3 Things … April 25th, 2019

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That Are Never Illegal

1.  Smiling in a grumpy world

 

2.  Telling the truth

 

3.  Giving without strings attached


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Sit Down Comedy … November 9th, 2018

Jonathots Daily Blog

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Instagrammar for Instagram

It seems appropriate to catch up the American lingo with the times instead of having it linger in the past with moldy ideas. So instead of referring to things like “Self Worth” may I give you the new Instagrammar:

1. Selfie Worth:  Taking a picture while traveling through Fort Worth

2. Selfie Motivation:  Developing a plot line to energize the shot

3. Selfie Awareness: Picking an angle where your nose doesn’t look so big

4. Selfie Destruction:  Delete, delete and again I say, DELETE

5. Selfie Less:  Not so much smiling

6. Selfie Fish:  Shooting the perfect pic near the beach

7. Selfie Deception:  Convinced you have lost weight because the snapshot only has half of your face

8. Selfie Denial:  Patiently waiting until after your grandma’s funeral before posing again

9. Selfie Realization:  Fewer pics in congested traffic around grouchy cops

10. Selfie Centered:  Finding the perfect headroom

 

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Cracked 5 … September 27th, 2016

 Jonathots Daily Blog

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Reasons That The Mona Lisa is Smiling

A. Da Vinci is painting without pants.

 

B. Smallpox scales fell off just in time for modeling

 

C. Found a big chunk of pork roast in her front teeth before beginning

 

D. Only three of her seven cousins died from bubonic plague

 

E. She just farted 

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Cracked 5 … December 1st, 2015

 Jonathots Daily Blog

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Things I Don’t Want For Christmas

A. A cow donated in my name to a tribe in Africa.

 

B. Anything you made by hand with paint, glue, macaroni or “love.”

 

C. A picture of you and me together, smiling for some reason which we no longer remember.

 

D. A certificate to get anything that I don’t usually get, or will have to wait to get.

 

E. Anything I personally have to assemble.

 

Cracked 5 Best of Best

 

 

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Three Ways To Change Your Image… April 16, 2015

 

 Jonathots Daily Blog

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cheshire cat smile big

30% of your image is based upon people’s prejudices and 70% of it consists of how you project yoursef. (Honestly, I just made up the percentages, but the balance seems pretty accurate.)

There is nothing you can do about the 30%. You can’t help it if you look like somebody they don’t like, or if you’ve voiced an opinion which found their disfavor.

But you can work on the 70%. You can improve your own image to the public at large.

I would suggest three different techniques, which are fairly easy to enact and don’t demand that you spend forty days in the wilderness, fasting and praying.

1. Smile.

You probably do smile sometimes. Just do it a little more.

The reason for smiling is not to come across as jovial or a sap, but instead, to affect your default face.

We have a countenance we settle into when people aren’t looking or we’re just sitting around. If you’re not accustomed to smiling, that appearance will end up being grim or despaired. The corners of your mouth will turn down instead of slightly turning up.

Keep this in mind–every time you smile, your eyes also rise and light up. Every time you frown, your eyes are cast down.

Smiling lets people know that you’re ready for the challenge because deep in your heart you believe that all things will work together for the good.

2. Courtesy.

Just say “thank you.”

It won’t kill you. It will feel unnatural at first–matter of fact, some folks will say you don’t need to say it. That’s true. And that’s also what makes it powerful.

You will be surprised at how much courtesy has slipped from your mannerisms.

When somebody hands you something, say thank you.

Open a door every once in a while, whether it’s a man or a woman.

And let somebody go in front of you in the grocery line if they only have one item.

It’s a simple act that makes you look like a saint of God.

3. Patience.

Patience is not allowing yourself to be walked on, but instead, making a decision on how you walk and the joy you keep in your life while doing it.

Never sit and wait.

If you discover there’s going to be a wait, do something else.

If you’re stuck in traffic, turn on the radio and start singing at the top of your lungs.

If you’re in a line, pull out your phone and read your emails or strike up a conversation with someone nearby.

Patience is not achieved by learning how to wait. Patience is acquired by distracting yourself from the wait.

Honestly, if you change these three things, you can immediately create a new image.

And in doing so, the landing strip that people allow in their hearts for your ideas will be much wider, longer and more open.

 

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Recess… November 8, 2013

Jonathots Daily Blog

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children playgroundThe bell rang. Time for recess.

I looked around the room into the faces of twenty-nine other young souls like myself, in Mrs. Arnold’s third grade class and realized that the ringing meant different things to each and every one.

Some were smiling, wiggling in anticipation. Others seemed resigned, as if bored with the prospect. And there were those who were terrified–fully aware that in a few short minutes they would be out on the playground with their peers, trying to compete and falling short of the glory of childhood acceptance.

  • There would be interaction.
  • There would be competition.
  • There would be challenges.
  • There would be ridicule.

It is part of the process. And as we pursue a much-needed campaign against the brutality of bullying, we must be careful not to hamper the interaction among younger folks when they are separated from grown-ups–an exposure that brings about the necessary evolution toward character, confidence and realization.

For when you discuss “peer,” there are three different categories. If you think that each and every time children fuss, argue and fight, it is wrong–bullying–you are disrupting the human jungle that DOES provide a great barometer for cleaning out abnormalities and setting apart better paths.

For instance, I failed to be called a “fat boy” enough in school to rid myself of obesity. I was TOO well-liked, too personable and in some ways, too talented to be challenged over a weakness that has now plagued me my whole life. It should have been taken care of by:

1. Peer presence.

This is just the blending of kids getting together to discover solutions on the best way to get along. It is characterized by talking. This is why sometimes it’s stupid in school, to tell kids to be quiet. They are trying to find a way to blend with each other. Not everything can be solved by an adult guidance counselor. We need our friends to talk with, to blend with and to discover solutions. And sometimes this leads to:

2. Peer pressure.

It is essential in the human race that we learn how to bend. We must discover our differences and even be willing to argue about them in order to produce adequate compromises. Too many teachers think that because kids are arguing, it’s a sign of severe difficulty. The truth is, peer pressure teaches us to bend, acknowledge our differences, and if necessary, fuss our way through them.

I certainly agree that peer pressure can go too far and can lead to the promotion of violent behavior. But I will also tell you there is no person who appears to the youngster to be old, who can intervene and produce the results that they can hammer out, on their own, together.

When you live in the adult world, the only power you have over the young is to teach them right, wrong, manners and gentleness. Then they must go out in the midst of peer pressure and work out the specifics. Occasionally this can get carried away and lead to:

3. Peer persecution.

Some kids feel compelled to bind other children by bullying them.  How can you identify what’s bullying and what is viable peer pressure?

Bullying is when the arguing stops, one person ceases to speak and becomes the target of the other one, who dominates.

That’s right. If two kids are arguing, give them a chance to work it out. But if you come across two kids and only one of them is yelling, ridiculing the other child, who is standing there, without speech, just taking it–you have just come across bullying.

It is a mistake for people who are no longer in school, no longer youthful and no longer understand the playground, to try to come in and make things right for everybody by keeping things calm and on an even keel. You are just making matters worse. Learn the difference.

  • The young students in our country need peer presence. They must be given a human mixer to blend, discovering solutions.
  • Sometimes this leads to peer pressure, where kids will argue, trying to bend to one another’s inclinations, and in the process, uncover differences which eventually are included in the flow.
  • But we should never let it go into peer persecution, where one kid binds another one up with bullying. This is easily identified by the absence of the persecuted child offering any verbal defense.

I recently heard about a young man who felt he was being bullied, so he committed suicide. Here’s my problem with that: why wasn’t there a climate where this young man could express to his parents, family or teachers his need for assistance?

And why are we attacking the very delicate procedure of peer interaction, trying to eliminate anything WE would consider negative, just because in this case, the system failed one young man?

I am saddened by his death, but alerted to the fact that the problem here was not just bullying. It was a fellow who didn’t think he could argue back to the peer pressure, and also did not feel that anybody outside the playground would either hear or have the power to change his circumstances.

We need peer presence. Students must learn to blend.

I think we need some peer pressure, to bend, where kids have the chance to produce some of their own solutions through argument.

What we do need to stop is peer persecution, binding, where one person is silenced as the others continue to rail against him or her.

Can we make these distinctions? If we can’t, we need to stop calling ourselves parents, teachers and leaders.

Our society is overwrought. Some things are necessary to create the cultural revolution in each generation that progresses the idea of humanity instead of trying to keep everything calm, but stalled.

I know it is possible. I did it with all six of the sons I raised. I let them blend and I let them bend. Only when they began to bind each other with persecution did I step in. Because of that, I think each one of them has grown up with a better understanding of who he is and how he fits in.

Bullying–it’s when one person stops talking and runs for cover, only to be chased by an assailant.

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