Cracked 5 … February 13th, 2018


Jonathots Daily Blog

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What People Under 20 Years of Age Think You Mean When You Mention Historical Events

A. Valley Forge

A mall??

 

B. Woodstock

The name for the non-metal parts of a rifle

 

C. Gettysburg

The new triple-decker vegetarian patty at Panera Bread

 

D. Watergate

A bridge of some sort?

 

E. Vietnam

The food you have to get when the Thai restaurant is too busy

 

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Cracked 5 … July 19th, 2016

 Jonathots Daily Blog

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Other Activities Available at the Republican National Convention in Cleveland, Ohio

 

A. A film

A 73-minute tribute to the National Football League team from Cleveland, entitled “Browns Lives Matter”

 

B. A lecture

“Watergate: What’s the Big Deal?”

 

C. A seminar

“Dowsing and Divining: Come Thirsty and Bring Your Own Crooked Stick”

 

D. A display

“The John Wilkes Booth: Buy Your Own Derringer (no background necessary)”

 

E. A petition

Sign up to get Lawrence Welk and Wayne Newton inducted into the Cleveland Rock and Roll Hall of Fame

Republican Girl

 

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PoHymn: A Rustling in the Stagnant

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Cracked 5 … April 5th, 2016

 Jonathots Daily Blog

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History As Remembered in the Mind of a Millennial

A. Abraham Lincoln won World War II and freed the slaves from the Eiffel Tower, where they were held hostage by Hitler and the Ku Klux Klan.

 

B. The Beatles came with the British Invasion, causing Benjamin Franklin to write the Declaration of Independence, which ushered in the Grammy Awards.

 

C. When the Viets attacked, Richard Nixon opened the Watergate to drown the Nams and save Woodstock.

 

D. The Pilgrims brought turkeys from their boat to feed the starving Indians at the Plymouth Rock Festival.

 

E. Two guys built an airplane and they did it so well that people called them the “Right Brothers.”

Plymouth Rock Festival

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Cracked 5 … October 13th, 2015

 Jonathots Daily Blog

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Halloween Costumes That Demand Too Much Explanation

A. Invited to a Halloween party with befuddled high-schoolers, you arrive dressed as Richard Nixon, circa the Watergate years.

 

B. Attending the Women’s Club Fall Festival, you are dressed as an unopened tampon, as your salute to menopause.

 

C. The NAACP holds its Halloween party, and you come through the door as a ghost, draped in a white sheet, terrifying the attendees.

 

D. Raising some eyebrows at a Halloween party with the theme, “Dress As Your Favorite Book,” you have selected to portray The Kama Sutra.

 

E. The first annual Halloween excursion at the synagogue is interrupted when your Charlie Chaplin costume comes too close to looking like Adolph.

Cracked 5 Nixon

 

 

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G-Poppers … August 21st, 2015

 Jonathots Daily Blog

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His name was Richard Milhouse Nixon. He was the 37th President of the United States.

In 1972, he pulled off a landslide victory for a second term, even though it was reported that some of his cohorts had broken into the headquarters of the Democratic Party at the Watergate Apartments.

He was so popular that he could have told the truth. But he made two mistakes–missteps that our politicians and celebrities continue to do today.

When the press found out about the break-in at the headquarters, questions arose. Nixon believed two things:

  1. They’re out to get me.
  2. Deny and let it die.

Because he felt that there were those individuals who were determined to destroy him, and that if he just denied the rumors that the confrontation would eventually go away, he set in motion the destruction of a President–similar to the demise of Frankenstein.

We created him, therefore we had to kill him.

As G-Pop sat down to think about those times in the early seventies, when lies were passed on as explanations, he realized that he needed to talk to his granddaughters about a human being who just happens to be a woman who is running for President.

She is making the same two mistakes.

Her name is Hillary Clinton. And even though she saw her husband err, deny and ultimately experience humiliation because of it, she is traipsing down the same path because she believes that politics has a different set of rules than real life.

Perhaps it will just go away.

But for every Watergate break-in which could be quickly handled in two news cycles through veracity, there is always a Woodward and Bernstein who will get to the bottom of the story and expose the coverup.

I do not know what possesses fully grown, allegedly mature human beings–to think that they can escape the scrutiny of a society that gets its kicks off of scrutinizing.

G-Pop wants his granddaughters to know there’s only one way to handle an error–especially if it is a mistake that was committed in ignorance or innocence.

A. This is what I knew.

Yes, at the time the flaw was perpetrated, this is what I knew about the situation, this is what I believed and this is what I thought.

B. This is what I know.

Now that time has passed, I see what was incorrect or insufficient.

C. So what now?

Since you are involved and I have told you the truth of the matter, how shall we proceed?

It is the natural inclination of human beings to forgive–unless they’ve been deceived. If we are deceived, all bets are off.

It’s really that simple. It doesn’t mean that all human beings will grant you pardon, but the ones who don’t look foolish and small.

Most Americans would have easily given grace to Richard Nixon if he had just been forthcoming about his involvement–or lack of involvement–in the Watergate break-in. For after all, they voted for him. They wanted to feel like they made the right choice. He turned a pimple into a cancer.

Hillary Clinton is doing exactly the same thing.

G-Pop just wants his granddaughters to know that this is not the way to act to be a solid citizen, or even to survive adversity.

He wants them to know that Hillary Clinton is first and foremost a member of the human race … not the only woman we could ever find to run for President. 

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Populie: Stand Up for Yourself … June 18, 2014

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 fightingTo gain any understanding of human relationships, we must learn the difference between bullying and physical abuse.

There is no doubt that if a we are physically attacked, a certain amount of defense is necessary to protect ourselves. Yet to channel that aggression into our everyday lives simply because we are dealing with critics, bullies and self-centered opponents is to open the door to cynicism and allow ourselves to become defensive and jaded.

There is a popular belief that we are required to defend ourselves against personal assault. The populie is that we should stand up for ourselves in all circumstances and never allow anyone to put us down.

Religion loves this simply because it allows them to drain creaky energy from the Old Testament, which permits a much more vindictive attitude towards those who are their enemies. (Allow me to warn you–every time you use the Old Testament to support your spiritual and emotional choices, you are denying the purpose for the lifestyle of Jesus.)

Politics loves “stand up for yourself” because it opens the door to deniability. In other words, even though you’ve done stupid or careless things, as long as you can deny them and act offended by the assertion, you can outlast your critics. This is the way politics works.

And of course, entertainment wants to put the hero in the corner with his or her back against the wall, and then have them fight their way to acceptance or freedom, to the applause and cheers of those who bought a ticket and a bucket of popcorn.

But if everybody in the world retaliates when challenged, then we will spend all of our time putting out brush fires of arguments instead of discovering the truth about ourselves and better ways to live.

Candidly, I almost didn’t write this essay because I knew my approach on this issue would be unpopular and even considered unnatural. But the greatest thing you can do when accused, verbally attacked, questioned or placed in a corner is to refuse to participate in the exercise because it only leads to a back-and-forth, meaningless futility. I attack you, you attack me, we attack each other, and then everyone around us is forced to take sides.

Writing a daily column on the Internet constantly puts me at risk of being questioned or even ambushed by people who choose to be critical of the work of others instead of venturing an effort of their own. I have developed a three-step process for everything I do in my life:

1. I said it.

In other words, as long as you’re quoting me correctly, I don’t have any problem with your disagreement and I refuse to question how you approach your comment. You are entitled to be upset with my words, my life and my choices. The power I have is in standing behind my words, my lifestyle and my choices.

I am not sure I know the value of an apology that begins with, “If I offended you … ”

When I offend you, I will apologize dearly, but if my mere beliefs and presence is a source of annoyance to you, I will continue my life and pray that you get over it.

2. I did it.

I am hungry and thirsty to see and hear human beings admit what they’ve done without clarification, excuse or defensiveness. I will tell you right now, if Richard Nixon had admitted what he knew about the Watergate break-in, been honest about his involvement and shared it immediately, he would never have been forced to resign.

I don’t know when we started thinking that diversion, lying, cheating and misrepresentation can ever win the day. Not only will the truth make you free, but if you reject the freedom, your sins will find you out.

3. This is who I am.

It doesn’t mean I’m not working on getting better; it doesn’t mean I’m always right. Certainly there are things I could learn from you. Yet I got over the need to pretend when I stopped being a child.

This is who I am.

I know there is such a thing as bullying, but if our children had more confidence about what they say, do and who they are, the silence they offer to the aggressive individuals around them would soon rob the varmints of the pleasure of riling them up.

Yes, we empower our enemies when we take their insults seriously.

So when we turn the other cheek, we are not being noble; rather, it is a sophisticated form of stubbornness … refusing to be curtailed by the whim and wishes of others.

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After an appearance earlier this year in Surprise, Arizona, Janet and I were blessed to receive a “surprise” ourselves. Click on the beautiful Arizona picture above to share it with us!

Click here to get info on the "Gospel According to Common Sense" Tour

Click here to get info on the “Gospel According to Common Sense” Tour

Please contact Jonathan’s agent, Jackie Barnett, at (615) 481-1474, for information about scheduling SpiriTed in 2014.

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Ford Every Stream … August 12, 2012

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His name was Gerald Ford. He was a great American. I define that distinction as any politician who is able to escape the bonds of the party line to do what is really right for the country.

He became President of our nation after Richard Nixon resigned in disgrace. He took over a country preoccupied with Watergate, sick to death of the remnants of Viet Nam and cynical about anyone who would ever campaign for a vote.

He had some remarkable achievements.

Gerald Ford, official Presidential photo. Fran...

Gerald Ford, official Presidential photo. Français : Gerald Ford, premier portrait officiel du Président américain, (1974). (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

First–he pardoned Nixon. The last thing in the world the United States needed was to put a former President on trial for felony charges. It was also a bold move because he attacked someone from his own party and told him he was guilty and in need of absolution.He was President when we finally dislodged ourselves from Indochina and the Viet Nam war. He managed to rally the spirit of our country for the celebration of a beautiful bicentennial in 1976–only fourteen months after the removal of Nixon. He was married to a woman named Betty, who was very honest about her weaknesses, and the clinic she began (Betty Ford Clinic) is still a symbol for rehabilitation for those who find themselves trapped in some form of addiction.

He did one remarkable thing that we must always honor him for and hopefully, learn from ourselves. He kept things from getting worse.

Sometimes we forget that the only path available to us is to make a courageous stand and keep things from getting worse.

I am America. The reason I say that is that my story parallels what has happened in this country during the past four years. In 2008, I had a very expensive house on a lake in Tennessee, escalating in value at what should have been considered an alarming rate. There was no reason for ME to be alarmed–after all, I was getting rich. I was living beyond my means, utilizing an abundance of credit cards to fund the fantasy. I was involved with many vanity projects in the sense that I was throwing money into efforts to substantiate their importance and confirm their value.

I had recently lost eighty-five pounds, landing at my new fighting weight and felt proud. I had health insurance, which allowed me to go to the doctor four times a year, where I was able to confirm my present status of unhealthiness. And then suddenly, like millions of other Americans, it was all gone.

I sit here four years later without my house, without credit cards, having lost no additional weight (though I have continued to try) and devoid of any cash to pursue vanity. I also do not have health insurance, so my present physical well-being is an intriguing mixture of the remains of my medical history mingled with my faith in God.

People would say that I am worse off than I was in 2008. They would be wrong.

My life now is vacant of deception, worry, misrepresentation and I have been present while all the bubbles have been burst. What is left to me is the ability to understand that I have taken this journey with the rest of my countrymen and have come out the other end praising God that it wasn’t worse.

It has legitimized my efforts. It has made what I pursue realistic instead of fantastic. Now, every day I have the honor of writing this essay for the Internet which you are now reading, I put out a weekly letter of fellowship weekly to several hundred pastors across the country and I interact with hundreds of people face-to-face, sharing my heart and listening to theirs.

It is clean, pure of heart and it is real. When I reach into my wallet, the contents of that leather pouch is mine and not partially owned by Bank of America.

So as we determine the future of our lives and our country, let me present to you to four questions that really confirm progress.

1. What has really taken place? In my case, I went from being a puffed-up poet funded by credit, to a traveling artisan who presses flesh and interacts in a human way with human beings.

2. Is it anything of what I expected? Once again, I return to myself. Life is never what we expect, but occasionally is gracious enough to allow some of our ideas to be included. In other words, there have been many surprises but the greatest gift to me over the past four years has been the ability to energize my own mission.

3. What have I learned? Volumes. First of all, I learned that you can maintain your weight and still become healthier by increasing exercise and improving the quality of your nutrition. I learned that merely writing something is not the same as blessing the world around you. I learned that simplicity is powerful when it’s paid for and within your abilities.

4. What can I use going forward? I can use everything that does not demand that I become presumptuous. That is the problem with our country. We are a presumptuous lot. We presume superiority, we presume finance, we presume spirituality and we presume manifest destiny. All of these things are available to us but they do require our humble involvement.

I now know in my life what works and what doesn’t. The only question that remains is, will I pursue the functioning parts or habitually insist on chasing evaporated dreams?

We can learn a lot from Gerald Ford. Although he was never elected to the Presidency and failed to gain the office in the 1976 election, he stepped in a gap and kept things from getting worse.

For after all, in the case of a gun shot wound, the first step to healing is to stop the bleeding. I don’t know about you–this past four years has helped me to stop the bleeding.

I am grateful.

 

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