Jonathots Daily Blog
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Jonathots Daily Blog
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How do you keep politics and religion from ruining a family gathering?
Life is truly about giving–but not merely in the sense of being generous. Rather, it’s about learning early and permanently when to give effort and when to give up.
Giving up can actually be one of the more noble steps of submission to overwhelming evidence. And giving effort is essential to achieve progress.
I bring this up in relationship to your question, because in order to have a good family gathering, you must know when to give effort and when to give up.
First of all, give up on changing people. You can’t, you won’t and you shouldn’t.
If Uncle Fred is a Republican, he will probably leave Thanksgiving evening equally as convinced. If Aunt Margaret is a Democrat, she will likewise ride her donkey out the door. And if any of your relatives claim to be atheists or insist that “all baptism must be by immersion or you’re not saved,” it is always a Godless pursuit to change those who are “all wet.”
So what can you do during a family gathering to be productive, but faithful to your own ideals? There is one simple, easy step:
Never speak in the abstract.
Talk about your own life–your own goals, your own anecdotes–and in so doing, you gently confirm your beliefs.
In other words, if someone says “the homeless are a blight on the conscience of America,” wait until the conversation changes, and then double back and say, “I was waiting at a light at Wal-Mart, and a fellow was there with a sign, looking for money, so I rolled down my window with two dollars and I gave it to him, and he was so appreciative that it nearly made me cry.”
Then leave it alone.
When it comes to religion, humor is always your best vehicle:
“Well, I was driving down the road and I was nearly out of gas in a country setting and I wasn’t sure I would find a station. So I kept my eyes open, checked my GPS, but also–call me crazy–I said a little prayer. I’m not sure which one worked, or whether they worked together, but three minutes later I was at a gas station getting fueled up.”
Since you can’t change people, give up on that and instead, give effort into what you can change: your attitude toward people.
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Jonathots Daily Blog
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“After all–we’re all different.”
The words were spoken and the crowd gradually joined in with applause. G-Pop sat and listened carefully.
Something didn’t ring true.
The way to overcome intolerance is not to accentuate our differences. To think that human beings are capable of acknowledging differences among us without secretly holding prejudice against the person who dares to be different is absolutely ridiculous.
We are not divine. We are human. As humans, we are looking for reasons to find commonality.
This holds true in every relationship:
The path to peaceful coexistence is commonality.
How much do I have in common with you in comparison to our differences? Candidly, the word “difference” begins with “differ.”
If we do differ from one another, the process is simple: if we’re civilized, we walk away to avoid an argument. If we aren’t quite so civilized, we stand there and argue.
I do not know when the definition of “toleration” became biting one’s lip and pretending to accept things that don’t make sense. Toleration is finding places of common ground and celebrating them.
The “pendulum do swing.”
In a short period of time, we’ve gone from being a nation that was abusive to the gay community to a nation which now has a plurality which is willing to include gay marriage. But we will never have true openness with one another until we find the linking parts. We can’t fake receptivity.
For I have no intention of taking the social standing of old religion, ISIS and Vladimir Putin and joining with them against the homosexual community. But I came to this conclusion not because I looked at my brothers and sisters as obtuse and unusual, but because they use words that are common to me: freedom, brotherhood, love, relationship and tenderness.
We are not going to become better people by pretending we are tolerant. We become better people when we find common ways that we share in common, accentuating our common values.
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A voice writing in the wilderness
Jonathots Daily Blog 