PoHymn: A Rustling in the Stagnant … June 21st, 2017

 Jonathots Daily Blog

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Standing There

I was just seventeen

Trying not to be mean

When I saw her standing there

Is she terrified?

I am

I brushed my teeth four times

Back and forth, side to side

Even upside down

Yet the foul is returning

My deodorant is so damn unpredictable

Was that a whiff of skunk?

I’m sweating

It’s not hot

She is

I’m not

Does she know that I’m plain?

Yes, plain

Dry toast without butter

Marshmallow minus cream

They say women are from Venus

I, supposedly, am from Mars

Could someone build a spaceship?

Maybe we could date on the moon

And gradually come down to Earth

That sounds romantic

No, wait. Corny

Corny is bad

Like my deteriorating breath

She is fidgeting

Or maybe just exercising

I am not athletic

I bounce the ball

And then watch it roll away from me in disgust

Yes, the ball had an opinion

It mocked my efforts to participate

Doesn’t she do most of the stuff I do?

Just not as noisy or smelly

Is there common ground?

Why are we on the ground?

Many magnificent wonders

I want to talk to her

No, I don’t

Talking is dangerous

It demands sentences

Verbs connecting nouns

Yet I need to communicate with her

Hand signals are out of the question.

And unfortunately, spontaneous making out is rare

Some sort of interaction is required

I wish my dog was prettier

Forget I said that

No, promise you forgot

I like girls

Even when they’re women

I just don’t want a mother

I have one

I will savor the unique experience

Why doesn’t she talk to me?

Maybe she can’t talk

A deaf mute

Why does that interest me?

Did she just check her breath?

My God, we do have things in common.Donate ButtonThe producers of jonathots would humbly request a yearly subscription donation of $10 for this inspirational opportunity

 

 

 

 


 

 

 

 

 

Cracked 5 … September 27th, 2016

 Jonathots Daily Blog

(3071)

cracked 5 logo keeper with border

Reasons That The Mona Lisa is Smiling

A. Da Vinci is painting without pants.

 

B. Smallpox scales fell off just in time for modeling

 

C. Found a big chunk of pork roast in her front teeth before beginning

 

D. Only three of her seven cousins died from bubonic plague

 

E. She just farted 

cracked-5-mona-lisa

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PoHymn: A Rustling in the Stagnant … June 15th, 2016

 Jonathots Daily Blog

(2973)

PoHymn June 15

Unclean

He said it would be easy

Not difficult at all

Just to do a somersault

Pretend you took a fall

But I found it hard

Failed to make the team

And heard a snicker or two

I was odd, it would seem

 

She wanted a kiss

Her friends pressed her to try

Yet I was terrified

Not really knowing why

But I agreed to lock my lips

With this fine, willing lass

We bumped our teeth together

I felt like such an ass

 

My first day on the job

My boss explained the routine

He seemed such a gentle soul

No signs of being mean

But when I blew the deal

And ruined the daily plan

He yelled at me with vigor

And called me a clumsy man

 

Odd, ass and clumsy

Seemed to be my lot

So the preacher patted my shoulder

Said, “Be thankful for what you got.”

Finding his advice not so nice

I asked for God’s dominion

A brief delay, then a response

He gave me His opinion.

 

“Don’t worry so much and be uptight

In the quest for what is right

For there is nothing you have seen

Which I have made that is unclean.”

 

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Jesonian: Reasonable (Part 20) Silence … April 17th, 2016

 Jonathots Daily Blog

(2907)

Jesonian hands

Silence is when I select to shut up before someone says to me, “Shut up.”

It is the definition of wisdom.

It is the personification of understanding.

It is the reasonable approach that an intelligent soul makes when further speaking will only produce more dissension.

Jesus often chose to be silent.

Matter of fact, history tells us there were many cults, religious groups, violent terrorists and wicked organizations around him–and he never says a word about any of them.

Why? Because they were irrelevant.

A rabid dog will eventually die. Your job is to avoid its teeth.

Therefore, it’s reasonable to be silent.

It is brilliant to choose silence at the right moment.

I choose silence when:

  1. Argumentative people are on the warpath.
  2. I am surrounded by those determined to prove they are knowledgeable on a particular subject
  3. Ignorant people are proud of their ignorance and would have no personality without it.
  4. It is obvious that I am not as up-to-date as others on what is being discussed.
  5. And I merely have an opinion instead of an idea.

We must understand that the passing of years, the passing of the torch, the passing of scriptural verses, the passing of a test or the passing along of tradition is not grounds to be heard.

But to those who believe it is, no amount of reasoning or cajoling will convince them otherwise.

Silence is the protection we place around beauty … until it can reach the eyes of the right beholder.

 

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Quatrain of Hygiene… July 9, 2013

Jonathots Daily Blog

(1938)

clean stuff

Wash my face

Brush my teeth

Scrub my bum

Soak my feet

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The Dental of Mental … May 4, 2012

(1,504) 

“Let me sink my teeth into it.”

It was a popular phrase long before the current craze of vampire movies. Deciding what to “bite off” and putting some energy into it is a valuable process in our lives. How should we determine it? What should we bite into?

There are three basic reasons that people bite things off, making the new taste their project. Sometimes they bite things off because everyone around them, including their families, tells us that it’s perfect, encouraging them to “take it on,” even making it clear that if they don’t, they have passed on a golden opportunity. Can I tell you that guilt is one of the worst motivators for human beings? And it is usually followed by a sense of dread, interpreted as “being responsible.” Biting off something because someone else wants you to do it will always leave a bad taste in your mouth.

The second motivation that often taunts us is that we “need” to do something.Whenever it appears that I need to do something, I purposefully delay, to make sure that my choice is not generated in frustration or futility, but rather, by my own inclination. Because the only reason to bite anything off is because I WANT it.Yes, the only question that needs to be asked by anyone at any time before biting into a new piece of life is,Do I want it?”

It doesn’t mean that everything we bite off is good for us, or even necessary–because there are only two things that human beings require to maintain their sanity: (1) The choice was my own; and (2) if I find out it was a stupid one, please permit me a road to retreat and repent

The “dental of mental health” is to choose to bite off only what you want, not what others tell you is required or what you believe you need. Everyone knows–once you bite something off, you’ll have to chew it, and chewing is the process by which we prepare food to leave the delicious world of our taste buds and enter the unknown of digestion.  So as we consider what we want, the only question we really need to pose to ourselves is, “Can I chew it?” In other words, “Can I be patient?”

Chewing is being patient. It is also making sure that we drain the last bits of flavor out of what we’ve bitten before discarding it for more practical use.If we can’t enjoy the process of chewing, then we’ll probably end up trying to swallow everything whole, which will certainly cause us to choke in our hour of need. Can I be patient? Patience is one of those words that’s thrown around without definition, so let me give you two applications:

  1. It tastes good enough that I don’t mind keeping it in my mouth for a while. Don’t think you’ll chew very long on something bitter.
  2. I don’t mind being patient and chewing on it, because I know when it finally reaches my body, it’ll be good for me.

The main piece of success in my life is that I have learned to enjoy the chewing process. If you need instant gratification or immediate appreciation, you will never draw all the taste out of every experience, but will either become reluctant to bite anything off in the first place, or end up gulping, swallowing life whole, without tasting.

Can I be patient? Because after all, when the chewing’s done in the “dental of mental,” it comes time to swallow. What I have bitten off has now been chewed and no longer resembles anything of what I once took on. Swallowing is asking yourself the question, “Am I ready to evolve?”

Some folks believe that if their plans change, they have lost the integrity of the experience. Yet, plans changing IS the experience. Swallowing is what transfers food into energy.Change is what transforms “choice” into fruitfulness.Without change, we arrogantly begin to believe that everything we put into our mouths should remain there instead of being absorbed. How many evolutions will I have to absorb to get the full benefit of what I’ve bitten off and chewed? Well, let me swallow the next one and we’ll see how it goes. Am I ready to evolve?

Which leads to the final step in the dental of mental–digestion. Will what I have bitten off, chewed and swallowed produce the nutrient of even greater desire? There is nothing more discouraging than beginning a project and finishing it by saying, “I will never do that again.” Most people are not lazy–or vacant of purpose. They are afraid to bite things off because the last time the chewing and swallowing produced indigestion. It was dissatisfying and left them with a severe case of heartburn.

Yes. The heart, rather than being rejuvenated through the experience, is aggravated and disappointed.

So–will what I want be patiently evolved in me to end up producing even greater desire to do more? Because that is the essence of mental health. At the end of our experience, we should be fatigued, not exhausted. We should feel exhilaration, not exasperation. And we should want rest–in order to pursue again–instead of escape, to avoid contact.

If you don’t do what you want, you end up being on somebody else’s mission, which means that even if it’s successful, you lose the credit.

The dental of mental health: biting, chewing, swallowing, digesting.

  • Do I want it?
  • Can I be patient?
  • Am I willing to evolve?
  • Does it appear that it will produce even greater desire?

Don’t cheat yourself out of great mental health. Even though the world around you insists that you need to accomplish their desires, never sink your teeth into anything that you don’t really want.

  

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