Cracked 5 … June 19th, 2018


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3708)

cracked 5 logo keeper with border

Really Odd Reasons to Get Married

A.  To have that tan line around your ring finger so when you take a shower you can jump up and down in your birthday suit, saying, “Yay-yay, yay-yay! Look at me!”

 

B.  Your spouse’s breath smells like onion rings, so your mind never drifts too far from Burger King

 

C.  Turns out, with the union and marriage, you can stay with your same bank

 

D.  Your husband has a pet ostrich named Oscar, and he really, really, really likes you

 

E.  You are able to find the perfect last name to go with your first one–so much so that it even rhymes: Carol Farrell.

 

Donate ButtonThe producers of jonathots would humbly request a yearly subscription donation for this wonderful, inspirational opportunity

 

 

 

Cracked 5 … June 12th, 2018


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3701)

cracked 5 logo keeper with border

Things You Can Learn About a North Korean Dictator a Mere Minute After Meeting Him

A. He talks funny

 

B. He has funny eyes

 

C. He has funny hair

 

D. His uniform is really funny

 

E. He, on the other hand, is not funny

 

Donate ButtonThe producers of jonathots would humbly request a yearly subscription donation for this wonderful, inspirational opportunity

 

 

 

Cracked 5 … May 29th, 2018


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3687)

cracked 5 logo keeper with border

Ways You Can Tell a Washington Politician is Lying

A. He offers an explanation before an answer

 

B. He drinks water between answers

 

C. He wears a blue or red tie

 

D. He brought with him a staff member to blame

 

E. His comb-over seems “poofier”

 

Donate ButtonThe producers of jonathots would humbly request a yearly subscription donation for this wonderful, inspirational opportunity

 

 

 

Cracked 5 … May 22nd, 2018


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3674)

cracked 5 logo keeper with border

Names for Farts That Sound Like English Royal Families

 

A. The Earl of Stench

 

B. Richard the Lion-Farted

 

C. The Stuart of Squirt

 

D. Mary Queen of Pots

 

E. The House of Tooter

 

Donate ButtonThe producers of jonathots would humbly request a yearly subscription donation for this wonderful, inspirational opportunity

 

 

 

Cracked 5 … May 8th, 2018


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3666)

cracked 5 logo keeper with border

Due to the recent notoriety given to Stormy Daniels, a porn actress, below are some other women from that industry who would like to present their names for consideration, which also are marked by meteorological mention:

A. Partly Cloddy

 

B. Com-u-lust

 

C. I-drought-that

 

D. Her-i-came

 

E. Whornado

Donate Button

 

Cracked 5 … April 24th, 2018


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3652)

cracked 5 logo keeper with border

Things You Cannot Say Unless You Want to Be Dubbed a Racist

A. “I’m not a racist.”

 

B. “Then they are racists, too.”

 

C. “As Dr. King said…”

 

D. “You have to admit, things are better…”

 

E. “I honor all cultures, including my own.”

Donate Button

 

Cracked 5 … April 10th, 2018


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3638)

cracked 5 logo keeper with border

Possible Reasons the Syrian Government is Killing Its Own People

A.  A unique approach to food shortages

 

B.  Chasing that record of six million Jews murdered by the Nazis

 

C.  “You always hurt the ones you love”

 

D.  SYRIA-OUSLY insane

 

E.  Expiration date coming up soon on poison gas cannisters

Donate Button

 

%d bloggers like this: