Jonathots Daily Blog
(3667)
A. Avoiding the annoying flirtations of pesky women
B. Landing field for woodpeckers
C. Easier to peel off crusty dandruff
D. Allows your ears to stand out
E. Not tempted to try a comb-over
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Jonathots Daily Blog
(3181)
It is reported that animals can smell fear.
I do not know if this particular “sniffology” is passed along in the human family, but I am fully aware as I travel and interact with my brothers and sisters, that there’s a strong apprehension in the air.
It’s not so much an odor as it is a loss of confidence and a disconcerting sense that doom looms too close to the home fires.
So in a season when the church should be rallying from its stagnancy because of the yearning of the human spirit to relieve tension, our ranks still seem to be filing out the back door.
There are those in theology who conclude that it’s due to a lack of serious religious reflection, and others who believe that we’ve not yet struck the right chord with the younger generation concerning traditions and the teaching offered for their children.
If you will allow me, I will tell you:
It’s similar to a chemistry teacher who constantly gives tests on formulas while never having the students do lab work.
Church is boring because the idea of God is stifling.
Church seems insipid because a Christ who offers eternal salvation doesn’t give us a Jesus who offers us Earth solutions.
We are stymied.
For fear of losing our “worship credentials,” we have sacrificed our human appeal.
The heavenly Father is a Creator, not a manufacturer. Not everything can be taught in a six-week series from the pulpit as we expound upon every reference in the Bible about love, and hope that folks will draw a pious conclusion.
Jesus was our brother–tempted as we are in every way and touched by our infirmities long before he became salvation through the cross. Thirty-three years of life can not be ignored because of three hours at Golgotha.
Until we have more of the Father and an abundance of Jesus, our churches will be full of dead men’s bones and promises that seem to have been “rain checked” until after death.
The good news is that God is our Father, Jesus is our brother and the Holy Spirit is not a ghost.
The better news is that the Holy Spirit has come to remind us about the goodness of our Father and the genius of Jesus.
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Jonathots Daily Blog
(2666)
From Act II, Scene VII of As You Like It, Shakespeare asserts that “all the world is a stage and all the men and women, merely players.”
Don’t kill off the competition.
You will be tempted to do so. The world around you encourages deception–in a passionate way–to gain a footing to win the role. And in doing so, you may be taught to be a detractor of another person’s talent.
Most plays have two main roles, and a whole bunch of character opportunities. Maybe you envision yourself to be a “lead role” type of person. But the deck is stacked against you, because once someone has been given a lead role and they’ve been successful, making money for the corporation, they will be favored for the next lead role.
You may find yourself disgruntled, on the sidelines, badmouthing the stars and insisting that you could do just as well.
No one likes that person. That person is normally written into the script of life as a villain or a pathetic loser.
To avoid the anger which leads to rage and jealousy, causing us to assassinate the character of our fellow-travelers, it is very important to learn where to go to be both happy and productive.
It’s a simple, four-step process:
1. Find a hole.
Yes, there are many things that are left undone, partially because they’re not very glamorous, or they appear to be more difficult. Find one of these–not just “the road less traveled,” but the opportunity less pursued.
2. Fill the hole.
Take that talent you’ve been reserving for the spotlight and move it stage right or stage left, and allow your best performance to shine.
3. Invite friends.
That’s right. Include other people in what you’ve discovered. There is nothing more powerful than making an obscure idea popular, and then walking away from it, so that you can…
4. Find a new hole.
The minute you discover that what you have begun has gained traction, look ahead to what humankind needs and start moving towards it.
There is no such thing as being “ahead of your time.” If you’re not ahead of your time, you’re waiting in line. Actually, being ahead of your time is just having the intelligence to know what is needed, and beating others to the market.
You will have a tendency to be a killer if you don’t learn how to be a doer.
And to become a doer, your job is not to build a super-highway, but instead… find great joy in filling in the pot holes.
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Jonathots Daily Blog
(2422)
Jesus had a penis.
Not only do these two words, “Jesus” and “penis” somewhat rhyme, but they are also included by a doctor named Luke in his account on the life of the Nazarene, stating that at eight days of age, the little fellow was circumcised.
Let me explain that circumcision is normally associated as a procedure done to the male penis.
So it is rather doubtful if any denomination or theologian would question the authenticity of Dr. Luke’s report, but instead, would find anyone such as myself, who would highlight it, as being gauche or perhaps sacrilegious. (For after all, our greatest concern is not to discover the truth, but instead, to make sure it fits in with present thinking.)
But it is very important to us that Jesus had a penis. And if you happen to be a male yourself, you understand that this appendage comes with a package of possibilities and problems.
The Good Book does nothing to deter us from understanding this. It states that Jesus was tempted in all ways as we are, and that he was touched with our infirmities.
But the importance does not lie in discussing the propriety of the “Jesus penis,” but to realize that deep within his teaching is a sensuality that cannot be mistaken.
He made it clear in the Sermon on the Mount that “he who looks on a woman to lust after her has already committed adultery in his heart.” Is this speculation? Doctrinal intrigue? Or personal discovery?
His ministry was intimate.
When you remove the sensuality from Jesus, you lose an understanding of the compassion he had for his fellow human beings.
And where did that compassion come from? Was it merely infused from a supernatural Holy Spirit, generating power from on high?
Or was it a man who had a penis, who was therefore made more sensitive to his brothers and his sisters?
Dr. Luke did us a favor. He let us know that Jesus lived a life with genitalia. Therefore Jesus pissed, he had wet dreams, he had erections and he had inclinations to lust–because the little fellow who rents the downstairs insists on all of that.
We will be a better church when we realize that Jesus was born with no advantage, but because he allowed the Holy Spirit into his heart, it opened the door to a love of others that was accentuated by his sensory anointing.
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Jonathots Daily Blog
(2421)
(Transcript)
It had never happened before.
There was going to be a carnival set up at the Westerville Shopping Center, right across the street from Redman’s Hardware.
Even though that in itself was cool, even cooler was that this cavalcade of amusements was advertising unlimited rides and midway games for five dollars for the whole day.
It was great.
The only trouble was, Randy and I didn’t have five dollars apiece, so I was ready to do my usual small-town plan of giving up and spending my carnival time complaining about missing the parade.
Randy, on the other hand, had an idea.
He went down to our local phone booth, sitting on the north corner of the Town Commons, and stuffed a bunch of Kleenex into the change return, so that when people missed a call or had money coming back their way, it would get caught and would not return to them.
I thought it was the dumbest idea I’d ever heard.
I wasn’t so concerned that it was dishonest as that I didn’t think we would ever get ten dollars out of such an adventure, with the money coming out in increments of ten cents a throw.
But Rand did it anyway, and three days later, when he pulled out the Kleenex, we ended up with a haul of $10.75.
Apparently a very popular phone booth.
We could not have been more giddy. We went to the carnival and had a fabulous time, never once feeling guilty about how we acquired the funds.
No, for me it was four days later.
I was sitting in my mother and father’s loan company, and I peered out the window and saw there was a policeman inspecting the phone booth.
It scared the crap out of me.
I had to do something–not out of guilt over my misstep, but rather, because I didn’t want to go to Juvenile Hall, where I heard they only served partially cooked pot pies.
So when my parents weren’t looking, I snuck into the safe of the loan company and grabbed a roll of dimes. I quietly stepped over to the phone booth, trying to pretend like I was going to make a call, and as calmly as possible, stuffed that whole role of dimes back into the slot, one at a time, to do recompense for my sin.
Once again, it never occurred to me that I stole from my parents to cover my previous thievery.
It was nearly three weeks later, when my uncle gave me five dollars for school supplies, that my conscience finally showed up.
I determined to go to the bank, purchase a roll of dimes and slip them back into the safe, no one the wiser.
Unfortunately, my plan was foiled by the fact that my parents hung around all day long, never giving me the chance to do penance.
I decided to try again the next day, but on the way home I passed by the local five and dime, and they were advertising candy bars–six for 20 cents.
Well, the only 20 cents I had was in the roll of dimes, and I thought, what the hell? What difference would two dimes make?
The next day I forgot to return my dimes to the loan company, but I did stop off at the Dairy Queen to get a hot dog and a coke, which took another seven dimes.
Long story short, within a week I spent all the dimes I had planned to return.
I didn’t feel bad–I felt stupid.
I did make one determination, and that was to never steal from the phone booth again. And when Randy tempted me, I changed the subject and refrained from further iniquity.
From then on, I went on a personal journey in search of my own integrity.
It was ten years later, long after my dad had died.
I was visiting my mother at her home, and I walked up to her and gently placed a roll of dimes into her hand. She looked up at me, quizzically.
I patted her on the shoulder and said, “It’s a really, really long story…”
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Jonathots Daily Blog
(2387)
What if a voice of sanity had risen up at various stages in the story of human history, to offer a challenging view when craziness was about to win the day?
If …
It was the third night in a row she had returned home from work brooding. It wasn’t that she was always a sparkling conversationalist, but now a sadness had etched its way onto her features, making her apppear continually unhappy, which left him a little disgruntled, feeling that he was somehow at fault.
Tired of being uncertain of her feelings and attitudes, he broached the issue.
“What’s wrong — and before you tell me nothing, let me tell you that I know there is something, so let’s work with it from that angle.”
She looked surprised.
He laughed. “So now you’re gonna act surprised,” he said. “I know you’re not surprised. You probably just don’t want to talk about it.”
She took a long pause–so lengthy that he almost inserted another opinion, but restrained himself to allow her space.
“I have something to tell you,” she began, tears forming in her eyes.
He squelched an internal flinch, wondering how this could end up with anything good.
She continued. “You know that tree we were supposed to avoid?”
He thought for a second, then remembered and nodded.
She went on with her tale. “Well, I was a little confused about it. Maybe even a little frustrated. So I spent some time down there, just checking it out. I immediately discovered it wasn’t that different from any other tree on our land. Matter of fact, it was rather pleasant looking. Appealing.”
He resisted the instinct to interrupt and just nodded again.
“Well, long story short, I got tempted, maybe even urged, to eat the fruit. And ever since then, I’ve felt guilty and naked.”
“What do you mean by naked?” he inquired.
She squinted. “You know. Without being covered.”
“Covered with what?” he asked, frowning.
“I don’t know. This is why I didn’t want to tell you. I knew you wouldn’t understand. You are so much a man…”
“Now I am confused,” he inserted. “We’ve never talked like this before. It was never ‘man’ and ‘woman.’ Just us. What’s going on?”
“I ate the goddamned fruit,” she screamed. “There! You’ve got it.”
Adam took a deep breath. He knew the next thing he would say was crucial. “So that’s why you feel bad?”
“No!” she said emphatically. “I feel good! Alive! Alert. Just confused. Maybe if you ate the fruit with me and shared in the experience we could work it out together. Aren’t you self-conscious about being naked?”
“Actually,” he replied, “I’m baffled about the concept. I just thought this is the way we came.”
She sighed, frowned, hissed and grumbled all at the same time. At length she spoke.
“So are you gonna eat the fruit with me or not?”
He took her by the shoulders, pulled her close and kissed her on the forehead.
“No. What we’re going to do is take you to our Creator and explain what happened.”
She pulled back in horror. “No damn way! He’s gonna kill me. Isn’t that what He said? If you eat the fruit you’ll die?”
“Yes,” said Adam. “But I didn’t know what it meant, so I just kind of ignored it.”
“I don’t want to die,” said Eve.
“I don’t want to lose you,” said Adam. “But … I don’t want to lose Him either. Don’t make me choose.”
She burst into tears. He embraced her and held her close.
“Listen,” he said. “If He loved us enough to make us, He sure can love us enough to forgive us.”
“Us?” she questioned.
“Yes. We’re in this together. And together, let’s go talk to Him.”
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Jonathots Daily Blog
(2325)
I have come to give you abundant life.
I have come so your joy can be full.
I have come to fulfill, not destroy.
I have come to give you rest.
I have come to serve, not to be served.
I have come to give you the power to become the sons and daughters of God.
I have come to bring a sword of dissension, which leads to true discovery.
I have prepared a place for you.
I have come to lay down my life.
I have come to be the light of the world.
I have come as the way, the truth and the life.
I have come to show you the Father.
I have come to proudly be the son of man.
I have come with a child-like heart.
I have come to separate the wheat from the chaff.
I have come to be the first fruits of many creatures.
I have come to preach the gospel to the poor.
I have been tempted in every way.
And most importantly, I have come to save … not condemn.
The producers of jonathots would humbly request a yearly subscription donation of $10 for this wonderful, inspirational opportunity
The Sermon on the Mount in music and story. Click the mountain!
Click here to get info on the “Gospel According to Common Sense” Tour
Please contact Jonathan’s agent, Jackie Barnett, at (615) 481-1474, for information about scheduling SpiriTed in 2014.
Click here to listen to Spirited music
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A voice writing in the wilderness
Jonathots Daily Blog 