Confessing … October 24th, 2015

 Jonathots Daily Blog

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XXV.

I confess so I can heal.

If I deny, I remain sick.

I was the chief “piety” officer for a crew of young swabs who also viewed themselves as aspiring artists.

We also were certain that we were better Christians because we had a “heart for the poor.” We sought out opportunities to benefit those in poverty in our community, thinking that we had become the right arm of Jesus of Nazareth.

Things went along pretty well until the little dab we were able to do was not sufficient to cover the chasm of lack that existed among the locals.

One day a woman came and asked me if she could get some help. She was in tears–nearly hysterical–as she explained that her rent was due, her children without food and her electricity was about to be turned off.

She needed $480.

We had never donated that much before, but she touched my heart.

So I decided to go see an elderly couple who had befriended me, named the O’Dells.

They had taken a liking to me and even invited me to come to their church once a month to share my thoughts and feelings. So great was their generosity that they purchased me a suit so I would be correctly attired for these visitations.

Thinking to myself that the O’Dells might not wish to finance this woman’s need without another reason, I decided to lie to them. I told them that I needed the $480 for a small surgical procedure.

I think they knew I was misleading them, but they reluctantly agreed and loaned me the money.

You see, I made it a loan because the lady had told me that she had government assistance arriving in the next few weeks and would pay me back. I believed her.

When I presented her with the finance, she fell on my neck in tears, declaring me everything possible short of divine.

I was absorbed in my own sense of importance.

Three weeks passed, then a month–and my lady never showed up. I went searching for her and discovered that she was gone.

Possessing a childish nature, I decided to avoid the O’Dells and not tell them about my dilemma. I even cancelled speaking at the church so as not to encounter them.

It was almost two months later that I was walking through the local mall and ran headlong into them. They asked me how I had been, since they were concerned about my “surgical procedure.”

I decided to come clean and tell them the whole story. I concluded my tale by apologizing for the fact that I did not have the money to pay them back.

Mr. O’Dell said that it was not about the money–they just loved me, and were very hurt that I had deceived them.

Mrs. O’Dell gave me a hug and walked away sadly.

It was ten years later that I got together a little finance and sought out the O’Dells in an attempt to pay them back for their generosity, but they had passed on to their well-deserved reward.

I learned much from that experience.

Jesus told us that the poor don’t ever go away, so we should make sure that we take care of our own affairs–and then, if we have abundance, give generously, but responsibly, to the need.

I had no right to borrow money to appear magnanimous. I hurt two people to help one.

It’s not a good trade.

 

 

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The NoOne Caper … September 24, 2012

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I had a dream.

It was in late October, 2011. As far as I know, I wasn’t thinking about anything particularly philosophical or even considering what I might be sharing in the coming year, 2012. But I had a vivid vision, filled with emotion, anxiety, joy and energy, about conveying a specific mission in that coming year. It was a typical dream in the sense that the images had significance in the moment and were difficult to explain later, when sleep had disappeared.

But there is one thing that came out of the experience that is as clear as a bell–it was six words. They were to become my central theme as I journeyed across the country in 2012: NoOne is better than anyone else.

Two immediate problems presented themselves.

First, Janet pointed out to me that “no one” was not a compound word, and that it should be dubbed the Seven Word Tour. I normally try not to be stubborn, but I really felt impressed from my nighttime visitation, that the theme was to be six words. So we went on the Internet, checked with grammar sources, and found what one often does when seeking an answer concerning the English language–it could be this, it could be that. Some sources said that “no one” was two separate words. Others insisted it was a normal compound word, separated because it was thought that the two o’s placed together looked rather odd. (Honestly, that’s why I like it. Two o’s look like a pair of eyeballs staring at you, checking out your reaction.) So even though I have great respect for English grammar, I decided that since I was given license, I would pursue my own path. (However, even though I validated the choice, I still occasionally have folks come up to me, thinking they are clever by pointing out that it’s really seven words. I just smile.)

The second problem was a little bit more deeply ingrained within our culture. After all, we live in a society that holds conventions in which discussions ensue on how important it is to not mistreat cows while simultaneously serving fillet mignon at the banquet. In other words, some notions have become high-sounding ideals instead of practical pursuits. Unfortunately, that’s kind of what has happened with “do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” We have basically decided that this principle is completely implausible, and even though we allow it to be spoken in public, everyone quietly retreats from its purity because of its difficulty and seemingly inhuman feasibility.

So I knew when I stood in front of an audience and said, “NoOne is better than anyone else,” I would receive mixed reviews–at best a nod of assent followed by a quiet grunt of disapproval.

But I came to the conclusion that everything evil that has ever happened in our world was forged in the fires of supremacy. When we believe that we are to live our lives by the rules of the jungle, using domination as the settling ground for all conflict, we are admitting that possessing a larger brain and an eternal spirit is useless to us.

This is not the surrender that we should accept without a fight. Let me repeat it: everything born of darkness in the human experience begins with the notion that “i am better than you.”

• Six million skeleton, slain, Jewish innocents were thrown into mass graves because one man was able to propel a message of the supremacy of his supposed Super Race.
• Over three hundred denominations of churches met yesterday in America, not simply because they favor one style of worship over another, but because at some point, doctrinally, the forefathers of their faith believed they had found a more enlightened path which made them better than their brothers and sisters.
• The Republican Party believes it is better than the Democrat Party.
• The Democrats believe they are better–more high-minded–than the Republicans.
• A white man, even though enlightened by his experience and journey, will still sprout nervous energy when in the presence of a black man–not quite sure how to carry on a conversation because the whole climate of his world has screamed his preeminence over his darker-skinned brother.

This pervasive philosophy not only creates an impasse, but an obstinate, disguised anger that pouts in the corner, refusing to participate in détente.

When I looked at those six words–NoOne is better than anyone else–I realized I was headed for an experience rife with blessing and froth with controversy. So if you will allow me, over the next several days I will give you the ten objections I have received to my dream message from October 2011–NoOne is better than anyone else.

These assertions tickled me but also gave me pause to find the reasoning, both spiritually and intellectually, to prop up this valuable axiom.

So tomorrow I will start with what I call The California Consideration–the two objections presented to me while I was in the Golden State. I hope you will come along. It will be great fun, and like all good things that are entertaining, will certainly have its moments of inspiration.

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