Jonathots Daily Blog
(2857)
Dear Man: What do you want from me?
Dear Woman: Well, I guess, everything.
Dear Man: Everything?
Dear Woman: Was that the wrong answer? Because if I said “nothing,” it wouldn’t sound very good.
Dear Man: I’m not trying to trick you. I’ve just been thinking about it a lot. I’ve come up with this idea of the “Flirty Thirty.”
Dear Woman: I’m listening…
Dear Man: I think as men and women what we really want from each other–30 percent of what we’re trying to acquire–is simply the knowledge that we’re attractive.
Dear Woman: I can see where that would be important.
Dear Man: And I don’t think it’s just man to woman. I think it’s also man to man and woman to woman. As human beings, we need to believe that we are viable to the tribe. Sexual.
Dear Womn: I think I’m getting your point. But do you think it’s possible to be considered sexual without trying to take it to the next stage, of having sex?
Dear Man: I not only think so, I believe we need to teach people that flirting and granting others the blessing of knowing that they’re part of the race, and they’re not a bunch of trolls or tree stumps, is necessary to their self-worth, without communicating that every boost of confidence is making a pass at someone.
Dear Woman: I think women do that to men by expressing admiration and respect.
Dear Man: I think it’s the same thing for women. Women want to be admired and respected.
Dear Woman: So what happens if the “Flirty Thirty” is misinterpreted, and you get other people jealous or it leads to a bunch of affairs?
Dear Man: Well, it does. That’s the problem. Because we’ve declared a war between the genders, we have begun to believe that the only thing that unites us is a mutual interest in sex. So we try to live on 30 percent of a relationship, which causes more romantic collisions than true encounters of mutual understanding.
Dear Woman: So what you’re saying is that if you flirt with me, you’re not saying you want to go to bed, you’re granting me the gift of knowing that you don’t find me repulsive, and you’re fully aware that somebody might want to go to bed with me?
Dear Man: Yeah, that’s kind of it. And the reason I say that men do it to men is because we have this phrase, “he’s a man’s man”–which really means that men think he’s so manly that they’re sure women would want him.
Dear Woman: And with women to women, it’s the imitation one woman has of another woman’s approach, which flatters her sexuality.
Dear Man: Yeah, I think so.
Dear Woman: So why don’t people talk about the Flirty Thirty?
Dear Man: Because they either put too much emphasis on sex or they approach it too casually, instead of realizing that the value of our sexuality is to become better humans.
Dear Woman: So what you’re saying is, if I don’t think I’m sexy, I may not have the oom-pah to give a damn about much of anything else.
Dear Man: Yeah. It may sound shallow, but it’s true. I need to feel attractive to attract, so that I can discover the real attractions of life.
Dear Woman: That was nicely said. So we’ve got the Flirty Thirty–what about the other 70 percent?
Dear Man: That’s enough for now, cutie.
Dear Woman: Cutie? You know, you’re right. It works.
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Jonathots Daily Blog 
Sit Down Comedy … May 1st, 2020
Jonathots Daily Blog
(4397)
Normal people work abnormally hard to appear normal.
Not for me.
It seems exhausting, if not humiliating.
I am peculiar, set apart—engaged in an uncommon consciousness, constantly and purposely dismantling the complexity into its simpler units.
I am peculiar.
How do I know? I respond to the information provided.
I get on the bus in front of me, noting that it’s been a while since any buses have passed by. For to remain normal, you must coincide with the majority.
A vote is always being taken.
It would be best if you voted with the masses, but acceptably good if you change your mind and disappear into the crowd.
I am peculiar.
I don’t think women will gain equality by acting their rendition of being men. Matter of fact, the whole concept of gender equality is foolish since we are all so much the same. It makes me giggle that we continue to try to compare the two, when oneness seems obvious.
The black man will never be able to tell his black sister that they are humans as long as they’re encouraged to rally without seeing improvement, struggle minus achievement and fail to guard their offspring from being cursed as inferior due to crime and sloth.
Religion is the wicked stepmother who refuses to let the children sit and dine with Father. Religion wants Father all to herself, so she can stumble from His presence to establish the rules and regulations which turn seekers into the distraught.
I am peculiar because I don’t think art is a paint by number set, with stipulations being made up by frustrated, discordant human trolls who have lost their lust for life and sit around finding ways to mock and condemn the human race.
I am peculiar because I hate politics.
Politics dresses up in a jim-dandy suit and marches off, teaspoon in hand, to fill the ocean of need while simultaneously carrying a thimble to empty the shit-hole.
Verily, verily, I say unto you, our common sense is not allowed to be common and is spurned for having too much practicality.
I am peculiar.
I’m not better than anyone.
I wear my flaws and virtues in equal glory.
I am not superior.
I am satisfied with my humanity, sporting its knowledge of good and evil.
What I see are beautiful people who smear mud, acid, poison and medications all over themselves in an attempt to emerge beautiful.
Why? Because it’s normally accepted that we possess an ugliness that needs disguised.
I can no longer condone a God who hates humans and wants them to become little gods so He can destroy them for their presumption.
What’s it like to be normal? How does it feel?
Do you ever have a moment’s rest?
Do you grow weary in well-doing?
Do you ever wish to do less, yet become so much more?
Do you want your vote to be honored instead of tallied by crooked counters bound to a party?
Do you wish that heaven was more real because you feel God on the Earth?
Are you sick to death of being normal when it really isn’t your choice, but rather, a fallback position of a generation of frightened dreamers?
How peculiar.
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- Practical Spirituality
on May 1, 2020 at 7:48 pm Leave a CommentTags: comedy, commentary, complexity, gender equality, Humanity, majority, masses, normal, paint by number, peculiar, politics, practicality, racism, regulations, religion, trolls