Sit Down Comedy … November 1st, 2019

Jonathots Daily Blog

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“It’s simple.”

Remember when that was a positive statement?

Fear, anxiety or nervous energy might grip your soul, and someone would come along and reassure you that what you were about to do wasn’t terribly complex, and had certainly been done many, many times before.

Then…something changed.

I don’t know exactly what it was—you can sit around with your friends and develop all sorts of conjectures on what caused us to devolve from creatures who were grateful for simplicity to a more pompous, edgy and cranky configuration that seems to prefer difficulty and struggle.

Matter of fact, play a game.

Sit down and watch some television—the news, dramas and comedies—and count how many times you hear:

“Life is complicated.”

“It’s not gonna be easy.”

“Somebody just needs to grow up and realize there’s lots of twists and turns.”

“We need to be ready to take on the battle.”

Maybe I’m lazy, but I don’t like to work harder than I need to.

Maybe I’m stupid, but I don’t want to learn things I don’t have to learn.

And maybe I’m immature, but I believe life was bestowed upon us to find happiness, not to fester despair.

So if you’re in the mood to escape an overly tangled web, let me simplify things:

There aren’t thousands of different cultures, millions of different personalities and billions of unique individuals.

Human beings fall into two easy-to-understand categories:

1. I am looking for a world which will adjust to me.

2. I am learning to adjust to my world.

And when you meet people, you can tell immediately which of the two philosophies they favor.

Nervous energy, a tinge of anger, wringing hands over the problems in the world? This is a person who believes the world has a responsibility to adjust to him or her.

On the other hand, people who are easy-going and relaxed are travelers who realize that all the adjusting has to come from them—because the world was in business before they were born.

You can feel free to find another explanation. You can assume there is a possibility for eight billion pathways on this planet that has 27,000-mile waistline.

I would not criticize you or stand in your way. After all, it is your journey, not mine.

But for those “Simple Simons” like myself, who would like to find a more concise explanation, I offer the two-category primer.

So what will it be?

Are you going to keep seeking a world that will adjust to you? Or will you learn how to adjust to the world?

It is not an issue of good and bad. It is not an issue of righteous and evil, but rather, a simple determination on how many smiles you get to sprout in a given day.

The producers of jonathots would humbly request a yearly subscription donation of $10 for this inspirational opportunity

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Ask Jonathots … April 7th, 2016

 Jonathots Daily Blog

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There are many new weight loss supplements, procedures and surgeries. In your opinion, are they all scams? Is there any real help coming out of the medical and health field for weight loss, and what do you foresee in the future?

I have been overweight since birth–well certainly, since middle school.

So I am fully aware of the perils and purposes of weight loss.

It is similar to any endeavor of self-improvement. There is a certain order of events which must click into place to make the process work correctly.

As to your question about supplements, surgeries and procedures, we will get to that in a minute. First we have to understand the three-step process involved in self-improvement:

1. Without hating myself or making excuses, I have become dissatisfied with my situation.

In other words, occasional fits of guilt do not stimulate us to pursue wisdom, and having an excuse for why we are the way we are only makes us look anemic and stupid. When I am successful at weight loss, it is initiated because I am dissatisfied with my present situation yet feel no need for hating nor explaining myself.

2. I am prepared to honestly assess what I am willing to do and what I am not willing to do.

Even though doctors, friends and fellow-fatties may try to convict us of our need to lose weight, all of this is nothing but guilt until we have decided exactly what we’re open to.

What I’ve come up with is this: I am willing to change eating patterns that are unhealthy, eat a little bit less and not eat anything after dinner.

Right now, that’s my level of openness. I will not increase that through intimidation or self-incrimination. It’s what is available to me.

3. Establish a reward.

Human beings do not do well pursuing discipline without praise.

Reward yourself.

If you’re going to buy low-calorie food, make sure you get the kind of low-calorie food that may be a little more expensive, but is to your liking. I feel one key is to remove everything from your house that is high in calories, so if you do accidentally splurge, you’re falling off a shorter cliff.

These are the three things that have to be in place before you consider anything else. Once established, and once there is good cheer and satisfaction in your emotions about them, then you’re ready to consider other options.

Now, the ridiculous part about surgery is that you still end up having to be on a diet and eating less. It may take some immediate weight off, but that wieght is quite willing to come back quickly.

Supplements are comical because unless they are absorbed into the blood stream, most of them are eliminated through bowel movements or urine.

Honestly, the best procedure is to stick to whatever simple plan you come up with and make sure you honor it in joy.

For instance, the elimination of extra sugars from your diet will subtract about three pounds a month.

Cutting your carbs in half will cut five pounds a month from your waistline.

And, as in my case, not eating after dinner will generally shed somewhere between two to four pounds a month in itself.

If you’re in a hurry, your weight loss plan will fail.

The goal should be shedding about three or four pounds a month. It doesn’t sound like much, but at the end of a year, you’ve taken off fifty pounds–and fifty pounds is normally enough to alleviate much of your sadness and medical conditions.

I’m not a great fan of supplements, procedures and surgeries. It’s not that they’re scams–just that they are bandages which are eventually ripped away, taking with them the scab that was protecting your healing.

Look at the list of three things.

• Are you ready to deal with them?
• Are you ready to be honest about them instead of making promises which are unresponsive to your needs?

Remember this fact: if weight loss is based on what anybody else wants you to do, including God or your doctor, it will crumble.

So you have to decide what you want to do … and your level of commitment to achieve it.

The producers of Jonathots would humbly request a yearly subscription donation of $10 for this wonderful, inspirational opportunity

 

When I Grow Up … January 25, 2014

Jonathots Daily Blog

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As a teenager, one of the greatest horrors was having relatives visit, and feeling the need to communicate with me, they landed on one of two awkward questions:

1. How’s school?
2. What do you want to do when you grow up?

Concerning the first question, how’s school?–it’s similar to asking an inmate about his progress in the prison.

And the second question is a bear trap lest you answer incorrectly, with an occupation they deem unacceptable … well, you may end up becoming part of a beheading.

I finally got fed up with the inquiry and told my stuffy Presbyterian aunt that I had aspirations of becoming a Buddhist monk. Gasping, barely able to catch her breath, she turned to my parents in alarm and said, “Did you know about this?”

I quickly retracted my statement, explaining that although I had the waistline of the Buddha, I did not share his politics.

Now, I have a granddaughter who will become fifteen years old on Monday. A recent survey of fifteen-year-olds asked the question: what do you want to be when you grow up?  The top five answers: (1) Rich (2) Famous (3) Powerful (4) Beautiful (5) Sexy

So to my fifteen-year-old granddaughter, Isabella, let me say that when I grow up, I do want to be rich–possessing one more dollar than I need.

Certainly famous, in the sense of dazzling the handful sent my way.

Powerful? Yes. I fully intend to bring energy to wherever I am and whatever I’m doing, to make it more productive and joyful.

Now we come to beautiful. I guess  my definition of that would be to bring along a complete package of myself that makes people want to be with me.

And finally, sexy. Yes, it is truly sexy to find one person who continues to yearn for your touch.

I do not know whether it is possible for someone in their teen years to grasp all these concepts. Shoot, I don’t know whether I do.

• But there are riches available–and they are more pleasurable with contentment.
• And fame is not everybody knowing your name, but rather, in having your name bring something of integrity to those who know it.
• Power is something we possess, not somewhere we are.
• Beauty changes with time, but as long as it’s radiating from within, it maintains a certain consistency.
• And I don’t know if there is anything sexier than someone who can carry on a good conversation, while inserting humor.

So there you go. That’s what I want to be when I grow up.

You can see why I decided not to be a Buddhist monk.

The producers of jonathots would humbly request a yearly subscription donation of $10 for this wonderful, inspirational opportunity

Click for details on the SpirTed 2014 presentation

Please contact Jonathan’s agent, Jackie Barnett, at (615) 481-1474, for information about scheduling SpiriTed in 2014.

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