Things I Learned from R. B. (July 12th, 2020)

Jonathots Daily Blog

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Episode 23

The phone rang.

Startled, I rolled over and peered at the clock.

2:54 A. M.

A chill went down my spine all the way to my bowels. Nothing good comes from a call in the middle of the night.

Nervously I answered on the fourth ring, trying to stall from hearing the news. It was R. B. I could hear the tears in his voice.

Through his garbled explanation I was able to discern that he was at County Hospital and had been brought there by ambulance. He was suffering from severe stomach pains.

I wanted to ask more. I wanted to know what he expected of me. But the last thing he said was, “Please come.”

Then he hung up.

I couldn’t envision what kind of person I would be if I ignored the request. Yet I wasn’t particularly impressed with the person I was going to be, throwing on my clothes and driving out in the middle of the night at the bequest of an ailing friend.

I didn’t want to do it alone, so I called Janet and she agreed to join me on the journey to County Hospital to see what was troubling R. B.

We tried to chat on the way, speculating a bit on what the case might be, but finally decided some late-night music from the radio in the dark was preferable.

Fortunately, I was able to remember from the conversation that he had inserted that he was on the fourth floor.

Stepping off the elevator we walked over to the nurse’s station and told her who we were looking for. She asked the classic question. “Are you family?”

Without even blinking an eye, Janet replied, “Yes, we are. His only family here.”

I nodded. It wasn’t exactly true, but it was very accurate. The nurse led us down the hallway to an examination room, where we found R. B. on a bed, surrounded by machines, with an IV in his arm.

We discovered that the machines were not attached to him, except for the one pumping some sort of juice through his veins.

Before we could ask a single question, a young doctor, assigned to R. B.’s case, came walking into the enclosure. I don’t remember his name—just that he had red hair and freckles.

I looked to R. B. to offer an explanation. Instead, he nodded his head toward the doctor to provide the facts.

It seemed that R. B. had a belly full of trouble—a deteriorating stomach lining, an enflamed esophagus, some aggravation in his upper bowels which had created a blockage and therefore generated the horrible pain.

In the time it took us to get to the hospital, they had provided treatment which brought him some relief, so R. B. was feeling better—and ready to leave

The doctor was not quite as optimistic. He began, “I’m glad the both of you are here to listen to what I’m going to say to the patient. Even though he is not an aged man, his stomach and bowels are in horrible shape and I have suggested to him that he stop smoking and cease drinking any alcohol for a while.”

The young doctor stopped—I think more or less to gauge our reaction. We all looked over at R. B.

Uncharacteristically sheepish, R. B. replied, “I can do that.”

But the doctor was unsatisfied. “I know you can do that,” he said. “The question is—will you do that? You’re reaching the age where people die from stupid behavior.”

I was a little shocked at the doctor’s approach.

He pushed on. “I would like to have a nickel for every time I’ve had to give this speech to some patient that I know is not listening—who will go home and immediately feel better from the fluids and medication we gave him. Soon, they’re right back into self-destruction.”

Feeling the need to take some of the gloom off the room, I offered, “Well, we can help him, doctor. And R. B. has been known to turn a page or two and write another chapter.”

I was very pleased with my poetic answer.

R, B. was about to speak when the doctor interrupted, unimpressed. “Let me leave it at this,” he said. “If you continue to do what you do, you won’t live another five years.”

This last statement really surprised me, because whenever I talked to R. B., he was convinced he would outlive me because of my obesity. He always joked that he would steal everything I owned after I died—including my wife and kids.

So this last statement from the doctor changed R. B. from a willing patient to an impatient, willing fighter. “I told you I would do better,” he snarled.

I knew that voice. That was the lightning before the thunder of his temper. I asked the doctor if I could speak to him outside/ We wandered into the hall and stepped into a waiting room.

Before I could speak conciliatory words, the doctor looked me right in the eye and said, “He’s got to change—or he’s not gonna make it.”

My speech deserted me.

My attempts to reason with the young physician disappeared.

I felt tears come to my eyes.

I don’t know what emotion was trying to come to the surface. Was it pity? Was it anger?

I shook the doctor’s hand and thanked him, dried the moisture in my eyes and headed into R. B.’s room with a cheery spark.

We left him alone to put on his clothes and drove him home, stopping off to get some vanilla ice cream and 7-Up, which he said sounded good to him. Once he was situated in his own bed, he was overtaken by sleepiness, so we excused ourselves, drove home and tried to grab a little sleep from the remaining night.

The next day I called R. B. but there was no answer.

Two days later, he called me and said he wanted to have one of our sessions. Speculating on the purpose for the meeting, I said, “Are we going to chat about your health problems?”

He went silent.

So I asked him again, “I mean, are we going to discuss what happened the other night?”

While admitting that he had been in the hospital, R. B. refused to agree that it was meaningful. Rather, it was an over-reaction by him, due to gas.

I wasn’t sure what to do.

I knew the doctor would want me to challenge him.

Maybe I should have. I don’t know.

There are times when, to be a friend, you have to pretend that things are not the way they actually appear.

 

Scrambles … February 18th, 2020

Jonathots Daily Blog

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Take a few minutes and unscramble this week’s inspirational thought from the words provided:

 

dark

rain

clouds

no

bring

but

sometimes

thunder

 

P. S.  Find the unscrambled answer in today’s jonathotsjr.com


 

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The L Word … April 23rd, 2019

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THE

Image result for Gifs of the letter L

WORD


Well, I was having a devil of a time deciding between two different words that I wanted to select as the nasty one that should never be spoken aloud.

It had to be an “L word,” of course, and a pair came to my mind. After thinking about it for a few minutes, I realized the reason I was having such a hard time figuring out which one to choose is that the two are brothers. Maybe even twins.

So if I can break my own rule, I will tell you that I have decided to bring this duo of damnation to the forefront together for public incrimination.

So the L Word, or in this case, words, that should never be spoken again are:

Luck and Loser

I am a firm believer that anything that makes anyone believe that he or she is destined by the stars, the heavens or hell itself to be a certain way—well, that thing, or in this case, these words need to be attacked.

We are free-will creatures. We are not born, trapped in a body, a mind, a heart or even a soul. We have the freedom to reject all insinuations or even genetic leanings.

When you remove free will from people you start talking about two other diabolical ideas:

Blessing and Cursing

Here you go—I am not blessed, because I’m not cursed. And I’m not cursed sitting around waiting for approval to receive blessing. I am an independent agent, working on Planet Earth, trying to understand its science, its natural order and its humanity.

Once I believe that I am waiting for good luck to imbue me with blessing, or bad luck to curse me to become a loser, I actually at the beckoning of indifference, apathy and laziness.

There are three lies that make us feel as if we are controlled by luck, causing us to believe that some people are born losers.

Lie #1: You are not in control

Yes, you are. And if you aren’t, the whole idea of Earth, living, and even spirituality falls apart as a house of cards of hypocrisy. You are in control of your life, so start acting like it.

No one’s going to come and “take your wheel” nor is anyone going to come and steal your thunder. This is your life. Using words like “luck and loser” cast people into deep, dark shadows, making it difficult for them to feel their way through the bleak surroundings to discover purpose. How about another lie?

Lie #2: You are cursed or blessed.

Since God is no respecter of persons, He can neither curse you nor bless you. In both cases, He would be showing favoritism. He won’t.

It is possible to obtain mercy and it is certainly in the realm of consideration to be given grace. But to get mercy you have to give mercy and for grace to kick into your life, you have to remain humble.

I am grateful for mercy and grace. But it still is in my hands and my actions to receive them. After all, amazing grace is not so amazing if you’re not amazed.

And the final lie that traps people into thinking about luck and calling one another “loser” is:

Lie #3: God has a wonderful plan for your life.

There is an independence in the human spirit that was placed there by the Creator. Adam had no problem telling God, in Eden, that having thousands of animals around was insufficient for fellowship, but that he required someone more personal. Each one of us has a voice.

The truth: God has given you a wonderful life for your plan.

For He will never give you free will and then renege on the deal.

Here’s my version of luck—I live my life like I’m expecting opportunity, and when it dribbles in, I use it and expand it the best I possibly can.

I find that I only become a loser when I believe I don’t have enough to do something that would start me in the right direction.

Luck and loser—words born of darkness

You don’t need luck.

What you need is to take an inventory of what you truly have and find a way to win just a few more than you lose.


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Jesonian … June 9th, 2018

 Jonathots Daily Blog

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It wasn’t a “God-storm.”

The disciples were wrong. They were wacked-out–frantic over a poor use of faith.

They were probably reflecting back to several weeks earlier, when they were in the middle of the Sea of Galilee, got swatted by a cloud burst with huge waves, thunder and lightning, were surrounded by other little boats, and Jesus walked on the water to save them.

Now, that was a “God-storm.” In other words, a storm that required the hand of God. But the little squall that blew up on this night was not a “God-storm.”

The disciples should have known–for Jesus was sound asleep on a pillow in the boat.

Let’s keep in mind–you’ve got four fishermen on this craft–at least that many. This isn’t their first raft trip. It’s not the first time they saw the waters well up around them.

But back before they were disciples–when they were men–they handled it. If they didn’t, they died.

But now, you see, they had faith.

And their faith, instead of making them whole, had made them lazy.

They didn’t need to wake up Jesus. They had just grown accustomed to the Master handling all the difficulties, and they were in no mood to put themselves in jeopardy by practicing what they had been taught.

They didn’t want to “take no thought” about the storm.

They didn’t want to be the “salt of the Earth and the light of the world.”

They were completely content being followers–while Jesus was trying to make leaders.

They were lazy.

This is the same problem we have in the Christian church today. The faith we espouse is making us lazy instead of whole.

For I will tell you–I cannot attest to the fact that the Christians I know are the nicest people I know.

I cannot testify that these same Christians are the smartest, most generous, most open-minded and most forgiving people I have encountered.

They are simply too damn lazy from living off grace to use their faith.

Somehow or another, Jesus had called men to be on his team, and they had all turned into little children: “Daddy! We’re gonna drown! Don’t you care?”

Even two ounces of faith would tell you that if Jesus is asleep on the pillow, this must be a livable situation.

Maybe it’s a “Me-storm.” That’s one that only requires “me” involved to produce a safe conclusion.

Maybe it’s an “Us-storm.” That would include my partner and myself, working together to provide energy, brains and faith.

Perhaps it’s a “We-storm.” We might have to beckon the whole family, maybe the congregation, the town, or who knows? The nation.

But when it’s not a “God-storm,” don’t expect God to take care of it.

Jesus wanted his disciples to trust him. But he wanted to trust them, too.

So if you want to have a Christian walk and you want to be Jesonian, you’ll have to learn the difference between a “God-storm” and a “Me-storm.”

After all, it’s not that God fails to answer your prayers. He just wonders why you’re so lazy, and don’t answer your own.

*****

If you like the mind of Jesus without religion, buy the book!

                $7.99 plus S&H

*******

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G-Poppers … October 28th, 2016

 Jonathots Daily Blog

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Jon close up

“A storm,” says G-Pop.

  • Certainly everybody gets wet.
  • Some souls are frightened by the lightning.
  • Others are chilled by the thunder.
  • The wind blows a portion away.
  • And many suffer under the devastation–loss of heart and home.

When the storm ceases, the healing needs to begin.

In what should have been a celebration of our democracy, our unity and our abiding purpose, the 2016 Presidential campaign has been a storm which has swept across our land, terrifying the citizens. Even those who prided themselves on being resilient, or were accustomed to boarding up their feelings to protect themselves from the onslaught, have been shocked by the fury of the blast.

It is certain that November 9th will still usher in a season of great conflict which will require sane people of hope and faith to step in and restore healing.

What will the healing be? The removal of complexity, providing a path to simplicity.

We will have to stop being Republicans, Democrats, old, young, people of color, white, poor or rich, and instead, nurture ourselves on the beliefs that have eternal power and everlasting worth.

G-Pop has decided to be a contributor to the common good. It doesn’t make him special–but it does make his mission purposeful.

Three treatments will be necessary to set in motion the remission from stupidity and the beginning of restoration:

1. Love your neighbor as yourself.

There’s no replacement for it. “No one is better than anyone else” is not a slogan, but rather, a constant reminder that attempting to find differences stymies commonality.

2. Take responsibility for your own life.

Stop blaming the government, abortion, the gay community or Wall Street. Count your pennies, and find things you can buy for a penny. Count your talents and multiply them. And count your blessings and be thankful.

3. Be of good cheer.

Good cheer is not happiness, but rather, a road map to get to it. It is a decision to maintain peace and stillness in the midst of the storm. For I will tell you–the storms are not gone. There are more coming.

So we must heal, but also prepare.

G-Pop offers this definition for our strength:

Nothing happens until we show up; nothing is over until we give up.

 

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Jesonian: Reverend Meningsbee (Part 25) Go Help Someone Else … October 16th, 2016

 Jonathots Daily Blog

(3096)

Reverend Meningsbee

Meningsbee had always found it much easier to memorize the Beatitudes than to adhere to them.

Along with his “wayward wishings on the Web,” he seemed to have an inability to express consideration to other Earthlings. He didn’t feel animosity, just found that fellowshipping was better performed, in his mind, by reading a fine book.

When he woke up on Wednesday, it struck him that he had not interacted with Matrisse and little Hapsy for some time.

Guilt settled in.

Like many mortals, Meningsbee pretended to despise guilt, but often welcomed it as a warm comforter for a chilled thought. So the first thing he did was incriminate himself for failing to be in contact, and treating Matrisse like she was a drop-off center for abandoned children.

He fussed over that for a season, nearly sprouting a tear, and then was able to don appropriate pastoral garb and head off to her house. The activity did lift his spirits, and he began to feel like a preacher again. After all, when you stand behind the holy desk and thunder everlasting truths, it is good to give a damn about souls.

He arrived at the house, took a deep breath, and exited his car. As he walked up the steps to offer solace and comfort to Matrisse, the door flung open in front of him and there she was–squared off, staring at him as if some monster had invaded her porch.

“What do you want?” she challenged.

Stunned, he tried to respond. “I just came over…”

She interrupted. “You came over here because you’re a parson–and think you should interfere in people’s lives when they haven’t asked for your help.”

He paused, surprised, because she had pretty much nailed the situation. That’s exactly what he thought.

She continued. “Listen, Reverend, I’m not like other people. It’s not as if I despise them for being weak, but my thought is, I go to church to take the Word, to answer my questions, to create the sentences for me to go out and make a statement. I don’t cry a lot, but I also don’t bitch. I don’t fuss with other people, especially if they decide to learn their lesson and not fuss with me. And I don’t judge a young girl who had a baby because she forgot how to close her legs, who right now would rather be just a lost child herself. Hapsy seems happy. I feed her. I love her. She laughs. She thinks I have a big belly. So I pretend my stomach can talk, using my belly button as a mouth. She thinks that’s hilarious. I am not looking for help and most certainly–dear God–I’m not looking for pity or the wise words of some seminarian who spent too much time at the library. Let me take the message you preach on Sunday and act it out–so this little girl has a chance to be something other than a stripper, or a nervous sermon-maker.”

She took time out to breathe, glaring at Meningsbee, content she had made her point. He thought about explaining his motivations or trying to convey to her the need to let the community of believers share in her struggle, or just allowing him fifteen minutes to come inside and have a cup of her most delicious tea.

But he waited too long, because Matrisse punctuated her soliloquy with one final thought. This one was a little more tender.

“Listen, Richard. Why don’t you…”

She paused, leaning forward, changing over to a whisper.

“Go…find…someone…else…to help.”

Richard–Reverend Meningsbee–the Shepherd of the Garsonville Church–agreed.

He smiled, turned on his heel and walked back to his car.

As he climbed in, he thought, if the world had been filled with folks like Matrisse, Jesus could have retired instead of being buried by his critics.

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G-11: Mad, Sad, Glad … February 14, 2014

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  • We feel safe.Titanic
  • We made it.
  • The thunder rolled, the winds blew by and the rain ceased.

We’re standing on dry land, having escaped another near-disaster, feeling no repercussions whatsoever from the disruption–just grateful to be alive.

Little do we know that this is the most dangerous juncture in life. It is when we accidentally carry the anxiety of the previous encounter into the future, without realizing that the residue is hanging from us.

Yes, we are still mad: “It ain’t right.”

Or maybe sad: “It ain’t fair.”

But the once-confident spirit that propelled us into deeper and deeper adventures of faith is now making us cautious. We accept this new profile under the guise of being “well-seasoned,” But actually, we are not the same.

We have lost a bit of the joy that makes us the people we are, and when we realize it, we become defensive, insisting that nothing has changed.

What is the countenance of the average person you see on the street, when they don’t realize they’re being observed? A mad frown? A sad droop? Or maybe a blending of the two?

If maturity depresses us, then what is the purpose of growing older?

How can we overcome the extra destruction done by the storms of life which inflict unseen damage to our foundation? We gotta be honest: just because we’re standing on dry land does not mean we have escaped being drenched in worry.

We want to reach glad. We want to escape the sensation of “it ain’t right” and “it ain’t fair,” to arrive at a jubilant feeling of good cheer: “It ain’t gonna kill me.”

Sometimes we think projecting a brave front is a sign of our willingness to avoid doubt. But actually, acknowledging that the trials and tribulations that came our way did impact us but were unable to destroy us is the best way to escape the madness and the sadness.

For after all, mad people are cocked and ready to strike out at others, who unwittingly trigger aggravating memories.

And sad people are ill-prepared to enter into new relationships which certainly will require a bit of adjustment and forgiveness.

It isn’t just about surviving–it’s about surviving and candidly admitting how amazing and miraculous it was to be rescued. And then, to have the sense of humor to progress, keeping an eye on our motives, and healing our wounds instead of hiding them.

I am glad. This does not mean that everything is all right. It does not mean that I was saved from all the ravages of my temptations without any casualties. It means I lived. And in living, I am open to the dual process of inner healing and outer expressions of creativity.

Beware–being placed in the lifeboat is miraculous.

But it does not mean you will avoid horrible memories of the sinking vessel and fleeting trepidations to sail again.

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Click for details on the SpirTed 2014 presentation

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