that you be Mexican.”

 

 

The producers of Jonathots would humbly request a yearly subscription donation of $10 for this wonderful, inspirational opportunity

 

Cracked 5 … December 8th, 2015

 Jonathots Daily Blog

(2776)

Ideas A New Talent Agent Wants to Institute to Promote Santa Claus

A. An all-black suit:  Bleak, but slimming.

B. Santana Claus: Carols, slick with guitar licks.

C. New reality show from the North Pole: Toying Around. (Spoiler alert–many elves are bi-polar.)

D. Slightly soften “You better watch out” slogan to “Be cool, fool.” (Complete with Christmas rapping…)

E. Getting in front of the rumor that Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer is transgender. The new name is “Rulinda.” 

 

The producers of jonathots would humbly request a yearly subscription donation of $10 for this wonderful, inspirational opportunity

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