Jonathots Daily Blog
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Ways to Avoid Getting a Speeding Ticket
A. Don’t speed.
Yes, but it is the vanilla selection in a Baskin-Robbins of citation snippers.
B. Drive drunk.
A bold choice, “Bomberinski!” Considering the possibilities of death by car and vehicular homicide, it just might draw attention away from your zooming, with a DUI, which certainly is hysterically historical.
C. The old “speed blabber.”
When detained by Patrolman Bob, start babbling incoherently about racing off to save baby seals in the Gulf of Wikiwonton. You will spend some time in the “Crazy Box”–but no speeding ticket.
D. Speed of light.
Coppy can’t fine what coppy can’t catch. Baby, the Force is you.
E. Flashback.
Tell the Smokey that last year, your wife had a baby on this very freeway, and you were too slow to get to the hospital. Today as you were driving, it was like it was happening again. (Begin pounding the steering wheel.) “I was there, man. Do you feel me?? I was there!”
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