Sit Down Comedy … June 12th, 2020

Jonathots Daily Blog

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If the world were a rainbow, I would swim in its swirling colors.

If the world were a promise, I would keep it.

If a song, I would write my own chorus.

A hope—I would find a way to start.

If the world were a pizza topping, I would pick something double-cheesy.

If the world were a thought, I would think it out to joy.

If a dream, I would live the parts I can do.

A sport, I would toss the ball at the goal until I made my points.

If the world were a political party, it would have no name, no agenda—just a heart.

The world, as a hat, would be a cowboy.

If the world were a wish, I would find my part and tenaciously pursue.

If the world were a piece of advice, it would be, “What’s the worst thing that can happen?”

As a kiss: soft, lingering, with heads turning halfway through the caress.

If the world were a question—”why not?”

An ice cream? Rocky Road one day, Cookies ’n Cream the next.

If the world were a fruit, it would be cherries—so bring your bowl.

A vegetable? It would “cauliflower” and present a blossom.

And if this old world of ours were a statement, it would say:

“To finish requires you begin.”

1 Thing You Can Do This Week (to be of greater value to the people around you)

 

STAY OUT OF POLITICS

Totally and completely.

Politics is not patriotism.

Politics is not a willingness to be civic-minded.

Politics is not an awareness of the issues.

POLITICS IS A PARTY

Yes, politics is a party with a limited guest list. The only way to get on that list is to agree with the terms of the party and to drink up the punch and suck down the appetizers.

Politics has become a sport.

Politics has led us to believe that lying is natural and often needful in certain situations.

Politics creates clumps of people who feel they’re superior by either a name or a color, and eventually use that arrogance to shut out the other half of the country.

Politics allows you to believe that you can be against abortion but for free expression of gun privileges, despite the carnage.

Politics leads you to believe that you should be ferociously involved in the environment and taking care of every wooly bear that is nearly extinct while simultaneously contending that abortion is not killing.

Politics makes you contradict your own heart.

Politics makes you support people simply because they are not as crazy as the alternative.

Politics is being willing to compromise faith, do away with truthfulness and ignore the needs of some portions of society simply because they favor the other camp.

THE DEVIL’S RELIGION

Politics is what the devil would suggest if he were starting a religion.

The minute you stay out of politics and make it clear that you have no intention of indulging in the verbal nastiness that accompanies it, you will suddenly become a trustworthy human, thinking for yourself and knowing there are things more important than who the next Supreme Court Justice might be.

The producers of jonathots would humbly request a yearly donation for this inspirational opportunity

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Click the elephant to see what he’s reading!

 

Cracked 5 … August 23rd, 2016

 Jonathots Daily Blog

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Signs That Summer Is Coming To An End

A. Deflated pool toys floating down the stream to the river below

 

B. Mis-matched shorts and bikini tops marked down at Wal-Mart

 

C. Chocolate marshmallow angels and snowmen stocked on the shelf at the Dollar General checkout line

 

D. Footballs flying, ceasing the masses pretending that baseball is a sport

 

E. Check a calendar, dork.

 

 

Jonathan’s Latest Book Release!

PoHymn: A Rustling in the Stagnant

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